Seasons of Parenting
“For everything there is a season,
and a time for every matter under heaven:”
Ecclesiastes 3:1
Changing seasons can be hard, both on the calendar and in life. We find we get comfortable in a season and we want to stay there, enjoying what we know, managing what we’ve become accustomed to, and not wanting change or challenge. Too often, instead of celebrating something new, we grieve the changing of the seasons like there’s been a death and we mourn the end of what was that will never be again.
Parenting exists in seasons as well. Sometimes we fixate on the next season to come (Oh, when they’re finally sleeping through the night… when they’re potty trained…when they go to school) yet we miss the beauty and sacredness of the current season for the longing we have for the next. If we pined for summer when spring barely arrived, we would miss the beauty of new creation blooming from the softening earth, the flowers stretching toward the sunshine and the fresh green leaves unfolding to their full expanse, soaking up the warming rays of sun. There is much beauty in the Spring, in spite of the rainy, muddy, messy weather that often accompanies it.
Each new season brings new discoveries about us and our children. We learn new things about ourselves and we watch in fascination as our children discover the world around them. We encounter pain and loss, but with them come growth and maturity. We learn from mistakes and we watch as our children do as well, and the next time they encounter the challenge, they meet it with greater wisdom and practiced experience. Each new day is a day neither parent or child has lived before, isn’t that comforting? Both enter it as novices and finish it having mastered it as best they could and better prepared to do it again on the next new day. And God, in His graciousness, daily gives us new opportunities and new mercy to continue to learn, grow, and deepen our love for Him.
We watch our children grow up through the seasons and finally set out on their own and we see the autumn of our life creeping up on us, certain that our most vibrant years are fading behind us. But friends, look around you. The autumn season brings some of the most vibrant colors and earthy fragrances that remind us of cozy fires, sweet fellowship, and drawing near for warmth and comfort. Seasons are God’s way of renewing us and growing us in so many ways.
When we look at a tree, the rings inside tell a story. We can see times of growth, times of drought, and even times of fire. Our lives tell the same. The seasons that God leads us through grow us into the mothers and fathers He desires us to be. New growth in the spring often leads to mature fruit that flourishes in the summer. Autumn brings a change of color and each tree seems to become even more individual from the others, showing colors all their own and bursting with the oranges, yellows, reds and golds that shout the glory of God in the autumn sun. The individuality of each tree is more noticeable in the autumn. But then comes winter. The leaves fall off, dried, brown and crunchy or limp under foot. The branches are bare and the bones of the trees are exposed for all to see. There is little beauty in the exposed, brown bark of the winter tree. Yet there is still life inside and a resting and renewal process that is working under the surface, preparing for another season of fruit. Autumn isn’t the harbinger of death, it’s a signal of coming rest and renewal in which God does a deep work under the surface.
That’s how God works in us. We’re not always going to be bearing bushels of fruit 100% of the time. Psalm 1:3 tell us, “He [the man who delights in the Lord] is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers.” Did you catch that? In its season. The Hebrew word is ‘et’ and it means a fit and proper time (1). God doesn’t push us to be fruitful before we’re ready. He prepares us, plants us, waters us, and gives us what we need to be fruitful for Him, as long as we remain rooted in His living water and the Truth of the Word. A tree doesn’t bear fruit right away, sometimes it takes years, the right climate, the right nourishment, and nurturing to help it grow.
We did that for our children, but friends, we need to be mindful of our own nourishment and growth. We need to recognize that just because the ‘nest’ is empty, does not mean our usefulness is complete. If we’re nearing the autumn of our life, there is still much to do and much glory to bring to the Lord! We need to be mindful of setting an example to our sons and daughters that our purpose in life was not simply to raise them, but our purpose was and is to glorify God and enjoy Him throughout every season of our lives.
Though our sons and daughters may be grown and flown, our nest is still useful! Titus 2 tells us that the older women should teach the younger women. Who is teaching our daughters…and whose daughters are we teaching? Men, what example are you setting for your sons and for the sons of others? Now is perfect season to dig deeper into scripture, learn more and grow in your knowledge, understanding, discernment, and love of God and His word. No longer are we consumed with diapers, play dates, sleepless nights and endless laundry. We have a quiet house that lends itself to focused study and prayer, we can be that tree bearing fruit in so many spectacular ways!
“But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.” Titus 2:1-8
How will your ‘colors’ be on display in this autumn season of life? Will you choose to be vibrant and allow the Son to change you into something beautiful? Will you gladly share it with those around you? Why not be intentional to set a beautiful example for the next generation so that they will look forward to their next season of life, seeing that God works through us in each and every season to bring something beautiful that glorifies Him. Seasons are not the ‘end’ but the signal of a new beginning that holds promise and hope. Cling tightly to Jesus and let Him fill you in this season to be all He intends you to be for His glory.
”Lord, God, You are the Lord of the Seasons and each one has purpose and design to accomplish what You will for our lives. I pray that in this season of being a parent to adult children, You would help me to push my roots deeper into You, Your Word, and to pursue Your will authentically and purposefully. I know that until I stand before You, I am not finished here and although my children may be grown, there is more for me to do for You. Help me to see where You are leading. Give me opportunities to serve. Help me to be the Titus 2 man or woman that You desire, speaking truth and life into those who are younger, living out the example of a godly man or woman. Lord, I know there is beauty in every season. Help me not to mourn what is behind, but to look eagerly for what is ahead. You are a God of hope and of new mercy. Help me to live in that each day and embrace what it is You have for me to do. Lord, help me to live for Your glory alone and to celebrate your goodness each day. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
Pray without ceasing.
H6256 - ʿēṯ - Strong's Hebrew Lexicon (esv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/h6256/esv/wlc/0-1/
Praying for Evidence
Just because someone says something is true, does not make it so. Anyone can make a claim, but without evidence, it’s just that, a claim, the proof remains to be seen. That’s where evidence comes in. Evidence is what backs up a claim and proves it to be true. We see this in the process of a legal trial. Any claim brought in court must be backed up by evidence or it’s dismissed for failure to prove its truth. The judge looks for the burden of truth.
Here’s another way to look at it. We may say that we believe in the power of exercise. We can follow ‘all the influencers’. We can save insta-videos and articles. We can talk the talk, but if we don’t actually exercise, there is no evidence that it’s working a change in us. When others watch us, they won’t see us out walking, lifting, running, or stretching. Our claim in the life-changing power of exercise in our life and our belief that it works is just that, a claim. There is no evidence if we don’t live it out. Our words are unsupported.
3 John 1:4 “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.”
As parents, we feel the weight of wanting our sons and daughters to have a genuine walk with the Lord, fully surrendered and obedient to Him. We want those whom we love and treasure to not just know about Jesus, but to have a life-changing relationship with Him. And a life that is surrendered will be a life that produces evidence of Who they worship and follow, of Who they prioritize and desire to please. We long to see evidence and know with assurance that the burden of proof is present and their eternity is secure.
Matthew 7:7 “Ask, and it will be given to you;”
That word, ‘ask’, is the word ‘aiteo’ in Greek and it means to “ask, beg, call for, crave, desire, require.” 1
We need to ask the Lord- beg, call for, crave, desire and require- that He would let the life of our loved one exhibit the fruit of a sincere and active relationship with Him. If we’ve raised our sons and daughters in the knowledge of the Lord, teaching them Scriptural truth in the power and Presence of God, the saving grace and mercy of Jesus Christ, the effective advocacy and teaching of the Holy Spirit, they know. They know. They have the words to speak…But knowledge is not evidence of the working of Christ in their heart and mind. Life-changing faith is manifested in everything we say AND do'; it is the evidence of the change and the proof that backs up the claim that we are changed and that we follow Christ.
James 2:14 “What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them?”
Deeds won’t save us. By themselves, they are an empty effort to prove ourselves worthy. If we pursue and rely on good deeds, alone, we make ourselves our own god - trying to effect our salvation through our good works. But deeds, supported by our faith in Christ, are evidence that our life is changed, that it’s surrendered to and guided by Someone greater than we. We’re not doing good deeds for our own benefit, but because we are compelled by the love of Christ toward others. We can’t not do what God compels us to…and we find joy in it!
Hebrews 11:17-19 “By faith Abraham, when God tested him, offered Isaac as a sacrifice. He who had embraced the promises was about to sacrifice his one and only son, even though God had said to him, “It is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned.” Abraham reasoned that God could even raise the dead, and so in a manner of speaking he did receive Isaac back from death.”
Abraham was willing to obey God in whatever God asked of him, because He knew God. He trusted Him. He believed that if God asked him to do it, there was reason for it and God would redeem it in ways only He could and for His glory. Abraham saw evidence of God’s goodness and faithfulness in his life that bolstered his faith and gave him confidence that God’s promises were not just a claim, but were true and faithful. And Abraham’s obedience wasn’t in word only. His actions provided evidence for the faith he claimed. His actions were the proclamation. Abraham set an example for all of us in faith and obedience.
James 2:21-22 “Was not our father Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did.”
Today, let’s begin praying that the Lord would reveal evidence of the faith of our children. Pray that their faith would truly be their own, not just what they’ve been taught and what they’ve heard. Pray they would give of themselves to be the hands and feet of Jesus to others. And pray that they would not just have head knowledge, but that their understanding of Scripture and their experience of God’s faithfulness in their life would transform their life and would be evident to those around them.
“Heavenly Father, oh how I want to see evidence of (name)’s faith. I ask, not because I’m deserving, Lord, but because I crave to see that (name) is authentically following after You. I yearn to see genuine fruit showing others that they know You, not just because it is what we taught them, but because it is what they believe themselves.”
“Strengthen (name) with deep conviction to be obedient to You when You ask them to do hard things. Increase their faith to trust You without wavering. Open (name)’s eyes to see what You are doing, how you are protecting and providing, and how You are answering their prayers, even those unspoken. Father, I pray they would have the faith of Abraham, the love of God as David did, nurture in them the fervent heart of Hannah and the boldness of Abigail. Lord, You provided so many examples of faith- may (name) be someone You would write about whose faith would be evidence through their actions, choices, and words and who would inspire others to follow Jesus in the midst of this dark world. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.”
Pray without ceasing.
G154 - aiteō - Strong's Greek Lexicon (esv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g154/esv/mgnt/0-1/
What Kind of Knowledge?
2 Peter 1:2-4 “Grace and peace by yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord. His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.”
Wow! Those two verses are packed with rich truth and promises, aren’t they? Sometimes we plow into scripture and we’re focused on the quantity we consume, telling ourselves the more we read, the better. And, while in the big picture, that’s true- God wants us to spend time in His Word and not just ‘taste test’ but consume it cover to cover, He wants us to truly savor the richness of His Word as well. When we slow down and really dig into what scripture is saying, we often find a depth and richness there that we wouldn’t by just reading through to check off our progress.
Today’s verses have so much we can pray through for our sons and daughters. Let’s take a look!
Did you know that in 2 Peter chapter 1, the word ‘knowledge’ is used 5 times!! And here’s the thing we need to pay attention to -it’s not always the same word. Oh, in English it’s the same, but in the original Greek, there are two words for knowledge that are used. That’s important! Verses 2, 3 and 8 use the word ‘epignosis’. Verses 5 and 6 use the word ‘gnosis’. So, what’s the difference?
Epignosis is the knowledge that is distinguished by recognition (1). It’s indicative of a relationship. It comes from a root word, epignosko which means “thoroughly acquainted with” (2) and another word ginosko, which means “to become known” to be recognized by someone (3). This is not just ‘informational’ knowledge, it’s relational knowledge - a true knowing of someone who also knows you. It’s not knowing about someone and it’s not based on information and facts. It’s relational and experiential. It’s deep and personal.
Gnosis is a knowledge about and of something, an understanding and general intelligence of that person or thing (4). It’s the knowledge of the ‘culture’ of something- knowing the rules and the ‘lingo’, but gnosis does not indicate a relationship.
Do you see the difference?
There are many people with ‘gnosis’ of Christianity. They know the words to say and have an understanding of the expected conduct. Their words and actions may reflect the culture of Christianity, but they lack the ‘epignosis’, the relationship with Jesus.
2 Peter 1:2-4 explains the benefits we receive and enjoy because of our epignosis- our relationship with Jesus.
Grace and peace in abundance
Everything we need for life and godliness
Called by His own glory and goodness
Great and precious promises
The right and privilege to partake in the divine nature
Protection and preservation to escape corruption caused by evil desires.
Friends, that list is a powerful one and those benefits come because of the relationship with Jesus, not because we understand the culture and have the head knowledge of Scripture.
Someone can say they know the Queen of England. They might know her name, where she lives, what her favorite things are, the names of her family members, her accomplishments throughout her lifetime. But, if the Queen stepped into the room and that individual was there, would she recognize them? No, of course not. Why? Because they have no relationship with the Queen, they’ve never met. Knowing about someone isn’t the same as knowing them.
Oh, how we want our sons and daughters to have grace and peace in abundance and everything they need for life and godliness! We want that assurance that they’ve been called by God to enjoy His promises and be protected against the enemy and the ravages of sin. We want to know that they KNOW Jesus personally. The heart knowledge has to be there before the head knowledge is truly effective and life-changing.
Today, let’s pray that our sons and daughters have ‘epignosis’ of Jesus. A true recognition and experiential knowledge because they walk in relationship with Him. Pray that they are ‘epignosko’, thoroughly acquainted with Him and know Him well, recognizing Him in all things, seeing Him at work in their life and that they enjoy ‘ginosko’, being recognized by God as one of His own children because of their relationship with Him
“Father God, I’m so grateful I can call You my Father. You see me and know me as your child. What a beautiful relationship! Lord, I pray today that (name) would step into a faithful, life-changing relationship with You. Lord, impress on their heart a deep need to know you more- not just ‘facts’ and ‘rules’ but a true growing relationship that is transformative. Holy Spirit, I pray that You would stir a hunger and thirst in (name)’s heart today. Convict them of sin. Create a desire to know You more. Let the ‘trappings’ of religion fall away. This is not about rules and good deeds. It’s about knowing Jesus personally as Lord and Savior and pursuing a real relationship with the One True Sovereign God. Please let (name) embrace and enjoy that relationship with You today. Lord, give them your abundant grace and peace. Set them in fellowship with other believers and help them learn Your Truth that will protect them and produce godliness in them. Remind them of your great and precious promises that are unbounded by time and borders, faithful throughout history and unmoved by the plans of men. Lord, I pray for your holy protection and preservation over their life that they would, through authentic relationship with You, be counted worthy to escape temptation and corruption by evil desires and the influence of the enemy. I pray that You would move and work in their heart and mind today. Call them to faithfully follow You. Help them to understand that knowing ‘about’ you isn’t the same as truly being in a relationship with You. Let them crave Jesus, in His name, amen.”
Take time to memorize 2 Peter 1:2-4 “Grace and peace by yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord. His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.”
Pray without ceasing.
G1922 - epignōsis - Strong's Greek Lexicon (kjv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g1922/kjv/tr/0-1/
G1921 - epiginōskō - Strong's Greek Lexicon (kjv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g1921/kjv/tr/0-1/
G1097 - ginōskō - Strong's Greek Lexicon (kjv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g1097/kjv/tr/0-1/
G1108 - gnōsis - Strong's Greek Lexicon (niv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g1108/niv/tr/0-1/