The Power of Forgiveness: breaking the chains that hold us hostage
“But I don’t want to!”
I’ll admit, that was my own response to the Lord when someone offended me. I wasn’t ready to forgive. I had all kinds of reasons to delay forgiveness. I wanted to hold onto the offense, coddle it, and hold it close because I was justified to do so (and others would agree, of course!) There was security and power in holding a grudge. That person wronged me, hurt me, did or said things that were not right. If I forgave them, I would be letting them ‘off the hook’ and that would be wrong…right?
We struggle to do what Jesus asks us because we think that if we forgive, we’re exonerating that person from their offense and we’re removing their accountability for what they’ve done. “Lord, if I forgive them, then they’re getting away with it!” Satan deceives us into that mindset, friends along with the delusion that we have that kind of power. Ultimately, God holds that ‘other’ accountable- He sees and knows. They will stand before Him and answer for what they’ve done. No one gets away with sin. No one. Sometimes the law or the church can successfully bring justice or resolution, but be assured, the offense will not be forgotten, nor will it be dismissed in the eyes of God.
But when it comes to our sons and daughters, our protective parental nature steps up to shield our kids and make sure they’re okay. We will fight for them when they cannot stand for themselves. And we’re even more cautious and hesitant to offer forgiveness because we’re protecting our family and we want justice and to see payment for the offense.
“Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Matthew 18:21
When Peter asked Jesus, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” (Matthew 18:21). I’m sure Peter thought he was being generous and righteous, taking the higher road, to forgive someone seven times was going above and beyond, right?
But Jesus' response turned that around. “Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” (Matthew 18:22)
Why would Jesus say that?
You see, forgiveness is not just for the ‘other’ person. Forgiveness is for us who are offended and who struggle with the injustice of it. Forgiving once isn’t enough because those feelings of injustice, hurt, pain, anger, bitterness and more come flooding back into our hearts in ever increasing waves and begin to put distance between us and God. Oh, we justify it by saying we’re holding that other person accountable. But really, we’re poisoning our own hearts in our quest to justify our hurt and bring accountability to the other. Holding that other person accountable becomes our full time obsession and consumes our thinking, our being and steals our joy.
Studies show that harboring unforgiveness has a physical impact on our bodies.
“Chronic anger puts you into a fight-or-flight mode, which results in numerous changes in heart rate, blood pressure and immune response. Those changes, then, increase the risk of depression, heart disease and diabetes, among other conditions. Forgiveness, however, calms stress levels, leading to improved health.” (1)
Unforgiveness can damage us for life and lead to a premature death. It can be all consuming and ruinous. Why would we allow something to have that much power over us?
The act of forgiveness releases that pain, hurt, and poison. But it’s never a ‘one and done’ act. We need to forgive as many times as it takes for our head and heart to recognize and believe that we can trust GOD to hold that other person accountable and to be confident He will bring justice- it’s not for us to ensure. Oh, if laws were broken and restitution is needed, of course it’s important to engage the legal system. But friends, it’s even more important to engage our hearts with the Lord and surrender to His Lordship. Why would we let someone else’s offense damage our relationship with God? Then their offense becomes doubly-damaging.
It is not our responsibility to be the prosecuting attorney in the courtroom of the Lord. That’s just not our job. Essentially, when we do that, we are putting ourselves in God’s place and friends, that’s idolatry. When we refuse to forgive, we are telling God we don’t trust Him to bring justice and resolution. We question His authority, His power, and His lordship in our lives when we cling to unforgiveness. When we hold onto an offense, it becomes the ‘third wheel’ in the relationship and soon, it becomes the focus and God takes a back seat.
Instead, every time we feel that anger, bitterness, and pain bubble up, we need to say “I forgive them.” Say it out loud, say it in your heart, say it to the Lord, and pray that He would help you feel that forgiveness. We need to continue saying it until we truly feel the forgiveness that releases us from the bondage of bitterness that would damage our communion with the Lord. We need to say it until we are no longer consumed by it.
Jesus told Peter to forgive seventy times seven because He knew how an offense and the resulting bitterness linger and unless we’re willing to give it to the Lord and allow Him to be our avenger, we will become hardened, bitter, and a victim of that offense all over again, and again, and again.
“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” Mark 11:25
Jesus also told Peter, “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” (Mark 11:25). Think about that! Do we want Jesus to forgive us? If so, then we need to forgive others.
Do you ever feel like your prayers are hitting the ceiling but not reaching the Lord? Could it be you need to do some forgiving?
“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” Luke 6:37
Now here’s an important parenting moment….of course our sons and daughters have encountered hurt and offense…how do we advise them? And do we carry a grudge on their behalf?
Oh, friends, when someone wrongs our kids, the “Momma bear” can come out and take over, right? But if we want to be an example of Christ to our sons and daughters, we need to model Jesus to them. Jesus forgave those who crucified Him. Think about that. Jesus forgave those who put Him to death. He knew that He held the ultimate power and that one day those same people would stand before Him…His love for them and His desire to see them know and follow Him as Lord and Savior eclipsed everything else. Would Jesus deny them salvation? No! That was the very reason He was willing to die. And friends, that same Savior who holds ultimate power is the One who lives in us. That same power that raised Him from the dead is the same power that works in us (Ephesians 1:18-20). The same Lord who conquered sin and death is the Lord who is in control of every aspect of our life. Why would we set that aside for the sake of holding onto the sinful attitude of unforgiveness?
Do we have a heart for others that, more than earthly justice and payback to others, wants to see lost people saved? Do we want to see lives changed and surrendered to the Lord or are we clinging to our need for personal justice and accountability at the cost of eternity?
True freedom comes by praying for those who have hurt you. Pray for their heart- that they would find forgiveness and purpose with life in Christ. And pray that Jesus would heal your heart and help you forgive. There is so much freedom in forgiveness. There is joy, there is purpose, and there is a pathway to serving the Lord free from the chains of bitterness and unforgiveness. Satan uses unforgiveness to hold us hostage, but freedom is found in Christ and in the forgiveness He empowers us to embrace.
“Forgive. Seventy times seven and keep forgiving until God grants you the freedom from the bondage of unforgiveness.”
The best thing we can do is to pray.
“Oh, Lord, it’s so hard to surrender control over the situations and people who have hurt me. I know I don’t have the ability to bring justice, to make them pay for their offenses, and to restore what was lost. Yet I’m afraid to let go and forgive because it seems counter-productive and in my mind and heart. In my human mind, forgiveness releases them from being accountable. But Lord, I know You see it and You will take it in hand. Psalm 10:14 reminds me, “But you, God, see the trouble of the afflicted; you consider their grief and take it in hand. The victims commit themselves to you; you are the helper of the fatherless.” I am not Fatherless, Lord, because I have You. I pray that You would see my trouble. See the trouble of (name), my (son/daughter). I ask that You would bring healing and freedom from the pain of the wrong done and from the bitterness and anger that fester. Give us courage and strength to forgive, not just for the other person, but to maintain our relationship with You. Please help us to not allow this to stand in the way of our fellowship with You. So right now, I choose to forgive (name) for what they did and the pain they caused. I forgive them Lord and pray that You would work in their life, bring confession, repentance, and redemption so that (name) would come to know You as Lord and Savior. Help (name) to recognize that hurting others only tightens the chains of bondage that Satan holds over them and to understand that there is boundless spiritual freedom in following Jesus as Lord and. Bring healing and freedom to all of us, Lord. I pray this in Jesus’ name, amen.”
Pray without ceasing.
Forgiveness: Your health depends on it. Johns Hopkins Medicine. (2024, June 20). https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/forgiveness-your-health-depends-on-it
Are you praying for a prodigal? Don’t lose heart. God sees and He hears. Keep laying your burdens in prayer at the feet of Jesus. Trust Him, He is working. You may not see it, but He works in dimensions that are beyond our comprehension. Pray for those friends and associates that interact with your beloved prodigal, that God would use them to bring them to full surrender to Jesus as Lord.
40 Days of Prayer for the Prodigal is a powerful book for anyone deeply in prayer for the heart of their loved one. The book addresses the battle for the heart, mind, and soul of the prodigal through praying Scripture boldly and consistently with faith that God will bring repentance and restoration. Pray the words of Scripture in powerful and effective ways to plead with God about the condition and situation of your beloved prodigal and watch God work!
Grab your copy today!
Available on Amazon
Have you read 40 Days of Prayer for the Prodigal? Consider leaving a review! There are so many who could benefit from this resource, let them know! God is moving and working!
Don’t Ever Stop Praying
Are you feeling weary? Does it seem like you keep praying, day in and day out, asking for change in your son or daughter’s heart, yet, each day goes by all the same? Don’t give up! God is working and it may be there is a wrestling going on in the heart of your son or daughter that you cannot see. Pray that the Holy Spirit would continue to bring conviction and surrender. Pray they would grow weary of the wrestling and surrender to God.
Remember trying to change your toddler’s diaper? At times it was like wrestling an alligator. The rolling and twisting was top rate. It was a battle of strength and agility, parental will pitted against toddler will with grunts, cries, and frustration on all sides. Anyone watching got to see a full-on wrestling match, all in an effort to just change a diaper. The toddler wanted their freedom, they had things to do, messes to make, and naps to avoid. But the parent, the parent just wanted to clean them up and get them out of the mess they were sitting in. They wanted the best for their little one.
God wants the best for us, too. He is willing to step into the wrestling to get us out of the filth we’re sitting in. Maybe that’s just what’s going on in the heart of your son or daughter, a wrestling between their will and God’s. They wrestle and resist, wanting their own way, telling Him He’s unkind, unreasonable, and too demanding of them. He’s restricting their movement, harshing their fun. They don’t see their mess…or if they do, they’re satisfied with it and just want to be left alone. But, yet, they’re wrestling…and that means they’re engaging with God on some level. Don’t stop praying!
Oh, how we want our sons and daughters to be surrendered to God so that He can do His work in their lives, don’t we? Yet, they wrestle. They resist. And if we’re honest, we do the same. We don’t want to be told what to do and heaven forbid God points out sin that needs to be addressed. No one wants to hear that. Yet, we have a loving Father who just wants to clean us up from the mess we’re sitting in. He wants to give us a healthy spiritual life that is reflected in a godly testimony to others. He wants us to live like Jesus.
“We know that we have come to know him if we keep his commands. Whoever says, “I know him,” but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in that person. But if anyone obeys his word, love for God is truly made complete in them. This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did.” 1 John 2:3-6
Jesus didn’t wrestle with the Father, He submitted to Him. Even when the Father asked our Lord to surrender His life to pay for our sins, Jesus did it willingly. So when we wrestle with God, we’re not living as Jesus did. We’re fighting God, kicking against His will and defying the Holy Spirit.
Keep on praying. God is working and though we may only see the battle, He sees the heart. He hears our cries..and theirs. He is responding and working in ways we can’t fully understand. He will not let them go, He’ll see it through because they need to be changed. God refuses to let them sit in their filth forever.
Let’s pray Scripture over them today:
Luke 5:12 “While he was in one of the cities, there came a man full of leprosy. And when he saw Jesus, he fell on his face and begged him, “Lord, if you will, you can make me clean.” Lord, I know you can make [name] clean. I pray You would give them the desire to be cleansed and healed from sin. Draw them to Your side, urge them to ask You for healing and deliverance. Help them to stop wrestling and look to You for rescue, redemption, and restoration. I pray that [name] would pray Psalm 51:10, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”
“Restore to [name] the joy of Your salvation and renew a right spirit in [name].” Ps 51:12 May Psalm 51:17 be the prayer of their heart, “My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.”
Oh what joy that would bring to my heart, and I know it would fill You with joy as well, Lord, to see [name] surrender to You and be in a right relationship with You.
Lord, conquer the wrestling spirit in [name] and give them the peace and joy that only comes from You. I pray, Father, that they would see You have their best in mind, You want to bless them with joy, hope, and peace. Clean them up, Lord. Give them a heart like Jesus. In His name I pray, amen.”
Pray without ceasing.
Are you praying for a prodigal? Don’t lose heart. God sees and He hears. Keep laying your burdens in prayer at the feet of Jesus. Trust Him, He is working. You may not see it, but He works in dimensions that are beyond our comprehension. Pray for those friends and associates that interact with your beloved prodigal, that God would use them to bring them to full surrender to Jesus as Lord.
40 Days of Prayer for the Prodigal is a powerful book for anyone deeply in prayer for the heart of their loved one. The book addresses the battle for the heart, mind, and soul of the prodigal through praying Scripture boldly and consistently with faith that God will bring repentance and restoration. Pray the words of Scripture in powerful and effective ways to plead with God about the condition and situation of your beloved prodigal and watch God work!
Grab your copy today!
Available on Amazon
Have you read 40 Days of Prayer for the Prodigal? Consider leaving a review! There are so many who could benefit from this resource, let them know! God is moving and working!
God is Faithful to Restore Us and Lead Us
“He refreshes [restores] my soul.” Psalm 23:3
(spiritual renewal)
Restoration is hard work. It is the effort to bring something back to its original condition when time, decay, and circumstances affect its beauty, its purpose, and its value. Any shadow of what it once was or was intended to be has long since faded. The beauty is covered in dirt, mold, and decay, the edges are rough, once-strong supports are rotted, the luster is dulled. But an expert still sees the value and knows what it could be, if restored. Restoration requires someone who is skilled and has vision and an understanding of what something once was or was intended to be in order to restore it to its original state.
Jesus is our Restorer. He created us, so He knows us intimately and He knows exactly who and what He intended us to be. He is able to revive, refresh, and restore our spiritual selves to the “shalom” He intended us to enjoy in the garden, where everything was in a right relationship to Him. Isaiah 60:1 says about Jesus, “The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,”
We can pray Psalm 51:2, “Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.” Jesus is able; He can do it!
“Jesus, You are the Restorer of all things. You promise that You will restore us and make us new. 2 Corinthians 5:17-20 says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come; The old has gone, the new is here! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.” I pray that You would begin a work of restoration and reconciliation in (name) today.”
“Lord, strip away the rotten things that would cause decay in (name)’s life. Replace the battered and worn parts with new. Refresh their outlook and restore their heart to be aligned with Yours. Work in them to stir a desire to be made new with a heart like Jesus. Remind them that, “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” Ephesians 4:22-24. Show them clearly that You love them and You desire that they would be brought into fellowship with You, welcomed into Your house and home for eternity. Give (name) a heart for restoration so they would not only embrace the gospel and receive a new heart but that they would share the life-giving gospel with others so they, too, could be restored. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
“He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.”
(direction, purpose)
When God restores us, it’s not for our benefit alone, although we do reap great benefits from the renewal of our heart, mind, and spirit. But it is for His glory that He redeems us! He gives us direction and purpose.
Ephesians 1:11-12 tells us, “In Him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of Him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of His will, in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of His glory.”
He has a plan and purpose for each of us Philippians 2:13, “for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill His good purpose.” The phrase, “For His name’s sake” indicates that we are to live in such a way that we maintain his name and reputation (1). If we fail to do that we take His name in vain- calling ourselves Christians but living like we are not. “‘You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain, for the LORD will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.” Deut. 5:11 (NKJV) Our actions, choices and attitudes have bearing on the name we carry.
“Holy Father, Your name is Sacred. You ARE the Great I AM. There is no other like You and Your supremacy is unequaled. I pray that You would give (name) a godly fear and respect of You. Lead (name) in paths of righteousness so that as they bear Your name, they would be righteous (not self-righteous), blameless (not deceiving others or themselves) and authentic in their faith and their convictions. Lord, give (name) perspective that every blessing is from You and for the purpose of serving You and bringing You glory. Strengthen them in their faith, their conviction, and their passion to follow You in the right paths You set before them, in Jesus’ name, amen.”
Pray without ceasing.
H4616 - maʿan - Strong's Hebrew Lexicon (niv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/h4616/niv/wlc/0-1/
The Decay of Sin & The Master Builder
1 John 3:2 “Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is.”
Have you ever taken time to look at an abandoned house…I mean really up close? They can look rather intriguing from a distance. But the closer you get, the more you begin to see the decay. Windows might be broken out, letting the weather inside. And if the weather gets in, everything starts to decay. What once was a beautiful home, filled with love and life, becomes a shell, rotting from the inside out.
It’s kind of like sin. Sin takes a toll, doesn’t it? Oh, we start out sturdy, solid and beautiful, but the effects of steady sin weathers us. Sometimes the choices we make and the lives we choose to live wear us down over time and leave us battered and worn. The inner beauty we once had gives way to rot and ruin. Sin does that to us.
The window in the picture once framed a beautiful room. It protected it from the elements, yet it also let the light in so that the room was filled with the golden rays of the sun. And at night, in the darkness, it shone from the inside out so all could see its warmth and beauty.. But at some point, those living there left. Then, that window broke and what was once a barrier to the elements and a protector of the beauty within no longer worked. Now instead of a beautiful room, the glass is broken and lying on the ground, the curtains are shredded and the room inside is ruined by the elements. The floors and walls are weathered with rain and it is no longer a place of love and shelter.
There are so many analogies we could use. But, suffice it to say, we’re a lot like those houses, aren’t we? Oh, we may only leave our ‘window’ open but a crack, yet the weather of sin gets in and it slowly begins to destroy. It might not be much at first, but after time, it’s catastrophic. Even a small opening is enough for the Enemy to slowly creep in and begin to erode our foundation. Sin ruins. It ruins heavily, destructively and it’s not easily recovered from. We might not see the effects right away- that’s another deception of the Enemy. But the slow, steady influx of sin begins to rot our inner beauty into a dark, joyless heart that is in desperate need of God’s righteousness. Our holiness departs. We squelch the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit and we slowly decay.
Look at the picture again… and look through the window not at the room, but back out the other window to the sky! You can still see the light of day- not darkness! It’s a fresh new day on the other side of that window! You can see hope! You see, despite the decay happening inside, each day there is a new morning that surrounds this house.
Though it would take time and would come at a cost, this window and this room could be restored. God sees through our brokenness and provides redemption and restoration for anyone who asks! You see, God isn’t in the business of ‘redecorating’, He fully rehabilitates and restores. He renovates and brings us back to life. He sees the wreck that we are right now and the beauty that we will be once we allow Him to work in us.
Do you look at your son or daughter and see how their choices have caused damage and decay with the effects of sin? It hurts our hearts because we know what they once were and we long to see that inner beauty restored. But right now, all we can see is how the enemy has wreaked havoc. The disease of sin and selfishness has stripped away the beauty and left a mess. You know they ‘know’ the Truth, yet they’ve chosen to open their lives to everything else, and it shows.
Friends, be brave enough to see through the damage and believe in what God can do! He is the Master Builder! Just as someone who comes along and begins restorative work on that abandoned house, there is hope when God begins to work on us! We only see the house as it is now, but you know the Builder is at work and oh! It will be beautiful again!! Friends, that is how God can restore a life. Pray to that end. Trust in His skill. He’s the Carpenter. He’s the Creator. He’s the Great Physician. He can do artful work on even the most devastated life. He is Faithful and True and what He promises, He will do. “He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”” Revelation 21:5
Prayer for Restoration:
“Father, I pray in Jesus’ name that You would begin a restorative work on (name) today. Lord, bandage their spiritual wounds, clean out the damage in their life. Evict the things that don’t belong, tear out the rot and ruin and rebuild their life to reflect Your glory. I know (name) is made in Your image, but right now, they don’t reflect that. Lord, do a work in them. Renovate their heart. Restore their mind. Holy Spirit, I pray that You would sanctify them to obedience to Jesus Christ (1 Peter 1:2) Lord, bring repentance and follow it with abundant grace and peace. May the joy of the Lord be (name)’s strength. Help (name) to forsake all others and follow You solely, completely, wholeheartedly. Lord, I know that You can do a work unlike anything I could ask or imagine. I pray that You would restore (name) today. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
Prayer for Protection:
Lord, I pray for (name) today. I know they love You, Lord. But I also know that as believers, we are all a target of the Enemy. Lord, I ask that You would do some maintenance on (name) today. Seal up any ‘cracks’ in their character or their life that would allow the enemy to get in and cause destruction. I pray that they would put on the full armor of God: the helmet of salvation to protect their mind from spiritual attack; the shield of faith to deflect the fiery darts of spiritual warfare; the sword of the Spirit to defend against attack; the belt of Truth to guard against deception and lies; the breastplate of righteousness to guard their heart from deception and from temptation that would lure their love away from You; and feet shod with the gospel, so that their life, their words and their actions would be a testimony to others (Ephesians 6:10-18) . Help them to live without compromise and to daily take stock of what they choose to watch, read, and listen to so that nothing sneaks in and begins to weaken and destroy. Lord, I pray that you would guard them from ‘sneak attacks’ by the enemy. Make their foundation solid and their protection sure. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
Do you have a loved one who needs prayer? Feel free to reach out! Leave a comment or send an email. There is an army of sisters in Christ who are ready and willing to pray along with you!
Pray without ceasing, friend. And believe that God can restore a life!