The Power of Forgiveness: breaking the chains that hold us hostage
“But I don’t want to!”
I’ll admit, that was my own response to the Lord when someone offended me. I wasn’t ready to forgive. I had all kinds of reasons to delay forgiveness. I wanted to hold onto the offense, coddle it, and hold it close because I was justified to do so (and others would agree, of course!) There was security and power in holding a grudge. That person wronged me, hurt me, did or said things that were not right. If I forgave them, I would be letting them ‘off the hook’ and that would be wrong…right?
We struggle to do what Jesus asks us because we think that if we forgive, we’re exonerating that person from their offense and we’re removing their accountability for what they’ve done. “Lord, if I forgive them, then they’re getting away with it!” Satan deceives us into that mindset, friends along with the delusion that we have that kind of power. Ultimately, God holds that ‘other’ accountable- He sees and knows. They will stand before Him and answer for what they’ve done. No one gets away with sin. No one. Sometimes the law or the church can successfully bring justice or resolution, but be assured, the offense will not be forgotten, nor will it be dismissed in the eyes of God.
But when it comes to our sons and daughters, our protective parental nature steps up to shield our kids and make sure they’re okay. We will fight for them when they cannot stand for themselves. And we’re even more cautious and hesitant to offer forgiveness because we’re protecting our family and we want justice and to see payment for the offense.
“Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Matthew 18:21
When Peter asked Jesus, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” (Matthew 18:21). I’m sure Peter thought he was being generous and righteous, taking the higher road, to forgive someone seven times was going above and beyond, right?
But Jesus' response turned that around. “Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” (Matthew 18:22)
Why would Jesus say that?
You see, forgiveness is not just for the ‘other’ person. Forgiveness is for us who are offended and who struggle with the injustice of it. Forgiving once isn’t enough because those feelings of injustice, hurt, pain, anger, bitterness and more come flooding back into our hearts in ever increasing waves and begin to put distance between us and God. Oh, we justify it by saying we’re holding that other person accountable. But really, we’re poisoning our own hearts in our quest to justify our hurt and bring accountability to the other. Holding that other person accountable becomes our full time obsession and consumes our thinking, our being and steals our joy.
Studies show that harboring unforgiveness has a physical impact on our bodies.
“Chronic anger puts you into a fight-or-flight mode, which results in numerous changes in heart rate, blood pressure and immune response. Those changes, then, increase the risk of depression, heart disease and diabetes, among other conditions. Forgiveness, however, calms stress levels, leading to improved health.” (1)
Unforgiveness can damage us for life and lead to a premature death. It can be all consuming and ruinous. Why would we allow something to have that much power over us?
The act of forgiveness releases that pain, hurt, and poison. But it’s never a ‘one and done’ act. We need to forgive as many times as it takes for our head and heart to recognize and believe that we can trust GOD to hold that other person accountable and to be confident He will bring justice- it’s not for us to ensure. Oh, if laws were broken and restitution is needed, of course it’s important to engage the legal system. But friends, it’s even more important to engage our hearts with the Lord and surrender to His Lordship. Why would we let someone else’s offense damage our relationship with God? Then their offense becomes doubly-damaging.
It is not our responsibility to be the prosecuting attorney in the courtroom of the Lord. That’s just not our job. Essentially, when we do that, we are putting ourselves in God’s place and friends, that’s idolatry. When we refuse to forgive, we are telling God we don’t trust Him to bring justice and resolution. We question His authority, His power, and His lordship in our lives when we cling to unforgiveness. When we hold onto an offense, it becomes the ‘third wheel’ in the relationship and soon, it becomes the focus and God takes a back seat.
Instead, every time we feel that anger, bitterness, and pain bubble up, we need to say “I forgive them.” Say it out loud, say it in your heart, say it to the Lord, and pray that He would help you feel that forgiveness. We need to continue saying it until we truly feel the forgiveness that releases us from the bondage of bitterness that would damage our communion with the Lord. We need to say it until we are no longer consumed by it.
Jesus told Peter to forgive seventy times seven because He knew how an offense and the resulting bitterness linger and unless we’re willing to give it to the Lord and allow Him to be our avenger, we will become hardened, bitter, and a victim of that offense all over again, and again, and again.
“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” Mark 11:25
Jesus also told Peter, “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” (Mark 11:25). Think about that! Do we want Jesus to forgive us? If so, then we need to forgive others.
Do you ever feel like your prayers are hitting the ceiling but not reaching the Lord? Could it be you need to do some forgiving?
“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” Luke 6:37
Now here’s an important parenting moment….of course our sons and daughters have encountered hurt and offense…how do we advise them? And do we carry a grudge on their behalf?
Oh, friends, when someone wrongs our kids, the “Momma bear” can come out and take over, right? But if we want to be an example of Christ to our sons and daughters, we need to model Jesus to them. Jesus forgave those who crucified Him. Think about that. Jesus forgave those who put Him to death. He knew that He held the ultimate power and that one day those same people would stand before Him…His love for them and His desire to see them know and follow Him as Lord and Savior eclipsed everything else. Would Jesus deny them salvation? No! That was the very reason He was willing to die. And friends, that same Savior who holds ultimate power is the One who lives in us. That same power that raised Him from the dead is the same power that works in us (Ephesians 1:18-20). The same Lord who conquered sin and death is the Lord who is in control of every aspect of our life. Why would we set that aside for the sake of holding onto the sinful attitude of unforgiveness?
Do we have a heart for others that, more than earthly justice and payback to others, wants to see lost people saved? Do we want to see lives changed and surrendered to the Lord or are we clinging to our need for personal justice and accountability at the cost of eternity?
True freedom comes by praying for those who have hurt you. Pray for their heart- that they would find forgiveness and purpose with life in Christ. And pray that Jesus would heal your heart and help you forgive. There is so much freedom in forgiveness. There is joy, there is purpose, and there is a pathway to serving the Lord free from the chains of bitterness and unforgiveness. Satan uses unforgiveness to hold us hostage, but freedom is found in Christ and in the forgiveness He empowers us to embrace.
“Forgive. Seventy times seven and keep forgiving until God grants you the freedom from the bondage of unforgiveness.”
The best thing we can do is to pray.
“Oh, Lord, it’s so hard to surrender control over the situations and people who have hurt me. I know I don’t have the ability to bring justice, to make them pay for their offenses, and to restore what was lost. Yet I’m afraid to let go and forgive because it seems counter-productive and in my mind and heart. In my human mind, forgiveness releases them from being accountable. But Lord, I know You see it and You will take it in hand. Psalm 10:14 reminds me, “But you, God, see the trouble of the afflicted; you consider their grief and take it in hand. The victims commit themselves to you; you are the helper of the fatherless.” I am not Fatherless, Lord, because I have You. I pray that You would see my trouble. See the trouble of (name), my (son/daughter). I ask that You would bring healing and freedom from the pain of the wrong done and from the bitterness and anger that fester. Give us courage and strength to forgive, not just for the other person, but to maintain our relationship with You. Please help us to not allow this to stand in the way of our fellowship with You. So right now, I choose to forgive (name) for what they did and the pain they caused. I forgive them Lord and pray that You would work in their life, bring confession, repentance, and redemption so that (name) would come to know You as Lord and Savior. Help (name) to recognize that hurting others only tightens the chains of bondage that Satan holds over them and to understand that there is boundless spiritual freedom in following Jesus as Lord and. Bring healing and freedom to all of us, Lord. I pray this in Jesus’ name, amen.”
Pray without ceasing.
Forgiveness: Your health depends on it. Johns Hopkins Medicine. (2024, June 20). https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/forgiveness-your-health-depends-on-it
Are you praying for a prodigal? Don’t lose heart. God sees and He hears. Keep laying your burdens in prayer at the feet of Jesus. Trust Him, He is working. You may not see it, but He works in dimensions that are beyond our comprehension. Pray for those friends and associates that interact with your beloved prodigal, that God would use them to bring them to full surrender to Jesus as Lord.
40 Days of Prayer for the Prodigal is a powerful book for anyone deeply in prayer for the heart of their loved one. The book addresses the battle for the heart, mind, and soul of the prodigal through praying Scripture boldly and consistently with faith that God will bring repentance and restoration. Pray the words of Scripture in powerful and effective ways to plead with God about the condition and situation of your beloved prodigal and watch God work!
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Rapture? Millennium? New Earth? What Will Life Be Like?
Recently it’s occurred to me that we spend a lot of time learning about how to live an effective Christian life now… but we pay little attention to what life will be like once this life on earth is through.
So much of our walk with the Lord is built on hope! The hope of heaven, the hope of our inheritance, the hope of living in Christ’s presence. But we spend little time learning about what it is that we are specifically hoping for. That’s concerning. How can our sons and daughters live in the expectation and hope of eternity with God when we spend so little time teaching about it?
We talk about the millennium, but we have little understanding of what we will do. What will our purpose be?
We understand that God will make a new heaven and a new earth and we will live eternally with Him as our Sovereign Lord and King. Yet, if you ask any believer, I guarantee, there would be more questions than answers and most only have a vague idea, at best, of what our life will be like at that point.
It’s no wonder we hear young people say “I do want the Lord to return, but I want Him to wait until… (insert marriage, children, career, travel, etc.) Our sons and daughters lack the longing for being present with Christ because they don’t have a clear picture of HOW it will be better than what they know right now. They’re only told it will be.
If I’m honest, when I was young, I didn’t know much about life beyond that which I knew and experienced to that point. When I thought of heaven, I pictured masses of people, wearing white, standing around in a nondescript cavernous space, singing hymns to the Lord. I mean, don’t get me wrong, who doesn't love a good hymn sing? But for eternity? It just didn’t hold the massive appeal that my parents and older believers said it should. And no one took the time to teach about it. Oh, there was teaching on the Tribulation, for sure, but when we got to Revelation 21 and 22, it was a quick fly-over with few references to the other places in Scripture that described God’s promises. For an extroverted, visual learner, it was a colorless, bland outlook. I struggled with guilt because it was supposed to be what I longed for, yet I didn’t know much about it and it didn’t seem overly exciting.
As I lived my life, I found joy and pleasure in spending a day at the barn and riding a horse through the woods. I communed with the Lord in nature, enjoyed seeing, hearing, feeling all of the wonder of creation while riding and being one with a horse. There was something in that experience that I felt and couldn’t put into words. I enjoyed walking through the woods, exploring, listening to the sounds of the birds and talking to the Lord about my hopes, my burdens, and listening to Him. I loved spending time with friends, especially those who shared my values and convictions, those moments when iron sharpened iron and our friendships were deepened in conversations about the Lord. Could it be that God would give me experiences and pleasures like this in His presence? What was it about eternity that I could really look forward to?
What was it about eternity that I could really look forward to?
Why would God give us a lifetime of doing things we enjoy here, seeing beauty, knowing love, feeling joy and pain, heartache and bliss, only to have an eternity of monotony? He wouldn’t and He won’t!
Oh, dear friend, that’s not what He has planned at all!! This life is a foretaste!! It’s a shadow of what is to come!
“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9
If we have good things here, IMAGINE the good we will enjoy in His presence?!
If we have good things here, IMAGINE the good we will enjoy in His presence?! God gives us continual ‘hints’ of what we will enjoy…are we paying attention?
““For behold, I create new heavens and a new earth; And the former things will not be remembered or come to mind.” “But be glad and rejoice forever in what I create; For behold, I create Jerusalem for rejoicing and her people for gladness.”” Isaiah 65:17-18
Jesus said, “I will go to prepare a place for you.” Jn 12:2 When we invite someone to come and stay, we don’t just welcome them in the door and leave them standing in the entry. No, we bring them in, make them feel welcome, we give them a comfortable place to rest and we entertain them. We have a meal, conversation, and share our lives with them. Jesus is preparing a place for us, just for us! He’s getting ready to welcome us into His home- which will be our home, prepared just for us.
That heavenly banquet…
Will we enjoy food in Heaven? Absolutely!! Our Shepherd will dine with us in the most fabulous feast of perfect foods, delicacies from every culture and land- created by Him for our pleasure!
““I say to you that many will come from east and west, and recline at the table with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven;”” Mt 8:11
Imagine sitting with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob while we enjoy a banquet! Leaning over to ask the Apostle Paul a question, gathering around Jonah to hear what it was really like in the belly of the fish, listening to Daniel recount his hours in the lion’s den, hearing Jesus tell us that He loved us so much He willingly went to the cross to bear our sin- and He would again and again, but once was sufficient for all. Imagine walking hand in hand with Jesus in the fields and meadows of heaven, feeling that nail scar touching our own palm and knowing that if it had not been for His love for us, that scar would be our own and our destiny so different.
Worship is a way of life and will continue to be
But what about work and hobbies? Oh, I believe He will give us joy in working and creating things that bring glory to Him. You see, worship isn’t just going to church on Sunday and singing songs, praying, and learning. Worship is a way of life. Everything you do points to what you value. So if we value Christ, our lives will reflect that in the way we speak, work, play, and rest. It will be reflected in how we interact with others, how we celebrate joy and how we grieve and mourn loss. All of that will be heightened in the presence of Christ- imagine! He will wipe away every tear! Our daily lives will be a living model of worship to the Savior in all that we do, using our gifts, talents, skills, and in our deep fellowship with others who are doing the same!
Then there is His wondrous, glorious creation that awaits us! Imagine, if we enjoy being outdoors now, how much more amazing it will be in the New Earth where there is no corruption of sin, no thorns on roses, no sting in the scorpion or bite from the mosquito?! If nature holds us captive with beauty in a fallen world, how much more will it be in a perfect one?!
“The wolf will live with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the goat, the calf and the lion and the yearling together; and a little child will lead them.
The cow will feed with the bear, their young will lie down together, and the lion will eat straw like the ox.
The infant will play near the cobra’s den, and the young child will put its hand into the viper’s nest.
They will neither harm nor destroy on all my holy mountain, for the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the Lord as the waters cover the sea.” Isaiah 11:6-9
Shalom, once again
The earth will be filled with the knowledge of the Lord!! Everything will be at ‘Shalom’ once again- in perfect harmony with God and in worship and celebration of Him. There will be no coup attempt from the enemy to overthrow the Lordship of Christ because the enemy will be banished forever. We won’t have competing values, or struggles with temptation. We will live as God intended, a return to Eden of sorts, where we will walk and talk with the Lord in the cool of the day and enjoy the work that He gives us in the perfection of His creation. The tree of life will once more be available to us and oh, the sweetness of that fruit! Life-giving, refreshing, and boundless! Ours to enjoy!
“I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God” (Revelation 2:7).
“…On either side of the river was the tree of life, bearing twelve kinds of fruit, yielding its fruit every month;” Rev 22:2
There is so much yet that we need to learn. And there is much we need to encourage our sons and daughters with, even today. Are they truly looking forward to eternity with Christ, or is it just what comes next? Do they have an excitement for life in a sinless world? Do they comprehend what God has in store? Let’s have these conversations! Do we know everything? Of course not, but imagine the joy of discovery as we learn together! It might offer a little taste of heaven that we can enjoy here!
Today, let’s pray that our sons and daughters develop an eternal perspective of what is to come, the joy that is set before us when we step into Christ’s presence and the deep purpose and fulfillment that are promised for eternity in an uncorrupted world where God reigns unchallenged and forever.
“Oh, Father, You hold so much in store for us, yet we don’t understand it and we rarely seek to learn more about it. I pray that You would assure (name) that their eternal inheritance is so full of the very best of everything You create, all that You own, all that You can so generously provide that we will be overflowing with joy, gratitude and fullness in Your Presence. Give them tangible reminders of what You have in store. Assure them that they will have purpose. Remind them of the deep and refreshing fellowship they will enjoy with You and with other believers. Show them the wonders of Your creation here and remind them there is so much more they will see and experience. Open their eyes to see wonderful things in Your word (Ps. 119:18) that would affirm Your promises of what awaits us when we meet You face to face. Lord, we await Your return with anticipation, but please help us to learn and understand more of what we are awaiting! Our minds are so limited and this sinful world is all that we know. Holy Spirit, work in us to understand the things of God more clearly so that this world loses its charm and our hearts and minds long for the next. You are more than we can imagine and how amazing is that, because if we could, it would mean you are limited and small. Oh, great God and Father, thank You for being more than we can grasp and for giving us the promises of greater things! I pray that You would move and work in this generation. Turn their eyes to You. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
If you would like more resources on God’s promises and the hope of Heaven and life beyond the grave, I highly recommend Randy Alcorn’s book Heaven. You can also follow his ministry, Eternal Perspective Ministries. https://www.epm.org/
Pray without ceasing!
Are you praying for a prodigal?
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