The Deception of Self-Help
“…I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.” Ephesians 4:1
Podcasts, self-help books, and successful speakers seem to be what this generation consumes on a regular basis. They’re thirsty for solid advice from those who can speak from a position of experience and success. When they see what these individuals have achieved, see their ‘supposed’ contentment and joy, see all that they have and enjoy, why wouldn’t they be charmed?
This isn’t new. In 1989, a powerful self-help book took the world by storm. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People became a talking point among professionals and friends. Both the secular and Christian world seemed to embrace the sage advice and people were hungry to learn more. It shifted the thinking and doing of so many people from the ‘personal’ focus to the ‘character’ focus and, though it included some good advice, it missed the Scriptural foundation that should be the mark of a believer’s life. Yet many were swayed by the chapters and took to reading and following with the fervor that should have been reserved for their quiet time with the Lord. Instead of Bible time, it became self-help time.
Our sons and daughters have grown up with the self-help world surrounding them and speaking into their growth, goals, and processes. Why is it that we’re drawn to speakers, books, and podcasts that give us lists of things to do in order to be successful, get healthy, lose weight, or, you name the accomplishment. Theses systems and people promise success and prosperity and we take the bait. We’re eager to hear what we should do to be like ‘that’ person. We want the list to follow that will bring the results. I think it speaks to our human need to do something effective, to work toward bettering ourselves and being successful, to be able to point to our efforts as the reason for our progress and success.
And the Christian world is not immune. We like the polished presentation that promises the good God has for us and we fall into traps of the ‘prosperity gospel’. We can easily become entangled in the trap of works-based religion. When we can check off an item on a list, we feel accomplished and effective. If we’re discouraged, we can go back to our list and remind ourselves of how far we’ve come and what we’ve accomplished. It becomes a Pharisaical habit that puts Jesus on the back burner. We risk becoming obsessed with ‘steps’ or personal accomplishments and lose sight of what Jesus calls us to do and be. We substitute our efforts for the sacrificial atonement of Jesus on the cross.
We need to pray that our sons and daughters would be protected from the trap of self-help and promises of prosperity and instead that they would focus on and practice the Truth of Scripture to make them more like Christ.
Here are some prayer points:
Pray that our sons and daughters would ask themselves, “What am I pursuing?” “What is it that I want my life to represent?” Then, pray that they would have the mindset of Jesus Christ. Jesus wasn’t out to promote himself to gain accolades or wealth, He was focused on serving others to point them to God.
“In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.” Philippians 2:5-7
2. Pray they would live a life that demonstrates worship of Christ, not conformity to the ways of this world.
“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:1-2
3. Pray they would prioritize and pursue what has eternal value.
“For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?” (ESV) Mark 8:36
“So that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.” Colossians 1:10-12
4. Pray that they would live, not for success and accomplishment, but live in such a way that others would see Jesus in them daily, in their actions, attitudes, and values.
“Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.” Romans 13:14
We are not meant to be comfortable in this life, that’s something that the influencers of this world don’t understand. Philippians 1:29, “For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him,”
Jesus didn’t save us to ensure we lived our best life now and enjoy our reward here on this earth…no, our best life is yet to come and our reward is in heaven, with Him. If we spend our lives trying to pursue success, wealth, and influence, yet neglect to share the gospel in effective ways we are missing our purpose here on this earth and not respecting or honoring the sacrifice Christ made for our redemption.
Instead of self-help, let’s plead for more of the Holy Spirit in us, in our children, transforming each of us. Instead of success, let’s pursue godliness. Instead of fame, let’s make Jesus’ name known among the nations. When we stand before the throne, our habits will be judged, let’s ensure they’re Spirit-led and God-honoring. Let’s pray that our sons and daughters are not deceived by the trappings of this world but are convicted by and committed to living according to the Truth of Scripture, not the habits of men.
“Oh, Lord, there are so many distractions and promises of success that this world throws at us. Please give (name) clear discernment to recognize what is the shallow deception of the enemy. Convict them to daily search Your Word for Truth and to be salt and light in this world to point others to Christ. I pray (name) would pursue You, not their own desires. Lord, help them to make much of Jesus, not of themselves. Develop Godly habits in them so that everything they choose to do and say would reflect Jesus to others. Lord, our time is short, this world is temporary. Please cultivate a right spirit in (name) so that when they stand before You their life would be a beautiful testimony to the redemption of Jesus, not an empty list of worthless actions and selfish pursuits. Lord, may Your name be glorified in them. I pray this in Jesus’ name, amen.”
Pray without ceasing. God is working!
Prodigal Prayer
Do you see your loved one pursuing the deception that says “I can make my own choices, I can be whatever I want to be, I can succeed on my own power”? The prodigal path is one full of lies, deceptions, and, ultimately, a life without Christ.
Don’t lose heart. Keep laying your burdens in prayer at the feet of Jesus. Trust Him and know that He’s working. You may not see it, but He works in dimensions that are beyond our comprehension. Pray for those who will interact with your beloved prodigal, that God would use them to bring them to the cross. Greater is He that is in us than he that is in this world, 1 John 4:4.
40 Days of Prayer for the Prodigal
is a powerful book for anyone
crying out to the Lord
for the heart of their loved one.
This book addresses the battle for the heart, mind, and soul of the prodigal
through praying Scripture boldly and consistently with faith
that God will bring repentance and restoration.
The reader will prepare their heart with their own surrender to God
and then they will speak and pray the words of Scripture
back to God in effective and powerful ways,
praying specifically over the condition and situation of their beloved prodigal. Transformation can begin in the life of the prodigal
and in the reader’s own heart as well.
Grab your copy today! Read and share!
The Importance of Godly Parents
Throughout scripture there are accounts of fathers and mothers who, despite the social and political pressures of the day, raised their sons and daughters to stand strong for the Lord. As parents, it is our highest calling and our greatest investment. Careers won’t matter. Portfolios will be worthless. Possessions will rust and fade. But our children are the godly legacy that carries on and impacts this world for Jesus.
The book of Psalms testifies, again and again, of David’s longing to be filled with the Lord, be satisfied by His words and comforted by His presence. David, a simple shepherd boy, who became King of the nation of Israel, not by his education, not by his networking with other power players, but because of his genuine heart for the Lord. God chose him. How did David develop that heart for God? He said in Psalm 86:16, “Turn to me and have mercy on me; show your strength in behalf of your servant;save me, because I serve you just as my mother did.” And in Psalm 116:16 he said, “Truly I am your servant, Lord; I serve you just as my mother did; you have freed me from my chains.” It’s clear that David’s mother played a strong role in how he understood and interacted with God. David had a heart of obedience to the Lord because his mother modeled it for him.
We’re all familiar with Proverbs 31 and the description of the virtuous woman. But we often skip the first nine verses of the chapter. Take a moment and read that first verse, “The sayings of King Lemuel—an inspired utterance his mother taught him.” A godly mother bore influence on the chapter that defines godly womanhood. She had a powerful impact on her son, who in turn has influenced people for thousands of years. That’s some godly parenting!
Godly fathers, too, are vital and irreplaceable. From the time of the garden, God modeled what that relationship should look like, walking and talking with Adam in the cool of the day (Gen 3:8-9).
Abraham didn’t become a father until he was 99 years old. Yet, he was unequivocally dedicated to following the Lord, to the point he was willing to obey God and offer his son, his only son, Isaac as a sacrifice to the Lord. Yet, Abraham knew God’s promise- that he would be the father of many nations. He also knew that promise came through Isaac. Abraham obeyed God because he trusted that God would do a miracle. God was faithful to His promises. And Isaac, he trusted His father. He knew that Abraham walked and talked with God. He knew Abraham was a friend of God. His father’s obedience to God meant blessing for the generations to come. Isaac chose to model what his father did, he didn’t flinch, he obeyed too. At the right time, God provided a ram as the substitution for Isaac’s life. Abraham's obedience provided a picture of Jesus’ substitutionary atonement for us. God provided a lamb. (Genesis 22). Abraham’s faith was the example for not only Isaac, but for us as well.
God doesn’t just ‘hope’ that we’ll understand how to parent well, He provided specific instruction. Deuteronomy 6 gives guidelines to the Israelite men on how they should spiritually lead their homes and how they should teach their children about God and His commands and promises.
These are the commands, decrees and laws the Lord your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the Lord your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life. (Deut. 6:1-2)
These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. (Deut. 6:6-9)
Though our sons and daughters are grown, our influence as a parent is not. We can continue to impact them through all of our days, and even after we are called home. How do we live? How do we obey God? Are we modeling trust, faith, and obedience?
Consider the question, what are we impressing on our children? Political views? Social norms? Or the power of the Word of God? Are we building into them so they can be an influencer of this world or for the Kingdom of God? We have a heavy responsibility and we need to embrace it intentionally and with a sense of urgency…for such a time as this.
It may not be our words to our sons and daughters, but our words to the Father on their behalf, that moves them to a deeper relationship with Him and strengthens their resolve to follow faithfully and fearlessly.
We are called to teach, lead, guide, and protect the hearts and minds of our sons and daughters. Yes, that gets harder as they grow into adulthood because our influence diminishes. Yet the relationship remains and in that, we can point them to Christ, daily. It may not be our words to them, but our words to the Father on their behalf, that moves them to a deeper relationship with Him and strengthens their resolve to follow faithfully and fearlessly.
And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. Eph 6:18
The days are dark. Time is short. How will we parent in this season of influencing adult children?
Romans 13:11-14 And do this, understanding the present time: The hour has already come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.
Today is the day. Don’t look to the past. The enemy will dredge up every parenting regret that we hold. Rebuke him. Look at today and look ahead. How will you impress these truths on your sons and daughters for such a time as this? How will you model living a life sold out for Christ? How will you daily point them to the cross so that when they must choose, they choose Jesus, only Jesus?
“Heavenly Father, I come to You in the power of the Holy Spirit who lives in me. This world is dark and I see the enemy working in dark ways, yet no longer hidden but boldly working with such evil and hatred that is made to look like a righteousness that the world craves. The evil that reigns is so antithetical to everything in Your Word and against Your nature, Your character, and Your will. Yet it is packaged as ‘justice’ and ‘goodness’, ‘tolerance’ and ‘love’. When I compare what I see with Your Word, I see the deception. Do my sons and daughters see it? Will they take a stand against it? I pray that You would impress righteousness on their hearts, Lord. Holy Spirit, move and work in (name)’s heart and mind so that they long to follow Christ with all they are and have. I pray that their conscience would be burdened by the evil they see- don’t let them look away or push it off for another to address. Lord, give them a hunger and thirst for Your Word (Mt 5:6) Draw them into a daily time to be still before You and know that You are God (Ps. 46:10) Lord, let them pray with strong conviction and courage, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. (Ps 46:1-3). I pray, Father God, that You would raise (name) up to be a strong man/woman of God, uncompromising, convicted to follow You, and heavily reliant on Your wisdom and strength, not their own. Lord, help me to model that to them. Help me to be a father/mother who is uncompromising in my commitment to You and let my life demonstrate what it means to be a man/woman of God. Make (name) strongly rooted in Christ so that the fruit they bear is a testimony to their faithful walk with You. I pray these things in the mighty name of Jesus, our Lord and Savior, amen,”
Prodigal Prayer
“Oh Father, (name) is choosing to not follow You. Their heart is far from You, pursuing and loving things that defy You. I know You have the power to turn their heart from darkness to light, from the power of Satan to the power of God. Holy Spirit, I pray that You would convict and bring (name) to repentance. Lord, they are living in a far off land, separated from Your love and goodness, separated from Your holiness. Bring them home, Lord. Open their eyes to see the emptiness of what they’re pursuing and the rottenness of what they’re ingesting. The emptiness is there, yet it’s packaged as ‘good’, but the good of this world is rotten and the food of this world is poisonous. Pull (name) out of the mud and mire and set their feet on the Rock- Jesus! You have the power, Lord. I pray, in the Spirit, that You would surround (name) and guide them to redemption and give them a heart that would love and serve You. Raise (name) up to be a man/woman of God, one whose testimony would be a powerful story of Your redeeming love. Lord, I know You can. I pray You will. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
Pray without ceasing
Follow
Some people choose a word for the year, one that will be their focus and potentially represent what they choose to do, accomplish, and be. Maybe it’s ‘health’ or ‘positivity’. We download apps and follow influencers hoping to make the changes that will make us better.
But God doesn’t set expectations that WE would better ourselves on our own- we honestly don’t have the ability to do that. Oh, we might be able to generate an illusion… but so often our efforts leave us feeling discouraged and defeated. What God does ask of us is that we follow Him. Follow. Not lead. Not walk nearby or on a similar pathway, but follow.
“Follow me.”
The word ‘follow’ in Greek is the word “akoloutheo” and it means to be in the same way with, to accompany, to cleave steadfastly to one, to conform wholly to His example in living and, if need be, dying.” 1
A great way to begin our year is by praying that our sons and daughters follow Jesus. Not a casual ‘checking in to see updates’ or looking for the most popular trend, but following Jesus faithfully, daily, passionately. Does their life reflect a commitment to Jesus? Do their choices, their words and actions, their pursuits and values demonstrate that Jesus is the One they value over anything and anyone else?
Here’s another important question, does our own life reflect that? Do we live with a passion to serve Him? It’s important because even though our sons and daughters are grown, they’re still watching us. They look to us to be examples…or the justification for why they choose to do…or not do. Are we following well?
If we are following Christ, our life will demonstrate that. People will believe what we say when our life exhibits the evidence that our words are true. Do we live as if we’re in the same way with Jesus, accompanying Him, cleaving steadfastly to Him and conforming wholly to His example in living and, if need be, dying.” 1
Oh that we would all have a passion for Christ that consumes us to the point that we radiate joy, we seek to serve, we delight in praise and worship, and we hold the things of this world very lightly. Our life isn’t here, it is with Christ. We are only here for a short time- let’s make the most of it for Jesus! Let’s commit to pray, every day, that we and our sons and daughters, would follow Christ with conviction, with a commitment that doesn’t waver, and that we would daily choose Him over everything and everyone else.
“Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father, there is no shadow of turning with Thee.” 2
No shadow of turning. Consider the visual image of that. Someone who is in the light, who doesn’t turn to either side or turn back doesn’t give evidence of a shadow, ever.
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” James 1:17 Our God is faithful and steady. If we are to be like Him, that means we should demonstrate the same- no shadow of turning; faithful to follow for all the days of our life. We have so little time, we can’t waste it turning aside to pursue what this world offers.
“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works,” Hebrews 10:23-24 ESV
Our sons and daughters need our intercession now more than ever! We have a mighty calling! Are we going to embrace it, take up the challenge and pray? Oh, friends, let’s do it! Let’s commit to praying for this next generation. God, in His mercy and kindness, has granted us another year. Let’s take on 2025 as if it may be our last year to fervently and effectively pray for our sons and daughters, our loved ones, our neighbors and even those we don’t know and have never met. Satan is in an all-out war to take captive as many souls as he can. Let’s fight his agenda! Let’s battle against his tactics. Let’s follow Jesus unwaveringly, fighting the good fight until He returns! Pray without ceasing!
“Heavenly Father, I bring (name) before You today. I know You know them well. You created them. I ask today that You would empower and embolden them to follow You faithfully. Lord, impress upon them the need to be fully committed to You, surrendered to Your will, and eager to serve You in whatever way and place You might call them. Help me to pray faithfully and to surrender to Your will as well. Lord, I know the hopes and dreams I have for them, but Yours are greater and hold eternal value. Help me to follow You without turning aside to my own hopes or agenda. Help me to pray unselfishly and according to Your will. Lord, I ask that You would protect (name). Keep them from deception. Fill them with wonder at Your word and a desire to live for You, to worship and praise You and to live a life that exhibits no shadow of turning. I pray these things in Jesus’ name, amen.”
Prodigal Prayer- “Lord, name is following other paths that they believe will earn them the life they deserve and the reward they crave. I pray You would get (name)’s attention. Open their eyes to see that they are following empty things- things that only deliver disappointment and ultimately, destruction . They are on a road that leads to eternal death. And in their following, they are accompanying others who are walking towards death. Lord, turn them around, help them to see You promise forgiveness and redemption, eternal life and an inheritance that is beyond anything this world can offer. Give (name) a desire to know and follow You. Change what they follow so that they would follow You.”
G190 - akoloutheō - Strong's Greek Lexicon (kjv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g190/kjv/tr/0-1/
Chisholm, T. O. (n.d.). Great is thy faithfulness. Hymnary.org. https://hymnary.org/text/great_is_thy_faithfulness_o_god_my_fathe