Identity Crisis…Who are You?

What is your identity? What defines you? It’s a question that many of us ponder and one that young people today wrestle with in so many ways. 

When someone asks, “Who are you?” It's a question of identity, value, purpose, and belonging. We should not typically answer that with “I’m a teacher” or “I’m an engineer” because those answers tell what we do, but not who we are. But far too often, we may find ourselves identifying ourselves by what we do and finding our identity and value in that. It’s an easy trap and one the enemy likes to weave for us. We begin to align our value by our productivity and by how useful we are to others. Yet, that’s not how God values us.

“You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:6-8

What this world teaches us about our value is so warped and our sons and daughters (and we) too often fall into the trap of defining ourselves and our value by what we do and produce. But God doesn’t love us because of what we can do for Him. He didn’t choose us because we had something of value He could use. He didn’t redeem us because we showed promise or would be a great addition to the “team”. None of us was the strongest player, most engaging speaker, most diligent student or highest producer. We were wretched, ungodly, lost sinners. And while we were still sinners, filthy in our faults, our failures, our poverty of character, He chose us, died for us, and set us apart for His own. 

Our value is not in what we do, it is in who we are and Whose we are. 

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself.” 2 Corinthians 5:17-18a

It’s easy to get caught up in our jobs, our ministry, our hobbies, and begin to make that our identity, especially if we’re good at it and hear words of affirmation telling us so. We begin to align our worth with our production, our position, our vocation or career goals and accomplishments. But God is not interested in a performative relationship where we excel and He loves us for it. No, He loves us because we are made in His image. We did nothing to earn this love. Yet we benefit from it in so many ways. 

1 John 4:10, “This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.”

A job loss, a market shift, a debilitating illness or accident can happen suddenly and those things which we believed gave us value suddenly disappear and if we’re not careful, our estimation of our value shifts or diminishes.

What we thought gave us value and purpose is no longer present and we risk spiraling into defeat, lack of purpose, and feeling worthless. God never intended us to find our value and purpose in what we do, but to find our value and purpose in Him and express that through what we do, demonstrating to others the joy of the Lord and the purpose and value He gives us when we walk faithfully with Him.

“We serve God whether people honor us or despise us, whether they slander us or praise us.” 2 Corinthians 6:8a (NLT) 

When we find our identity in Christ we have a secure (Psalm 16:5), unchangeable (Hebrews 13:8), and perfect identity as His child (1 John 5:1), His beloved (Colossians 3:12), the one in whom He delights and rejoices over with singing (Zephaniah 3:17). THAT is a powerful identity!  

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”  Matthew 6:33

When we seek His kingdom first, we are setting our priorities according to God’s will and focusing on things of eternal value, not things that are temporary, flawed, and unpredictable. We begin to understand who we are and what our purpose is. This world WILL pass away, yet we are created to be eternal and our home is with Him in His kingdom. 

“This, then, is how you should pray: “ ‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” Matthew 6:9-10

Today, let’s pray for our sons and daughters, first that they would seek God’s kingdom before anything else. Next, pray that they would understand their identity in light of Jesus' love, sacrifice, and purpose for them. Pray they would have an eternal mindset and not get distracted by status, wealth, and things of this world. Ask God to bind the enemy and keep him from interfering or distracting them from understanding who they are in Christ and the purpose He has for them.

“Our Father in Heaven, Your name is holy. I pray that Your kingdom would come so that both earth and heaven would be set at one again under Your authority and reign- a shalom of Your creation as you intended. Lord, I pray that (name) would desire that most of all- to see You reign and every knee bow and tongue confess that Jesus is Lord. If that is not our heart’s desire, change our hearts. I pray that (name) would always seek Your kingdom first. Help them to know and understand they are Your child, You love them and have a purpose for them. This world is not their home, nor is it where they should find their purpose and value. But, Father, when that is what we’re surrounded by and all that we know, it’s difficult to not fall into the habits and traps of valuing ourselves and finding our identity in what this world says is important and purposeful. Father, I pray that You would interrupt (name)’s thoughts today. Shift their heart desires to You. Turn their eyes away from worthless things. Give them a deep understanding of their value and purpose in Christ. Define their identity according to Your will and Your Word. Remind them that this world is temporary and give them a longing to be in Your presence and to worship and serve You alone. Lord, work in all of our hearts and make us more like Christ, in Jesus’ name I pray, amen.”

Pray without ceasing.

Are you praying for a prodigal? Oh the heartache and heaviness of battling in prayer for one who needs to return to Jesus! Yet, you’re praying to the One who made their heart and knows it completely. 40 Days of Prayer for the Prodigal is a great Bible-based resource to guide your prayer journey and bring you closer to the Lord with each passing day. Get your copy today and transform your prayer life in significant ways!

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Do You Want More than Just the “Motions” of Prayer?

Here at Join the PAC Prayer we cover topics of prayer and encouragement that help us pray effectively for our adult children and other loved ones. We talk about the ‘stuff of life’, the heartaches, the joys, the dangers, and the eternal truths that God reminds us of in His word. 

But it’s good to stop and think about the process of prayer, too. We often focus on what we are praying, but do we think about howwe are praying? How are we approaching God? What is our heart posture? What is our mindset? What is our purpose in prayer?

Prayer Traps

Recently I watched a bit of The Master’s golf tournament. I’m not a big of golf, but it was intriguing. The players are so skilled. But even with all their ability and experience, several of them hit their golf ball and it veered off in a direction they didn’t want it to go and they ended up in a sand trap. They were stuck and had to take more strokes to get to the hole. It became a diversion to the goal.

As we pray, we can find ourselves in ‘prayer traps’ that redirect our prayers and our attention and our hearts to those things that are not productive or God-honoring. We run the risk of saying empty words and just going through the motions.

One-sided prayer:

Have you ever had a conversation with someone who does all the talking, doesn’t take time to ask about you or listen to what is important in your life, and then finishes the conversation and goes off as if all is good. You’re left feeling unimportant, unheard, and kind of used. 

When we only approach God for our needs and wants without addressing Him, glorifying and worshipping Him, and listening to Him, we are really having a one-sided conversation that fails to step into the fullness of prayer. Prayer is a sweet communion between us and God. We shouldn’t cheat ourselves out of the blessing of hearing from God and worshipping His greatness.

“‘These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.”

Matthew 15:8

Expecting Quick Delivery:

Too often we fall into a pattern of treating prayer like a fast-food drive through. We pull up, place our order and then wait (impatiently) for our order to be handed to us in a matter of moments or, at the least, days. It becomes impersonal and selfish. We asked for it, God should deliver it, right? 

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance

about what we do not see.”

Hebrews 11:1 

God proves His faithfulness over and over. Sometimes He takes us to the brink only to show His greatness in ways that will crush any doubt and fill our hearts with unwavering commitment to Him.

God could have delivered the Israelites after one plague, but He didn’t. But why? He knew we needed the testimony and power of ten plagues in the process of God’s deliverance. He wanted a powerful story that would last for thousands of years and be recounted through generations to remind His children of His goodness, protection, and deliverance.   He wanted us to have every Red Sea, manna from heaven, water from the rock moment to bolster our faith and remind us of His faithfulness, His power, His plan.

Without the testimony of God’s powerful deliverance, we would be spoiled believers who use God for our own means rather than being surrendered believers, relying on Him for our every breath and life.

An Attitude of “Deserving”:

Another trap we fall into is the ‘deserving’ trap. We buy into the performative posture. Because we ‘do’, we ‘deserve’. We view our value to God based on what we accomplish for Him- teaching Sunday School, evangelizing, leading worship, writing a blog or speaking to gatherings, the list goes on. But God wants relationships, not performance. He wants authenticity, not production. He doesn’t redeem us so we can be producers, He redeems us so we can worship Him and be in fellowship with Him.

“He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done,

but because of His mercy.”

Titus 3:5a

We are God’s family, not His employees. When we talk to God, He wants us to approach Him as our Father, not our HR rep. Begin with a mindset that fully understands the depth of mercy He’s lavished on us. That changes our mindset, our posture, our heart. We were devastatingly lost in our sin, yet He died for us to redeem us. He loved us in even when we were in our detestable state of sin, drowning in darkness, unworthy, without merit, and without hope.

Are we deserving? No. Is He gracious and merciful? Absolutely. Remember that as you approach Him in prayer.

A Pattern for Prayer

King David gives us a great pattern for prayer throughout the Psalms. Is this the only way to pray? No, but it’s a great example and actually one that Jesus followed in the Lord’s prayer. Let’s take a look:

First, exalt God.

“I will bless the LORD at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul will make its boast in the LORD; the humble will hear it and rejoice. O magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt His name together.”

Psalm 34:1-3

Before you ask for anything, focus on God’s character and nature. Spend time in worship and praise of Who He is. Set your heart and mind in the right posture to begin an authentic, effective conversation with the Almighty. He already knows what you will ask and what weighs heavily on your heart. Don’t rush into the requests. Take time to rest in Who He is. Don’t simply be a consumer.

“Ascribe to the LORD, O families of nations, ascribe to the LORD glory and strength. Ascribe to the LORD the glory due His name; bring an offering and come into His courts.”

Psalm 96:7-8

Recall His works and wonders.

“Come and hear, all who fear God, and I will tell of what He has done for my soul.”

Psalm 66:16

Thank Him for the Red Sea rescue, for the widow’s oil that didn’t run out, for being the God who stood and triumphed against the hundred prophets of Baal, the God who healed leprosy, crippled legs, blind eyes and deaf ears, the God who defeated death and paid for sin with His own life. Record those miracles and wonders from scripture so you have a go-to list to remind yourself of His power and provision. List the amazing things God’s done for you and shown you and thank Him for them. Remind yourself of His greatness and provision. It sets the tone for your upcoming requests and reminds you that nothing is too hard for Him. He sees. He hears. He acts. Believe Him.

“LORD, I have heard of your fame; I stand in awe of your deeds, LORD. Repeat them in our day, in our time make them known; in wrath remember mercy.”

Habakkuk 3:2

Surrender yourself to Him, ensure your heart is right.

Confess any lingering sin or offense. Scripture tells us again and again that our heart condition is important to God.

“If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened;”

Psalm 66:18

If we want effective communion with the Lord, we need to ensure there is nothing that stands between us and Him.

“The LORD is far from the wicked, but he hears the prayer of the righteous.”

Proverbs 15:29

Humble yourself before the Lord. Allow Him to reveal what needs to be confessed. Let Him show you if there are idols that need to be displaced. Ask Him to soften your heart and make it right with Him.

“For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

1 Peter 3:12

Pray

Pour out your heart to the One Who created you.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”

Philippians 4:6

Throughout Scripture there are many different descriptions of prayer from crying out to quietly meditating. Prayer can be shouting in grief or joy, and interceding for ourselves and others. There is no ‘right’ volume or words. When we pray, we step past the veil into a spiritual realm that we cannot see but our spirits understand and where Jesus is our High Priest. He advocates for us in ways that no other will. He loves us. He protects us. He provides. Take time to dwell in that space and enjoy His presence.

Wait in hope

God always answers. Always. But His timing does not match our own. He exists outside of time and space and He holds all of history that has been and is yet to come in His scope as He works. Everything He does is interwoven with Who He is and with His plan for mankind. Trust His work.

“I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope.”

Psalm 130:5 

When we had children, it wasn’t simply to ‘get a child’ but to grow that relationship, watch how they learned, explored, and deepened their understanding of themselves, their family, and the world. The answer to our prayer for a child wasn’t just in the delivery (whether by birth or adoption) but in the unfolding of the whole experience of parenthood. 

Prayer is similar. We should not just be there for the answer, but for the unfolding of the process and how it grows us. Waiting in hope deepens our faith. It shows us the depths of God’s love, care, and faithfulness- His ‘hesed’ (Hebrew). Hesed is God’s covenant faithfulness, His powerful merciful kindness that has our best at the heart of His work and His ways. Everything God does is ultimately pointed toward His will and plan to bring everything under His authority and rule, to bring Shalom- to set everything at one again, a step back to the garden before the fall. As you wait, remind yourself of the words “shalom” and “hesed”.  There is purpose in the waiting. Don’t let your impatience and your longing overshadow His work.

Journal

How often do we hear or experience something and say “That’s something I’ll never forget!”, and yet, we do forget. Those powerful examples that God gives us often become dim or clouded when we’re desperate, struggling, longing for an answer. Journaling is a testament not only to ourselves, but to those who follow. It is a legacy of faith that attests to what God has done and how we learned to follow after Him. Because, if we’re honest, though we pray for answers to our prayers, our deepest longing is more of Him. When we stand in eternity, we won’t cling to that car, that job, that friend or family member, we will cling to Jesus and praise Him. 

“We have heard with our ears, O God; our fathers have told us what You did in their days, in days long ago. It was not with their sword that they won the land, nor did their arm bring them victory; it was Your right hand, Your arm, for you loved them.”

Psalm 44:2-3

We want to ensure we leave a Godly heritage for our children and pass along generational blessings. What a treasure to have a record of what God did in a life!

“But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD’s love is with those who fear Him, and His righteousness with their children’s children—with those who keep His covenant and remember to obey His precepts.”

Psalm 103:17-18

Prayer is a beautiful, powerful communion with God that can take you deeper into fellowship with Him and strengthen your faith. There is no ‘perfect’ way to pray. God just wants to talk with you. Step into that conversation and listen for His voice.

I’ve created a printable you can use for this format of prayer. There are two versions, fancy or plain. Feel free to print them and share them. My prayer is that it will help you grow in your prayer life and deepen and enrich your time with the Lord. 

Pray without ceasing, friends!

A Phone Call in the Night

“It was a dark and stormy night.” 

Last Thursday night was truly a dark and stormy night. Spring weather in the midwest USA can be tumultuous and unpredictable.  My husband and I sat watching the weather reports as storms moved into our area and severe cells began showing rotation with potential for tornadoes. As many midwesterners would understand, we made sure we had our shoes on in case we needed to make a run for the tornado shelter. My 10pm bedtime came and went and I was still awake. Then my phone rang. It was our youngest daughter. Her voice was a little hard to hear as she said “I was on my way home on the highway and got hit.” It was her birthday and she’d driven to the city to meet friends for the evening and to celebrate turning 24. She sounded shaken and uncertain with traffic noise in the background and rain pouring down.

As a mom, my mind raced through all the things, “where is she?”, “is she okay?” “what do we need to do?” She said she was alright but needed a ride home because her car wasn’t driveable. That brought more concern, how ‘not driveable’ was it?  We sprang up from our seats, concern over the weather now a distant thought. We grabbed our wallets and headed to the car- thinking enough to grab a raincoat and a coat for our daughter as well. We prayed as we got onto the road that the Lord would keep her safe, protect her from harm, give us clear travel and hold off the weather. “Lord, protect her life.”

She was nearly 40 miles away, in a limited access construction zone that was only accessible by exiting the highway and getting into the westbound lanes and waiting in the miles-long backup caused by the accident. We were told to pull up to the accident site, on the highway, in the midst of the chaos. As we crawled through the traffic, our patience was tested. All I wanted to do was see my girl, affirm to my own eyes that she was okay. After what seemed like forever, we finally saw the emergency lights and made our way up to the accident. As soon as we stopped I jumped out and saw her walking toward me, safe and well. Praise God! I looked around and saw a semi truck, a flatbed tow truck and then, I saw the car…or what was left of it. 

It was in that moment that God showed me the power of prayer and that our prayers are never wasted, never unheard, never pointless. My daughter was whole and unharmed save some bruises and sore muscles. The Lord guarded her life in so many ways.

Sometimes we may wonder what effect our prayers actually have- does God even hear us? Does He really respond? Then God gives us a glimpse of His working. He does hear and He sees our love for our children and He loves them too. He is always watching over them.

The officer in charge smiled kindly and told us there was nothing more we needed to do and the car would be towed to a local wrecking yard. We got back into our car, made our way back into the flow of traffic and began the trip home. 

The story unfolded as we drove home, she was the second car in a 4 vehicle chain reaction crash, the first and last vehicles being semi trucks. She had plenty of room as the truck in front of her braked fast and hard, and the tow truck behind her did as well, but the semi truck at the rear of the line couldn’t stop and plowed into the tow truck who then hit our daughter’s car and pushed her into the front semi. As we listened we understood even more how God protected her life. 

The days that followed brought more details and then a visit to the wrecking yard to gather her belongings. When we asked how the car looked in the daylight all she responded was, “Bad, bad, bad.” We recognized the goodness of God, yet again. The car was so beyond repair, but it did what it was designed to do- it saved her life in a crash. She is a living, walking testimony of the goodness and protection of the Lord (and the wise design of Toyota- thank you!)

It’s amazing, (but not surprising) to see how God aligns His messages and His word to everyday life. I’ve been studying 1 Samuel and this week’s lesson had me read 1 Samuel 25 and one verse jumped out at me because it was such a beautiful picture of God’s protection. I Samuel 25:29, “If men rise up to pursue you and to seek your life, the life of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of the living in the care of the LORD your God. And the lives of your enemies he shall sling out as from the hollow of a sling.”

The backstory to that verse is that David was being pursued by Saul, the King of Israel. Saul wanted to kill David. All of Saul’s men, his loyal followers, were part of the pursuit. David was on the run, cut off from connection with his family, from fellowship, sacrifice and offering at the tabernacle. He was exiled and hunted.  His life was in danger on every side. 

The enemy had an agenda…you see if David was destroyed, the line of David would be erased and the Messiah would be thwarted (or so Satan thought). There was much at stake that even David didn’t recognize, but his heart was tender to God. David had to surrender himself to God’s plan and trust His protection. He was in the storm, on the run, but he trusted that God had a plan. He was God’s anointed.

In 1 Samuel 25, Abigail reminded David of the Source of his protection. She said, “If men rise up to pursue you and to seek your life, the life of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of the living in the care of the LORD your God. And the lives of your enemies he shall sling out as from the hollow of a sling.” 1 Samuel 25:29

That line resonated with me, “The life of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of the living in the care of the LORD your God.” There is so much that pursues our sons and daughters. The enemy wants to incapacitate them, he wants to eliminate their influence, diminish or remove their testimony, and snuff out their potential. He wants to keep them from the mission God has established and he wants to poison their fruit.

David could have been distracted by the others around him, by the difficult circumstances, by pride, by hardship, but he kept His focus on God and God sent others to remind him of his purpose and to protect his integrity.

So often situations in life mirror our spiritual walk. As our daughter drove on the highway, she could have been distracted by the other drivers going too fast in that construction zone. She could have been consumed by her thoughts, worries, or even fiddling with the ‘entertainment’ in the car. But instead she stayed focused on what was ahead of her. She was mindful of the storm outside. She stayed in her lane, not wandering back and forth. She remained steady to what she knew would keep her safe if the unthinkable began to unfold. Are our sons and daughters mindful of the storm? Are they cautious of those around them who might cause them to ‘crash’? Are they taking care to ensure they are following the Lord and not wandering or veering off the narrow road?

We can raise our sons and daughters with caution and care. We can do our best to protect them from negative influences. We can do all the things to ensure their life is protected (we can put them in the safest car.) But there is nothing more powerful we can do than to ask the Lord to surround them and hold them close. When we ask God to bind them in the bundle of the living in the care of the Lord our God, the omnipotent One whose ways and will cannot be thwarted, we are protecting them in the strongest way. When God does that, they are held securely by Him, held closely to Himself, for safe-keeping. Nothing can touch them out of His will. I love that symbolism. Ponder that for a moment. 

Our daughter was bound in the bundle of the living in the care of the Lord our God. That is what preserved her life. God has a purpose for her. He chose, on her 24th birthday, to give her life again. He has a plan. All of our efforts mean nothing if He is not in it. Had the semi truck been going faster, had the tow truck been even closer, had the first semi not begun moving before the initial crash, we could be grieving a much different outcome. But our sweet girl was bound in the bundle of the living in the care of the Lord our God.

I ask for nothing better for my sons and daughters- Lord bind them close to You!  Today, you should pray the same. Trust God for the care of your children. Trust that He has a plan that outsmarts the enemy, outmaneuvers the obstacles of this world, and surrounds them with spiritual and physical protection that is far beyond what we could generate or orchestrate. God is mighty. His protection is invincible. He has a plan and we need to trust Him.

“Heavenly Father, thank You for Your powerful hand of protection over my children. Your mercy is more than we deserve and you give it to us daily, new every morning. I pray that You would remind me daily of Your guiding hand and open my eyes to see Your kindness, Your goodness, Your powerful protection each and every day. I pray, too, that (name) would recognize Your hand in their life. Help them to see that not a moment, not a breath is guaranteed and each is a gift from You in line with Your plan for their life. I know You have a plan, Lord. I trust that You will protect and preserve (name) so they will be able to fulfill what You have for them to do. Help them to be surrendered to You and obedient to Your will. Keep them walking faithfully with you, not straying to the left or the right. Protect them from others who would influence the in the wrong ways. Remove distractions that would take their focus off of You. Lord, there is nothing better I can do to keep them from harm than to give them to You and trust Your shield about them. Help us, as parents, to give our sons and daughters to You. Take away our fear. Free us from worry that consumes our thoughts and keeps us from fully trusting You. Remind us of Your omnipotent power. You are the Lord of the storm-both physical and spiritual. Be our shelter and our safe place. Guard and guide us. Keep us in the center of Your will and under the shadow of Your wings. Bind (name) in the bundle of the living in Your care, oh LORD my God. Show Yourself powerful to protect and preserve (name) today and in the days ahead, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

Does God Even Hear Me?

“I cried out to God for help;  I cried out to God to hear me. When I was in distress, I sought the Lord; at night I stretched out untiring hands, and I would not be comforted.” Psalm 77:1-2

Are there days when you wonder if God is listening? You’ve been praying desperately and faithfully, yet nothing seems to change.  Or maybe you’re convinced He’s stopped listening altogether, that He’s turned a deaf ear to your pleas. Maybe He’s tired of hearing from you. You pray, but it seems to go nowhere. You wait and wonder. You long for a sign, a response, a glimmer of hope. But everything is quiet.

When we desperately pray, we look for any sign, any movement, that will show us God hears us and is working. Yet that time of waiting can be dark and lonely. It can be disheartening to be looking for a response and not hearing anything. We get anxious. We get impatient. And we get frustrated with God. We don’t see things as He does, we can’t see His plan, and trusting grows more difficult as the wait stretches out before us. How long, Lord?

It is in those dark, silent times that the enemy begins to weave his lies. We hear things like, “God isn’t listening” and “God doesn’t really care.” We begin to believe the lies that God is too busy to attend to our prayers and that our needs are not important to Him. And if a lie is repeated often enough, it is believed, it is embraced, it becomes truth to us. The enemy will do whatever he can to pull our eyes away from God and fill us with regret, despair, and heartache. We begin to fall for the lies and we doubt God will answer.

That’s why, when we’re longing for answers and seeking responses from God, we must remind ourselves of what is true. God is faithful. God is Sovereign. God is merciful. God will work justice for the oppressed. There are so many reminders of our Almighty, Sovereign God and His attributes and His ways. There are so many examples of answered prayers we can point to. We need only begin to read the Psalms to see all that He is and does. 

Psalm 77 is a beautiful and powerful account of someone in just this situation. The Psalm begins at a place of questioning God in despair.

“Will the Lord reject forever? Will he never show his favor again? Has his unfailing love vanished forever? Has his promise failed for all time? Has God forgotten to be merciful? Has he in anger withheld his compassion?” Psalm 77:7-9

The psalmist is wrestling in his heart and mind with grief, trauma, and desperation. He is asking all of those questions that we ask too- has God forgotten to be merciful? Has His love vanished? Although we KNOW the right answers to these questions- our heart and mind wrestle with these thoughts as we desperately cry out to God.

We need to ask ourselves, where are we turning for help? Are we seeking answers that make sense in a time-bound world and to a human mind with limited understanding? Or are we seeking the One who always was, is and is to come? Are we truly trusting the One who is not bound by time or space and has unlimited resources at His disposal? Are we resting in the One whose plans are eternal; the One who knows our heart intimately and  has plans for our life that are for our good and His glory.

How can we battle the desperation and loneliness that consume us when we’re pleading with God for deliverance and waiting for His response? How can we fight the feelings of being forgotten and forsaken when it seems like nothing is happening?

When we’re discouraged and defeated, we tend to look at our circumstances and gauge God’s love for us by what is happening to us and around us.

The psalmist, in his despair, knew what he needed to remind himself of…. 

“Then I thought, “To this I will appeal: the years when the Most High stretched out his right hand. I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will consider all your works and meditate on all your mighty deeds. Your ways, God, are holy. What god is as great as our God? You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples.” Psalm 77:10-14

When we’re discouraged and defeated, we tend to look at our circumstances and gauge God’s love for us by what is happening to us and around us. But God calls us to look to His faithfulness, His power, His greatness as the reminder we need to assure us that He is still in control and nothing is too hard for Him.

When you’re struggling, ask yourself these questions:

1. How has God provided for and protected me in my life? Look back through the years and remember God’s faithfulness.

2. What evidence of God’s Presence and goodness have you seen today? Did you wake up? That’s a start!

3. Is there any other god that supersedes our God? Go on, consider that. There is none. That alone should give you pause and encouragement. Only one God ever died for the sins of humanity and that One is the singular God who rose from the dead, conquering death and hell, and is now seated at the right hand of the Father. All powers and authorities bow to Him. There is no power, no circumstance, no misfortune, and no enemy that can override His will and His authority.

4. List miracles that you’ve learned about in Scripture and miracles and answers to prayer you’ve experienced in your life prior to this situation.

When we consider His works and His great deeds, we can rest assured that He will indeed answer our prayers and work all things for our good.

God is able to do more than we could ask or imagine. He is not limited by our imagination, He is not constrained by our little faith or by our understanding. He is not bound by time, finances, or location. He is El Shaddai, the God who is sufficient for the needs of His people, always.

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.” 1 John 5:14

Whatever you’re praying for, know that God hears you. But also be willing to expand your expectations, release your timeline, and surrender your will to His.  Watch with faith. He is listening and working, many times in ways you cannot see. Trust Him and be more desperate for Him than for His reply. 

“Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the LORD!” Psalm 31:24

Today, let’s pray through Psalm 77. Then let’s encourage our sons and daughters that God IS working. He hears them. He knows their needs. He will answer. Always.

If you enjoy reading Join the PAC Prayer, why not share it with a friend!! It’s good to be reminded we’re not alone in parenting or in walking with Christ each day. Let’s build this community of believers!

If you have a prayer request, please feel free to email jointhepacprayer@gmail.com. Know that I’m praying for each of the readers! It’s a joy and privilege!

Pray without ceasing.

Obedience Is Greater than Sacrifice

“Blessed are all who fear the LORD, who walk in obedience to him.” Psalm 128:1

Israel begged God for a king. They wanted a king like all the other nations so that when they went into battle, the other nations could see their leader and they would be successful. But what Israel didn’t understand is that they DID have a king…God was their king. Unlike any other nation, God was on Israel’s side and the other nations saw the power and might of Israel’s God. Yet, Israel rejected Him and begged for a human king. So, God relented and chose Saul to be the first king of Israel. Israel’s rejection of God led to hardship and heartache. And their king? He started off good, but got distracted by fame, by power, and by selfishness. He did what he wanted and then offered sacrifices to earn God’s approval.

Saul was anointed king, but he struggled with obedience to God. He seemed to think that his way was better than God’s way. He was impatient to wait for God’s timing, going so far as to offer the sacrifices himself rather than wait for Samuel, the priest, to manage the sacrifice as required by the Law (1 Samuel 13). The last straw was when God told Saul to destroy the Amalekites, every man, woman, and child, every herd and flock, take no spoil, leave nothing intact. But Saul thought better of that and chose to capture the King, Agog and bring him back to Israel, alive. Saul’s men plundered the best of the flocks and herds to “offer in sacrifice to God” (1 Samuel 15). Was this what God asked of them? No, it was not. Was this better than God’s plan? No, it was not. Did this put Israel at risk? Oh, yes, yes it did. Yet Saul didn’t see it. He continued to make excuses and offer platitudes. He blame-shifted and spoke bravely and self-righteously. Samuel, the high priest, wasn’t having it, neither was God. 

“But Samuel replied: “Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the LORD? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams. For rebellion is like the sin of divination, and arrogance like the evil of idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, He has rejected you as king.”” I Samuel 15:22-23

Samuel called Saul out on his disobedience and proceeded to tell him that God was grieved that He chose him as King. As a result, God removed His blessing from Saul and chose another to take his place. Saul, in all his efforts to engineer his fame and success had offended and disregarded the One in Whose hands his fame and success were held. He missed the whole point. Saul was God’s servant, a tool to be used to bring Him glory and accomplish His purposes. Yet Saul opted to be his own master and make it look good by offering sacrifices after the fact. Saul did not fear God. He did not respect God. Saul tried to manipulate God, and it didn’t work.

Saul isn’t unlike us, is he? How often do we, or our children, choose to do what WE think is best, ignoring God’s commands and compromising our integrity, morality, and spiritual testimony to satisfy our selfish desires?  We think we know better. Do we balk at what God asks of us, instead pursuing an alternative and ‘dedicating it to Him’? Or, in an effort to ‘make up for it’ we offer sacrifices, we ‘do’ things to honor God or ‘give’ to bless Him. Our disobedience and efforts after the fact are offensive to Him. Yet we think we can engineer our life, our choices, and our results. We cannot. God is Sovereign. He is in control. He sees our heart. He sees that we fear failure, suffering, and loss more than we fear Him. He sees that we put more faith in our own efforts and plans than we do His. He sees. He knows. And He will respond.

God saw Saul’s heart. He saw that Saul was more concerned with his own fame and success. His offerings and sacrifices to God were an effort to appease Him rather than an act of worship to bring pleasure and delight to God with a fully surrendered heart. He was not a servant of God but was serving himself. Isaiah 65:5 says, “Such people are smoke in my nostrils, a fire that keeps burning all day.” Their fake sacrifices are a stench, not a pleasing aroma.

Today, it’s time to take stock on what and how you sacrifice to God:

• Is our heart surrendered to Him? 

• Are our motives pure? 

• Do we ask God to bless our actions after we take them? Or do we search out the heart of God before we act?

• Do we consider how our words and actions will testify to our love for and fear of God?

• Are we more concerned with honoring Him than with getting the desired outcome for ourselves?

• Are we willing to do whatever He asks or do we resist, instead trying to bargain with Him and offer compromises?

Obedience is greater than sacrifice. 

Deuteronomy 28 gives a very detailed description of the benefits of obedience and the dangers of disobedience. He wanted Israel to understand the blessings of obedience and to see that they were nothing the Israelites could ensure on their own.

• The LORD your God will set you high above all the nations on earth. (Deut 28:1)

• You will be blessed in the city and blessed in the country. (Deut 28:3)

• The fruit of your womb will be blessed, and the crops of your land and the young of your livestock—the calves of your herds and the lambs of your flocks. (Deut 28:4)

• Your basket and your kneading trough will be blessed. (Deut 28:5)

• You will be blessed when you come in and blessed when you go out. (Deut 28:6)

• The LORD will grant that the enemies who rise up against you will be defeated before you. (Deut 28:7)

• The LORD will send a blessing on your barns and on everything you put your hand to. The LORD your God will bless you in the land he is giving you. (Deut 28:8)

• The LORD will establish you as his holy people, as he promised you on oath, if you keep the commands of the LORD your God and walk in obedience to him. (Deut 28:9)

• Then all the peoples on earth will see that you are called by the name of the LORD, and they will fear you. (Deut 28:10)

• The LORD will make you the head, not the tail. If you pay attention to the commands of the LORD your God that I give you this day and carefully follow them, you will always be at the top, never at the bottom. Deut 28:13

Wow! That is a list of blessings that no man could ensure for himself- only God. And all of these blessings were what Saul was longing for, and yet he chose to pursue his own path and ended up losing it all. 

When we teach our children obedience, it is not just for their compliance, but for their good, their protection, and their success. As they become adults, we pray they carry those lessons with them. And we pray, too, they understand the value and importance of obedience to God.

Even if obedience does not make sense, we need to remember that God’s ways are higher than our own. His wisdom is eternal, His plan is divine, His methods are not human. We can choose to go our own way and suffer the consequences of faulty, limited, unwise humanity, or we can choose to obey God and rest in His eternal, Sovereign, all powerful ways that will protect us and prosper us according to His will and for His glory. These are good things to remind our sons and daughters.

It’s a hard lesson to learn, isn’t it?  Obedience is always more powerful than sacrifice. It carries a stronger testimony and offers Godly protection. Obedience glorifies God. Sacrifice without obedience is a stench.

Today, let’s pray that our sons and daughters understand obedience to God and pursue it with their whole heart. “Blessed are all who fear the LORD, who walk in obedience to him.” Psalm 128:1

“Heavenly Father, You are a good God who asks us to pursue You with our whole heart. You promise blessing and protection in our obedience. I pray that You would surround (name) today and impress upon them a desire to obey You. Please keep them from compromise. Keep them from going their own way and then trying to offer sacrifices to appease Your disappointment and anger. Lord, we cannot bargain with You. That is not how You work. You require our obedience, yet You’ve given us a free will to choose whom we will follow and obey. I pray that (name) would always choose You. Lord, show them the rewards of obedience. When things do not make sense, give them an unshakeable trust in You and Your plan. Help them to rest in the knowledge that You are all-knowing. You are all-powerful. You are the King of kings and Lord of lords, there is none greater, stronger, or wiser and there is salvation in no one else. Jesus, You are the Messiah, our Savior, Redeemer and Friend. I pray that (name) would trust and obey You each and every day. Help me to live a life that demonstrates obedience and surrender to You. I pray these things in Jesus’ name, amen.”

Pray without ceasing!

A Blessing of Favor and Purpose.

“May the favor of the Lord our God rest on us; establish the work of our hands for us— yes, establish the work of our hands.”

Psalm 90:17

We pray for so many things regarding our sons and daughters, their walk with the Lord, protection from spiritual oppression and attack, their relationships, their attitudes and desires. Sometimes we get consumed by the needs and we neglect the blessings. And although the needs are great, it’s good to shift our focus from the struggle to the One who makes all things new.

So today, we’re going to pray a blessing over our sons and daughters. Psalm 90:17 is a beautiful prayer and even more so when you look at each word in the original Hebrew language. When we understand the original language, we understand more deeply what God is teaching us, the power that protects and sustains us, and the calling He has on our lives.

The prayer in Psalm 90:17 is twofold. The first is the request for God’s favor - God pouring His Presence and blessing on us. The second is the request to give us purpose and make us productive in a way that brings glory to Him.

Let’s look at the key words from Psalm 90:17

When we pray for favor, what are we actually praying for? We often think the word ‘favor’ means goodwill or kindness. When some does a favor for us, it is nice and an expression of care not out of obligation, but out of the goodness of their heart. When someone shows favor toward us we feel chosen, appreciated and special. But the Hebrew word for favor, noam, means so much more! 

Favor is God’s “delightfulness or pleasantness, splendor and grace” (1) It is reflective of God and His character. When we pray for favor on our children, we pray that God would pour out Himself on them, giving them a glimpse of Eden and life before the fall, when God walked in the garden with Adam and everything was set at one with Him. God’s favor is refreshing and sustaining. It is God’s goodness, delightfulness, splendor and grace lavished on us when we’re not deserving and in ways we could never deserve or earn. It is glorious and it reminds us that He has more for us than what this world offers. His favor is refreshing, encouraging, and reminds us that He is present and working. And how do we typically respond to favor? We are inclined to be drawn to the one who shows it toward us. Part of our prayer should be not only that God pours out His favor on them, but that our sons and daughters respond by drawing near to Him, craving time with Him, and recognize the blessing and gift of His favor on them.

The next word is “rest” (or be in some translations) and that is the Hebrew word haya. It means “to exist or come to pass, be accomplished or committed to” (2) When something comes to rest, it exists. It settles upon. When God’s favor settles on us, it rests, it stays, it provides a reminder of His presence and His protection and nothing can move it or remove it from us. When something rests it is linked to a location or purpose. God’s favor rests on us with purpose, position, and power and nothing has the power or authority to remove it.

“On Us” is the Hebrew word ‘al’ and it means “according to, on account of, on behalf of, concerning, beside, in addition to, together with, beyond, above, over, by, on to, towards, to, against.” (3)   Scripture tells us that in all times and in every way, God is surrounding us from all directions. It’s akin to Psalm 139:5 which says, “You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.” When we pray this blessing, we are asking for God’s favor to rest on us in every way at all times, everywhere.

The second part of this prayer of blessing is the request to establish the work of our hands. This is asking God to use us to do meaningful work that reflects His presence in our lives. The word ‘establish’ (in some translations the word used is conform) is the Hebrew word “kun” and it means “to set up, appoint, render sure and prosperous; to  ordain or order, to confirm and direct.” Some verses used the word ‘determined’ or ‘prepared’ others the phrase, ‘firmly decided’ or ‘make ready’. Think about that. When we ask God to establish our sons and daughters, we’re asking Him to prepare them, make them ready, ordain their life, their choices, their steps, and ultimately, their eternity. When God establishes someone, He blesses them. That does not mean their life is easy, but it does mean it is fully in His sovereign keeping.

We’re asking God to establish their work- that which they choose to do daily, whether occupation or vocation, whether hobby or leisure. There is nothing more frustrating than pointless work, right? How many times have we done something and asked, why am I doing this? What purpose does it have? We do not want to see our sons and daughters disillusioned with life, their purpose, or their value. The Hebrew word for work is “maase” and it means “a transaction, product, act, art, labor, occupation” (5). 1 Corinthians 10:31 reminds us that whatever we do, it should be done for the glory of God.  But none of that is accomplished in our own strength. Unless God enables it, we cannot do it. We want God to appoint the actions and choices of our sons and daughters so the work that they do reflects His presence in their life and brings glory to Him. We need to pray that our sons and daughters see that even the menial, daily things have eternal value. 

This part of the blessing is a prayer that asks God to help us see the eternal in the temporal and the divine in the midst of the mundane. We want our children to recognize that things like changing a baby’s diaper can be a reminder of how God lifts us out of our sinful mess and cleans us up, making us fresh and new. And each time they do that, it should remind them of God’s faithfulness to continually meet us in our mess and make us more like Christ. We want them to always be mindful that although making a meal can become a chore, it can also be a reminder of God’s provision, His daily bread for us, both physically and spiritually. There are so many things that can quickly and easily become trivial and shift our mind and focus toward the temporal, but if we have our mindset fixed on Christ, those daily chores become gentle reminders of His presence, His purpose, and His plan for us. He appoints days, seasons, events, relationships, and opportunities for His plan and His glory. Nothing is pointless. Everything can bring Him glory.

Today, let’s take time to pray through Psalm 90:17, pondering the deeper meanings there and asking the Lord to bless our sons and daughters abundantly, to rest His favor upon them and establish the work of their hands.

“Heavenly Father, Holy One, Almighty, Everlasting God. You show us favor even though we are undeserving. You delight in lavishing Your blessings on us because You love us. I pray that You would be gracious to rest your favor on (name) today. Let it settle on them, wash over them, go before and behind them. May they recognize Your favor in the warmth of the sunshine, the provision of a warm cup of coffee or the friendly smile of a co-worker or friend. Remind them that Your favor keeps them in hardship, sustains them when they are weary, and infuses them with joy that is unexplainable in a world saturated with sin and darkness. Let the blessing of Your favor be evident to those around them, so that it would ring loudly as a testimony of God’s presence and purpose in their life.”

“I ask, too, Lord, that You would establish the work of their hands. Let whatever they choose to do, be blessed by You and bring You glory. Open their eyes and heart to see Your purpose and Your presence in every thing. Don’t let them fall into disillusionment or feeling purposeless and directionless. Don’t let the darkness and depravity of this world overshadow Your Presence in their daily life. In all of the tedious things they must do, bring a recognition of Your daily provision and presence. Let them see your favor in recognizable and undeniable ways so that their mind will remain fixed on Christ and their perspective will continue to be eternal to their hope and inheritance in Christ. I know You can do this Lord.”

“May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon (name), establish the work of their hands for them - yes, establish the work of their hands, Lord. I pray this blessing in the mighty name of Jesus’, amen.”

Pray without ceasing.

1. H5278 - nōʿam - Strong's Hebrew Lexicon (NIV). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/h5278/niv/wlc/0-1/

2. H1961 - hāyâ - Strong's Hebrew Lexicon (NIV). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/h1961/niv/wlc/0-1/ 

3. H5921 - ʿal - Strong's Hebrew Lexicon (NIV). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/h5921/niv/wlc/0-1/

4. H3559 - kûn - Strong's Hebrew Lexicon (NIV). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/h3559/niv/wlc/0-1/

5. H4639 - maʿăśê - Strong's Hebrew Lexicon (NIV). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/h4639/niv/wlc/0-1/

Criticism vs. Discernment

What is the difference between criticism and discernment? 

My spirit has been bothered recently at the amount of criticism flying on social media and other engagement platforms, especially between believers. It is a chorus of people railing at one another for their stance or conviction on issues, events, and leaders. Some have embraced social media as their platform to ‘bring change’ but their method is criticism. It is destructive and hurtful. But to understand why, you need to look at the meanings of the words.

The word, criticism, is the Greek word momaomai (1) and it means to blame, find fault with, mock at, to censure and discredit. 

Paul says in 2 Corinthians 6:3, “We put no stumbling block in anyone’s path, so that our ministry will not be discredited.”  He did not want his words or actions to cause mockery or censure of his ministry. What is a stumbling block? Words, actions, and attitudes that do not reflect Christ or that promote our agenda, not His.

The Old Testament also addresses criticism. The Hebrew word is harap (2)  and it means to expose, to carp at, to defame or reproach. Nehemiah uses this to describe a plot by ungodly men to cause him to sin and thus discredit him. “He had been hired to intimidate me so that I would commit a sin by doing this, and then they would give me a bad name to discredit me.” Nehemiah 6:13 These men were cultivating a reproach against Nehemiah.  Judges 8:15ff shows Gideon using the same word when others taunted him, trying to gain an edge in a power struggle. Gideon was pursuing what was right. The others were pursuing their own power, benefit, and reputation.

We use criticism to correct. Yet, has someone’s criticism ever encouraged you to change your mind? Has it pushed you to do better? I don’t know about you, but criticism breaks me down. It discourages me and pushes me further away from that person and what they’re trying to accomplish. Yet, we fall into the trap of thinking we’ll change people’s minds and hearts by criticizing. 

Friends, the act of criticism is not discernment. It is used to bring others down and in so doing, make ourselves look better, smarter, more godly. It is a horizontal engagement between people that does little to point others to Christ. Criticism breeds self-righteousness. It is a sin.

Discernment is vastly different. There are two Greek words for this, the first is dokimazo (3) and it means to test, approve, examine, scrutinize to see whether a thing is genuine or not. It is to have the ability to recognize something (or someone) as genuine. That is only accomplished when one is very knowledgeable about the truth and what is precise and correct. It is not founded on personal knowledge or opinion. It is not based on feelings, but on Truth. One must know the Truth of Scripture in order to discern what is deceptive, incorrect, or evil. 

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2

We need to recognize that discernment is not based on knowing the issues, knowing the candidates, or knowing our personal convictions. It is solely based on knowing God’s truth and being able to recognize, in our spirit and our mind, what aligns with Christ and what is anti-Christ. 

Philippians goes a step further  using another version of the word for discernment, aisthesis (4). It means perception, judgment, and cognition not only by one’s senses, but by their intellect as well. It requires knowledge. 

“And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ,” Philippians 1:9-10

The typical Greek word used for knowledge is the word gnosis (5) which means experiential knowledge, relationship knowledge, but not necessarily Christian ‘culture’ or Biblical precepts.  But Paul makes a significant distinction in Philippians and uses the word epignosis (5) and it means full discernment and precise and correct knowledge. It is knowledge of God and His word, not of our own intellect and perception of people, events, and information. Do you see the difference? Discernment is grounded in Biblical Truth and it is a vertical interaction between us and God for the purpose of discernment of Godly things. It is knowledge that impacts our behavior and attitudes so they reflect God more accurately in our vertical interaction with Him that impacts our interaction with others. It is vastly different from criticism based on average, common knowledge and for the goal of bettering ourselves in a horizontal interaction with others. 

We need to pray for our sons and daughters that a spirit of criticism does not take root, or if it already has, that God would remove it and instead give them a heart and mind ready for and able to practice discernment. Pray that they are burdened to see Christ glorified and authentically reflected through their lives. Pray that they are willing to set aside ‘being right’ for allowing God to work through them and make them more like Him. Let’s allow the Holy Spirit to do His work. He doesn’t need our help in tearing one another down with criticism. Our responsibility is to pursue truth and live it out with discernment.

“Heavenly Father, You are so good and patient to continue teaching us. You are kind, not wanting any to perish, but all to come to repentance. You are faithful to pursue us, encourage us and teach us, ensuring that we do not stay where we are and what we are, but you daily transform us into the likeness of You Son, Jesus. I pray for (name) today that You would continue to transform them into Your likeness. Remove any spirit of criticism that would overshadow their desire to know You more and represent You authentically. I pray that the vertical relationship with You would be their priority. Remove any vain desire to be ‘right’ toward others in a way that would tear them down, belittle them or turn them away from the gospel. Keep them from the sin of self-righteousness. Cultivate in them precise and correct knowledge of Your Word. Let them hunger and thirst after righteousness. Let their light shine before others so they would see their good works and glorify You. Lord, You do not need us to defend You. You are mighty and strong. You need our obedience. I pray that (name) would have strong discernment to obey, to remain quiet when You ask them to, and when they speak, to speak words of life that are like honey, a balm to those to hear them and encouragement to those who need to know You are the Living Water they thirst for. Lord, I pray that You would help me to not be critical. Put a guard on my mouth so that I do not say things that would be ungodly or hurtful. I pray that You would continue to teach me so that I can live out the example You desire for my sons and daughters. Thank you for Your faithfulness to me and to my family. May You be glorified through us. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

Pray without ceasing.

1. G3469 - mōmaomai - Strong's Greek Lexicon (NIV). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g3469/niv/mgnt/0-1/

2. H2778 - ḥārap̄ - Strong's Hebrew Lexicon (NIV). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/h2778/niv/wlc/0-1/

3. G1381 - dokimazō - Strong's Greek Lexicon (NIV). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g1381/niv/mgnt/0-1/

4. G144 - aisthēsis - Strong's Greek Lexicon (NIV). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g144/niv/mgnt/0-1/

5. G1108 - gnōsis - Strong's Greek Lexicon (NIV). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g1108/niv/mgnt/0-1/

6. G1922 - epignōsis - Strong's Greek Lexicon (NIV). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g1922/niv/mgnt/0-1/

Are you praying for a prodigal? Oh the heartache and heaviness of battling in prayer for one who needs to return to Jesus! Yet, you’re praying to the One who made their heart and knows it completely. 40 Days of Prayer for the Prodigal is a great Bible-based resource to guide your prayer journey and bring you closer to the Lord with each passing day. Get your copy today and transform your prayer life in significant ways!

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God Sees It All

“Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.” Hebrews 4:13

The other day I had the joy of going to a wedding shower. It was about an hour away, so I was on the highway, listening to some praise music, enjoying the drive and watching the GPS because I would have to soon exit onto another highway. Suddenly a large SUV came flying by my left side and nearly cut me off. He pulled into my lane, nearly hitting me, then proceeded to weave in and out of traffic across four lanes and was speeding close to 100 mph (161 kph) (the speed limit was 70mph). It startled me at first, it was so reckless. Then I was concerned and a bit annoyed. I literally prayed out loud, “Lord, let the police see that person and pull them over before they cause an accident!”.  The words were hardly out of my mouth when another vehicle passed me quickly on the left … It was a state trooper. I laughed out loud, God heard my prayer and answered within moments!  That trooper was driving fast, trying to catch up to the one who was driving even faster and recklessly. There were no lights. No sirens. Just an intentional focus and purposeful driving to catch the one who was breaking the law. He wasn’t making a ‘big deal’ of his pursuit so that others were aware. But he saw, he knew, and he was taking action. His goal wasn’t to catch and punish but to stop the behavior that was putting people at risk. Yes, there would be consequences, but the goal was safety and rescue.

I had to take my exit and continue on a different highway and didn’t see the outcome, but I’m pretty certain that the individual who was speeding found himself getting a hefty ticket and a stern talking to about his driving. He had to give account for his choices that were seen and called out by the police.  God struck me with the spiritual significance of what I just witnessed. That police officer was like the Holy Spirit going after someone who is running from the Lord. He saw the individual’s choice to sin. He went after them to bring them to account, but also to keep them safe from the danger they were pursuing. He did it quietly and with intention. He had the authority to do so. And hopefully, there was a lesson learned in the process. Yet, few people around really noticed the officer working. He didn’t announce it for all to see. He stayed focused on the one who needed his intervention, even though that individual did not want the attention.

Sometimes our sons and daughters are going their own way, they’re running from the Lord, choosing to sin, indifferent to those around them, or just too focused on their own desires to see how their choices are putting their spiritual safety at risk. They don’t see the heartache they’re causing. But the Holy Spirit is there, He sees, and He’s following them, intent on reaching them to stop them from their destructive ways. He doesn’t come with ‘lights and sirens’; He often comes unexpectedly. But, He sees. He knows. And He is following them. We may not see Him working, but we need to trust that He is. We may be frustrated, “Lord, why don’t you act?!” But He is moving with purpose and intention to accomplish His will in that individual’s life. 

The Holy Spirit is working, even when we cannot see it. We may get frustrated, “Lord, why don’t you act?” When, in fact, He is working. But our limited vision doesn’t see His hand. This is what faith is about…trusting in the unseen and resting in the omnipotent power of the Lord of lords. We don’t have the power and authority to intervene just as I didn’t have the power or authority to pull over that speeding driver. I had to trust that law enforcement would do their job. The officer was watching even when I didn’t see him working- it was comforting and a sobering reminder. 

God is eternal. We know that, but sometimes we lose sight of what that means. He knows everything. He sees the direction we will go before we even take a step. He’s watching our choices, our thoughts, and our intentions. When we are caught in our sin, we’re often oblivious to the Holy Spirit until He’s right there, upon us, revealing our sin and stirring our conscience, and leading us to repentance. God sees your beloved son or daughter. He knows where they are and what they’re doing. Psalm 139:2-4 tells us, 

“You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue, you, LORD, know it completely.” 

There is nothing that escapes God’s attention. He is not slow to act. He is not insufficient in His responses. The difficult part for us is waiting and trusting. We want to see a resolution now. We want assurance that our sons and daughters will walk with the Lord. We want relief from the worry and pain. But we need to trust Him that He will intervene and He will work in His time and according to His will. 

We need to choose to parent with purpose and intention. When our sons and daughters are going their own way, will we allow that to send us into a frenzy of worry and grief or will we move forward with quiet trust in the Lord? Will we carry our burdens of pain, sorrow, and worry or will we lay them on the altar for God to manage?

When we pray, we are stepping into the supernatural realm with the power of God in us. We are communing with the Great I Am, the King of Kings and Lord of lords, the God of gods. We have access to the Throne room of the One to whom every knee will bow and every tongue confess His Lordship. Why would we allow ourselves to wring our hands and worry our hearts? We have the power of the Almighty on our side.

Whether your son or daughter is walking with the Lord or not, they need prayer. Time is short and Satan knows it. This generation is his target - if he can capture their heart, and their mind, he will be one step closer to his goal of destroying mankind- the image bearers of the Most High God.

Let’s pray with purpose. Let’s pray with intention. Let’s pray a portion of Hannah’s prayer in 1 Samuel 2:1-3 and 10:

Holy Father, Lord of lords, I want to pray like Hannah who said, “My heart rejoices in the Lord; in the Lord my horn is lifted high.” Oh, Lord, You are the One who exalts and who brings down. I pray today that You would work in (name)’s  heart today. Get their attention, bring them to repentance. Hannah also said, “My mouth boasts over my enemies, for I delight in your deliverance.” You are the only One who can bring deliverance. Why would I trust in any other? Lord, take my worry, take my grief, soften my heart to be surrendered to Your will and Your timeline. Hannah understood Your authority and praised you saying, “There is no one holy like the Lord; there is no one besides you; there is no Rock like our God.” Help me to praise you, too, and to rest in Your power and authority. Keep me from speaking words that do not honor You or voicing my frustration that things are not yet resolved. “Do not keep talking so proudly or let your mouth speak such arrogance, for the Lord is a God who knows, and by him deeds are weighed.” I pray that (name) would understand that You know and You will weigh their choices, their thoughts, their desires. Give them a heart that longs after You. I know that You see. I know that You are acting, even if I cannot see it yet. I trust You Lord, help me to rest in that trust. You are my hope and salvation. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.”

Do you know Jesus as your Lord and Savior?  If not, who are you trusting in for your eternal salvation?  The Bible says, “Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved.” Acts 4:2

It’s not about being “good” or doing good works to achieve righteousness because nothing we can do would ever be enough to justify ourselves before a righteous God. “All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away.” Isaiah 64:6

But God loves us so much that He made a way. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in Him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son.” John 3:16-18

So, how do we believe? How do we receive so great a salvation that when God looks on us, He sees Jesus, perfect, holy, and righteous? Romans 10:9-11 says, “If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. As scripture says, “Anyone who believes in Him will never be put to shame.”  Romans 10:9-11

“God's kindness is intended to lead you to repentance.” Romans 2:4  Will you embrace God’s kindness today?  Will you declare with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead? Any other religion asks you to give your all for their god, but Jesus gave His all for us so that we could be reconciled to Him.

If you want to surrender your life to Christ today, pray this prayer, “Lord Jesus, I know that I am a sinner. I am lost and separated from You because of my sin- my wrong thoughts, actions, and desires- I confess that. But I believe You died for me, You paid for my sin so that I could stand before You forgiven, justified, and redeemed. I ask that You would be my Lord and Savior. Forgive me. Cleanse me. Make me Your child. I believe that God the Father raised You, Jesus, from the dead so that death and hell have no power over me. I know that one day I will stand in heaven with You as Your child, redeemed, loved, and chosen. Thank you for new life, for Jesus, and for Your mighty forgiveness. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

If you prayed that prayer, would you let me know so I can be praying for you? You now have so many brothers and sisters in Christ who intercede for you and your spiritual growth and protection!  Welcome to the Family of God!

If you’re praying for a prodigal, consider this powerful resource, 40 Days of Prayer for the Prodigal. This book walks the reader through 40 days of intentional prayer for the heart of the one who is running from God. It includes a focus on God and His attributes, then an honest explanation of the sin and sorrow that pulls the prodigal away from God. Prayer is scripture-based and journal prompts allow the reader to thoughtfully record what they are praying and learning throughout the 40 day journey. Order your copy on Amazon today!

Don’t stop praying, God isn’t finished

The Importance of Accountability

We’ve all heard the stories of Christian leaders whose lives impacted many and whose words were followed with conviction and enthusiasm. We’ve followed some of them, only later to learn that the individual was entertaining sin, deep, grievous sin that disqualified them from ministry. Sin that was always at the expense of others who trusted them. Sin that was dark, nasty, and contradictory to their message and their persona. And one of the biggest factors involved was accountability…or the lack thereof. A big red flag for someone’s character (or lack thereof) is a resistance to accountability and push back towards those who ask it of them.

No one is so great that they cannot be held accountable. No one has such a powerful ministry that another believer cannot question their actions, words, and choices in an honest and Biblical way. If that happens and the individual is not willing to be transparent, that’s a huge red flag.

But it doesn’t just apply to leaders. We are ALL to be accountable for our lives because it is what keeps us following Christ authentically and helps us avoid the traps of sin and temptation. There is no one who does not need accountability. We are all sinners, saved by grace. And we all struggle with that fleshly temptation to revert back to what we once were. The challenge and the deception is that we think we can control it. Yet, it ends up controlling us. Accountability deters that.

Effective accountability requires several things: humility, community, transparency, and honesty. If someone is resistant to any of those, that is a red flag.

Humility

We are to follow the example of Christ, who humbled himself to whatever the Father willed.  It is a willingness to allow your life to be open to others. 

“Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.” Philippians 2:3-7

We spent a lot of time building up our kids, encouraging them, cultivating leadership and character, but did we emphasize humility?  It’s a quality that is valued and needed. It reflects Christ, and it positions the individual to look at themselves, their actions, choices, and words with honesty.  Pray for humility.

Accountability requires community. Someone who operates alone answers to a committee of one. Whatever they choose to do is self-approved, self-supported, and self-celebrated. When someone pushes others away, or intimidates those around them into silence, that is not only abuse of position and power, it is arrogance and self-importance. It is a blatant sin. Godly community helps us remain aligned with right practices and respect for God and his expectations for us.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

We didn’t isolate our children as we raised them. We ensured they had good friends, other families who lived and believed as we did to influence them, because we understood the value of the ‘village’. But as children grow into adulthood, they do not always retain the values and practices with which they were raised or see the importance of holding protections in place. .Pray for Godly community that would speak into their lives and influence them with Christ-likeness.

Accountability requires transparency. Paul and Titus wanted to ensure their ministry was God-honoring and gave evidence of that to everyone they encountered. They understood that although they answered to the Lord, their actions and words were seen and evaluated by everyone with whom they came in contact. Their testimony was evidence of their authenticity. 

“We are careful to be honorable before the Lord, but we also want everyone else to see that we are honorable.” 2 Corinthians 8:21

Secret sins are those that are devastating. The impact isn’t just on the one who commits the sin, but on everyone who knows and loves them. God was clear about secret sin:

“Cursed is anyone who makes an idol—a thing detestable to the LORD, the work of skilled hands—and sets it up in secret.” Deuteronomy 27:15

“‘Cursed be anyone who strikes down his neighbor in secret.'” Deuteronomy 27:24

“Whoever slanders their neighbor in secret, I will put to silence; whoever has haughty eyes and a proud heart, I will not tolerate.” Psalm 101:5

“The wicked accept bribes in secret to pervert the course of justice.” Proverbs 17:23

Pray that our children would be transparent, not hiding sin and not treasuring it in their heart. “Can a man hide himself in secret places so that I cannot see him? declares the LORD. Do I not fill heaven and earth? declares the LORD.” Jeremiah 23:24 God sees. God knows. He will reveal it- pray that He does. Pray for our sons and daughters to be transparent.

Finally, accountability requires honesty. It is the character quality that allows us to look at ourselves truly, and see our words and actions through the eyes of God and others and to accept the truth of them. No excuses. No blame-shifting.

The prophet, Nathan, brought this very issue to King David after his sin with Bathsheba and his murder of her husband, Uriah. Nathan used an analogy to show David his fault:

““Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal for the traveler who had come to him. Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it for the one who had come to him.” David burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan, “As surely as the LORD lives, the man who did this must die! He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no pity.” Then Nathan said to David, “You are the man!” “Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the LORD.”” 2 Samuel 12:4-7a, 13a

When we sin and refuse accountability, we not only deceive others into thinking we’re right with God but we deceive ourselves into thinking we’re not walking in darkness. We’re dishonest. Deceit is a tool of Satan. Honesty protects us from falling away. 

It is so important that our sons and daughters have accountability with other believers in their walk with the Lord. As children, they were accountable to us, their parents, and we helped shape and guide them. But for most of us, our children are grown, employed, living elsewhere, and our opportunity and ability to speak into their lives is different, less frequent, and without the same impact or authority. It’s likely we are no longer positioned to do that as effectively as others may be. 

We need to pray that the Lord would bring accountability partners into the lives of our sons and daughters. People whom they respect and look up to, people who are spiritually mature and who also share accountability with others. Pray that God would show our children the value and importance of being accountable and being open, surrendered, and vulnerable enough to accept their need for accountability.

Accountability is difficult and, sometimes, unpleasant. But it is a safety net to keep us from devastating sin. It is the lens through which God enables us to see ourselves more clearly in order to clean up what is becoming muddied by the world and its influences. It is an assurance, provided by God and aligned with Scripture, to help us maintain a blameless walk with the Lord and a testimony that will bring glory and honor to Him.

“Father, I pray for (name) today that You would bring other believers alongside them to provide encouragement and accountability. Keep them walking with You, not straying off the path, not lingering in shadows or darkness, and not sitting by the wayside, watching sin with interest. Lord, keep them from sin. Put a guard on their eyes. Protect their heart with the breastplate of righteousness and their mind with the helmet of salvation. Impress on them the need for and importance of accountability. Help them to be humble, transparent, honest, and active in a Christian community- a fellowship of believers who would surround them with wisdom, encouragement, and protection. Lord, only You can accomplish this, I pray that you will. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

Pray without ceasing.

Full Surrender

“Some time later God tested Abraham. He said to him, “Abraham!” 

“Here I am,” he replied. 

Then God said, “Take your son, your only son, whom you love—Isaac—and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you.”” 

Genesis 22:1-2

The story of Abraham and Isaac is a powerful one. If we grew up going to church and learning the Bible, we likely were introduced to the story as children: Abraham offering his son Isaac on the altar as God commanded. It may have seemed odd and even cold. But, as children, I doubt many of us understood the deep sacrifice God was asking Abraham to give. 

But when we become parents, that story takes on a whole new meaning. Could we even imagine God asking us to sacrifice the life of one of our children as a burnt offering - a sacrifice to Him?! We would be ready to lay down our life for them in a heartbeat, but to take their life as an offering to God? It asks too much…. Or does it?

We hold our relationships with our children very closely, as we should. They are precious and valuable to us. We cherish them. We invest in them. We hold them so dear. But, friends, sometimes our parenting becomes an idol. Sometimes we idolize something that God gifted us and asks us to steward, not worship. We fret and angst. We speak into their choices and relationships. We lose sleep, shed tears, and pray fervently. Yet we hold on so tightly that it may be a struggle to see God in the midst or be willing to allow Him to have His way. We want to protect, to engineer, to bring resolutions to the problems in our own power and wisdom. It’s not godly.

We need to be willing to lay it on the altar. That does not mean we disconnect from our sons and daughters, not at all. Abraham was present and speaking in Isaac’s life right up to the point that he raised the knife. He was parenting, but in submission to God. And Isaac trusted Abraham enough to surrender to what God was asking him to do. That is full surrender and it’s beautiful.

Abraham valued his relationship with God most of all. His trust of God and his obedience to God surpassed his need to cling to and protect Isaac. He was not willing to sacrifice his relationship with God for his son. He trusted that God could do more than he humanly could imagine. That is powerful and that’s the example we need to follow.

Here is a question to ponder: are we possibly holding those relationships dearer than our relationship with the Lord? Are we resisting what God is asking of us in order to preserve what we deem more valuable with our sons and daughters? Are we unwilling to lay them on the altar and allow God to have His way?

Perhaps we are like the parent who takes their child to the Emergency Room because they need skilled care, only to tell the doctor we know what’s best, directing his responses. And instead of trusting his wisdom, skill, and discernment, we stand in the way of his effectiveness. When we bring our children to the Great Physician, we need to trust His skill and care, not direct His responses according to our human wisdom. Lay it all on the altar.

As we step into this new year, it is a perfect time to practice full surrender of all God has given us and blessed us with. Oh, friends, I don’t have this all worked out either. It’s a daily choice to surrender to my Lord and Savior, asking Him to resolve those things that grieve me, the choices my children make that concern me for their future. It’s surrendering the worry over the ‘red flags’ that I see in their lives and relationships. It’s humbly recognizing my place, and my ability and power (or lack thereof) in light of God’s sovereign authority and power to effect change in their lives. He is God, I am not. He is wise, I have limited understanding. He is able, where I will falter and fail. Isn’t it best to trust Him and obey?

Take a few moments and pray. Envision yourself lifting those things that you hold dear and laying them on the altar to give back to God, don’t take them back down again. Place those things you worry over, the choices and relationships your son or daughter is pursuing, on the altar as a sacrifice to God- may He have the glory. You cannot change it, but God can. If we are willing to give it all over to Him and trust Him with the process, we will gain so much freedom and peace. 

Our sons and daughters belong to God; they are a gift from Him to us to steward, to raise, to nurture in the knowledge of God. It’s only right and fitting that we give them back to Him so He can have full sway over their lives. Oh, friends, we’re not losing them by giving them to God, we’re opening the channel for Him to work more freely and to use us more effectively. 

Maybe a new habit this year is praying a prayer of surrender every morning, laying all of the worries and cares, all of the precious things He’s given you, back onto the altar for Him to use, to bless, to be glorified by in our surrender.

Abraham trusted God more than he trusted his ability to engineer the situation. His trust became a hallmark of his life and it was an incredible example of following God to his son, Issac, and to us. Read Genesis 22:9-18

9 When they reached the place God had told him about, Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. 10 Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. 11 But the angel of the Lord called out to him from heaven, “Abraham! Abraham!”

“Here I am,” he replied.

12 “Do not lay a hand on the boy,” he said. “Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son.”

13 Abraham looked up and there in a thicket he saw a ram caught by its horns. He went over and took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son. 14 So Abraham called that place The Lord Will Provide. And to this day it is said, “On the mountain of the Lord it will be provided.”

The angel of the Lord called to Abraham from heaven a second time 16 and said, “I swear by myself, declares the Lord, that because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son, 17 I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies, 18 and through your offspring all nations on earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed me.””

Is there anything you’re withholding from God today? Take inventory of your life, your relationships, what you value most and hold dear. Choose to give it all to the Lord so that He can have His way. We cannot protect our sons and daughters from what the Lord wills, but we can be an instrument of blessing, wisdom, discernment, and love if we choose to trust God and allow Him to have full control. 

Our sons and daughters can learn much from us if we are willing to allow God to have His way, completely. What blessings await because we obey?

“During the days of Jesus' life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission.” Hebrews 5:7

Take some time today to write out a prayer. Date it. Then revisit it through the week, the month, and this year, noting how God is working in their life and in yours. Pray that prayer of surrender every morning, laying all of the worries and cares and all of the precious things He’s given you onto the altar--Full Surrender. 

Pray without ceasing.

May He be Glorified.

Are you praying for a prodigal?  Don’t lose heart. God sees and He hears.  Keep laying your burdens in prayer at the feet of Jesus.  Trust Him, He is working.  You may not see it, but He works in dimensions that are beyond our comprehension.  Pray for those friends and associates that interact with your beloved prodigal, that God would use them to bring them to full surrender to Jesus as Lord.

40 Days of Prayer for the Prodigal is a powerful book for anyone deeply in prayer for the heart of their loved one. The book addresses the battle for the heart, mind, and soul of the prodigal through praying Scripture boldly and consistently with faith that God will bring repentance and restoration. Pray the words of Scripture in powerful and effective ways to plead with God about the  condition and situation of your beloved prodigal and watch God work!

Grab your copy today! 

Available on Amazon

Parenting is Hard, Prayer is Vital

There, I said it.  It’s hard.  Social media would have you believe it’s all glorious and perfect…with just little hiccups between joyful photo shoots.  Nope.  It’s hard.  It can be painful…and ugly. But parenting is also sacred and worshipful.  The Bible shows us from the start that God is our Father and He works to build into us in ways that make us more like Him.  Parenting gives us that opportunity to model God’s character and selfless love. It’s not easy, but it’s beautiful and it’s valuable.

As parents, we sometimes make the mistake of thinking that if we can just get through ‘this’ stage, it will be easier.  But ask any seasoned parent and they will tell you, with each new stage come new challenges and yes, new joys, too.  “I can’t wait until…” is often the mantra of the battle-weary parent, the one who is overwhelmed with sleepless nights, laundry, and diapers.  Then, the toddler years arrive and the child seems to have 1000 hands, boundless energy, and insatiable curiosity. I can’t wait until…. School, all the activities, sports, then driving, and dating, and before you know it, they’re off to college and then working, married, and with their own children.  How did it go so fast?  "I can’t wait until they’re grown and I don’t have to worry any more.” Ah, that is a faulty expectation. When you love someone, you will always carry concern for them, whether they’re 2 or 32. Each new stage of parenting brings new and often more complex prayers.

Our parenting doesn’t end when our sons and daughters become adults.  But our prayers change.  They move from “Lord, please let them sleep… to Lord, please wake them up, spiritually.”  The early years are filled with prayers for their physical growth and safety, along with their spiritual formation.  But as they grow and age, our prayer becomes even deeper because, as a parent, we no longer have the daily influence or the ability to steer them away from negative influences and dark places. Our prayers take on a deeply spiritual direction, not that they were not before, but there becomes a greater urgency and a deeper understanding of eternity and their place in it. The physical needs, although still present, are secondary to their eternal state.  We feel the heaviness of their spiritual condition and direction, we battle on our knees for protection from spiritual attack, and we plead with the Lord for His intervention…and for their recognition of it.

Parenting doesn’t get ‘easier’ it just shifts to another level of support, concern, and intervention- most of it spiritual.  Are you prepared for that?

Some may say, “I don’t know how to pray that way.” Oh friends, prayer isn’t just for the ‘learned’ or those who have a long faith history. Prayer is a practice, a spiritual discipline.  You just do it.  You start where you are and allow the Holy Spirit to guide you.  You have a complete handbook to use- the Bible.  A great way to begin is by praying scripture over your sons and daughters; God’s word never returns void.  It is guaranteed to bear fruit. 

Remember, God works outside of time and space. He sees the end from the beginning.  He’s weaving people, events, places, and resources together in ways we cannot begin to comprehend  all to bring about that which He wills.  When we pray, we not only need to lift up our sons and daughters, but we need to pray for our own heart, that we would be surrendered to what God wants and that He would align our desires with His will. Be cautious.  Too often we pray with an answer or conclusion in mind.  Let God lead.

Today, let’s do just that. Let’s pray Philippians 1:9-11.  It’s straightforward and powerful.  Write it down and carry it with you this week and pray for your sons and daughters that God would do a work in their lives, reflective of the passage.

“And this is my prayer: that (name)’s love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that (name) may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ,  filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.” In Jesus’ name, amen.”

Pray without ceasing.

What IS Perfect Love?

Ah, we all long for that ‘perfect love’ don’t we?  As parents, we hope and pray our sons and daughters will find ‘the one’.  When the main character looks at his love interest and says, “You complete me”, we melt and hope that someone, someday, would say the same to us.  We all love a sweet love story and a beautiful wedding. We gush over the newlyweds as the “perfect couple” with a perfect love.  Everything is rosy.

And then life happens.  What was once beautiful can become ugly.  What was once perfect compatibility becomes irreconcilable differences.  Love as we know it can fade and cool.  Its endurance and length of days are terminal.  Love is used as a tool for manipulation, a weapon to gain control, a bargaining chip to leverage and win battles.  It is meted out to those ‘deserving’ of it and withheld from those who do not.  There are separations and divorces, and attempts to try again, after the healing.   Love between two people will never be perfect because we’re all flawed and sinful and in reality, perfect love seems elusive.  We are prone to hurt one another because, at the heart, we are selfish people, aren’t we?  We all want and need something in return.  And when we look to another flawed person to fill that void, we expect them to provide something that, in their limited capacity, they cannot perfectly supply.  

And those are the parameters by which we, as fallen sinners, learn to define love.  We are finite and our experiences and understanding are as well.  We have an incorrect, even corrupt, understanding of love. We must ask, are we setting our sons and daughters up for a Biblical understanding of love, especially if we’ve experienced flawed relationships, hurt, pain, and disappointment ourselves.  What have our sons and daughters witnessed to shape their understanding of love? 

God tells us, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18.  What is perfect love?  The word perfect in Greek is the word “telios” which means to be complete, lacking  nothing to be brought to full completion (1).  And love, agape, means affection, goodwill or benevolence, to be charitable (see a need and move to fill it) (2).

But nothing we see around us seems to fit that description, does it?  And love, the lack of love, the need for love and the attempt to find love can generate such fear and heart-crushing disappointment.  Oh, friends, this is a prayer point that should drive us ALL to our knees- that we, our sons, and our daughters would have a correct, Biblical understanding of love.

Let’s look at perfect love through Scripture:

First, the focus of perfect love never resides with another person, but with God Himself.  When we look to another human being, even those who are in the family of God, to provide perfect love, we are expecting them to deliver something that exceeds their capacity and capability.  No man (or woman) is perfect.  Yes, they can mirror and reflect Christ, but they will never be perfect.  Perfect Love is from and in Christ.  His love is limitless, boundless, and eternal.  

John 15:13 “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”  

Jesus demonstrated that perfect love for us when He gave His life on the cross to pay for our sins and make a way for us to be justified, redeemed and restored to the Father.  

Romans 5:8 “God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”  

Perfect love is only and always generated from and sustained by God Himself.

Second, God’s love will never fade or become incompatible with us.  His love will not cool.  He will never become disinterested or disillusioned.  His is the ministry of reconciliation, always working and moving to bring us into intimate fellowship with Himself. He’s always reaching out and drawing in.

Colossians 1:19-20 “For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in Him (Christ), and through Him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.”

Romans 5:17-19 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!  All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.”

Third, God will always, always, always remain faithful.  There is nothing we can do to make Him not love us.  He won’t find comfort in the arms of another.  He IS perfect love and so He doesn’t need to look elsewhere for it nor does He need us to fulfill His needs.  No, He chooses to love us unconditionally so that we will find our complete fulfillment in Him!  He completes us!

2 Timothy 2:13 “if we are faithless, He remains faithful, for he cannot disown Himself.”  

Deuteronomy 7:9 “Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments.”

Fourth, our limited minds will always struggle to comprehend the unlimited magnitude of God’s love.  Though we try, we always default to what we know and have experienced, and thereby we evaluate God’s love by our own experiences.  But that is faulty and, honestly, that’s sinful.  We must teach our sons and daughters to have spiritual discretion, Scriptural wisdom and a heart and mind trained to hear the Holy Spirit and submit to and follow His teaching.  We cannot judge God by human standards, nor can we gauge His love by what we know in this fallen world.  The Apostle Paul gave us a powerful explanation in Ephesians 1.

“Among the mature, however, we speak a message of wisdom—but not the wisdom of this age or of the rulers of this age, who are coming to nothing.” Ephesians 1:6

The rulers of this age love to tell us what we should believe and how we should think based on their own ‘wisdom’.  They continually trot out their standard of “perfect love” that, given time, shows itself as short-lived, broken, and incapable of truly meeting the needs of the ‘other’.  It’s faulty. 

“Rather, as it is written: “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no heart has imagined, what God has prepared for those who love Him.”  But God has revealed it to us by the Spirit.  The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God.” Ephesians 1:9-10

God’s love far exceeds what we could EVER imagine!!  Isn’t that mind-blowing?  Nothing we’ve ever seen or experienced comes close.  It IS perfect, complete, and lacking nothing.  And it can be ours.  What joy!!  What mind-blowing generosity!!  Pure, perfect love meeting all our needs and providing eternal security, provision and protection!

Oh that we and our sons and daughters would understand the true and perfect love of God.  Let’s be careful not to create our expectation or judgment of perfect love based on what we see around us.  Let’s always be cautious and only look to Jesus as our example and as the true lover of our souls.  And then, let’s rely on the Holy Spirit to help us live like Jesus toward others, showing selfless, faithful love that isn’t based on what someone does for us, but offered freely because God loves them and created them in His likeness.

Today, let’s pray Ephesians 3:14-19 for our sons and daughters, asking God to help them get a glimpse of His perfect love that will eclipse anything and everything they know and have experienced yet in this life.  Go on, pray boldly!  Pray with hope!  Our God wants to lavish His love on us freely and continually!

“Father, Abba, the One who loves me dearly, I pray in Your Son’s name that You would work in (name)’s heart today.  “For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen (name)  with power through his Spirit in (their) inner being, so that Christ may dwell in (name)’s heart through faith. And I pray that (name), being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that (name) may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”  May it be so, Lord Jesus.  Amen.”

Pray without ceasing.

1. G5046 - teleios - Strong's Greek Lexicon (niv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g5046/niv/mgnt/0-1/

2. G26 - agapē - Strong's Greek Lexicon (niv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g26/niv/mgnt/0-1/