Do You Want More than Just the “Motions” of Prayer?
Here at Join the PAC Prayer we cover topics of prayer and encouragement that help us pray effectively for our adult children and other loved ones. We talk about the ‘stuff of life’, the heartaches, the joys, the dangers, and the eternal truths that God reminds us of in His word.
But it’s good to stop and think about the process of prayer, too. We often focus on what we are praying, but do we think about howwe are praying? How are we approaching God? What is our heart posture? What is our mindset? What is our purpose in prayer?
Prayer Traps
Recently I watched a bit of The Master’s golf tournament. I’m not a big of golf, but it was intriguing. The players are so skilled. But even with all their ability and experience, several of them hit their golf ball and it veered off in a direction they didn’t want it to go and they ended up in a sand trap. They were stuck and had to take more strokes to get to the hole. It became a diversion to the goal.
As we pray, we can find ourselves in ‘prayer traps’ that redirect our prayers and our attention and our hearts to those things that are not productive or God-honoring. We run the risk of saying empty words and just going through the motions.
One-sided prayer:
Have you ever had a conversation with someone who does all the talking, doesn’t take time to ask about you or listen to what is important in your life, and then finishes the conversation and goes off as if all is good. You’re left feeling unimportant, unheard, and kind of used.
When we only approach God for our needs and wants without addressing Him, glorifying and worshipping Him, and listening to Him, we are really having a one-sided conversation that fails to step into the fullness of prayer. Prayer is a sweet communion between us and God. We shouldn’t cheat ourselves out of the blessing of hearing from God and worshipping His greatness.
“‘These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.”
Matthew 15:8
Expecting Quick Delivery:
Too often we fall into a pattern of treating prayer like a fast-food drive through. We pull up, place our order and then wait (impatiently) for our order to be handed to us in a matter of moments or, at the least, days. It becomes impersonal and selfish. We asked for it, God should deliver it, right?
“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance
about what we do not see.”
Hebrews 11:1
God proves His faithfulness over and over. Sometimes He takes us to the brink only to show His greatness in ways that will crush any doubt and fill our hearts with unwavering commitment to Him.
God could have delivered the Israelites after one plague, but He didn’t. But why? He knew we needed the testimony and power of ten plagues in the process of God’s deliverance. He wanted a powerful story that would last for thousands of years and be recounted through generations to remind His children of His goodness, protection, and deliverance. He wanted us to have every Red Sea, manna from heaven, water from the rock moment to bolster our faith and remind us of His faithfulness, His power, His plan.
Without the testimony of God’s powerful deliverance, we would be spoiled believers who use God for our own means rather than being surrendered believers, relying on Him for our every breath and life.
An Attitude of “Deserving”:
Another trap we fall into is the ‘deserving’ trap. We buy into the performative posture. Because we ‘do’, we ‘deserve’. We view our value to God based on what we accomplish for Him- teaching Sunday School, evangelizing, leading worship, writing a blog or speaking to gatherings, the list goes on. But God wants relationships, not performance. He wants authenticity, not production. He doesn’t redeem us so we can be producers, He redeems us so we can worship Him and be in fellowship with Him.
“He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done,
but because of His mercy.”
Titus 3:5a
We are God’s family, not His employees. When we talk to God, He wants us to approach Him as our Father, not our HR rep. Begin with a mindset that fully understands the depth of mercy He’s lavished on us. That changes our mindset, our posture, our heart. We were devastatingly lost in our sin, yet He died for us to redeem us. He loved us in even when we were in our detestable state of sin, drowning in darkness, unworthy, without merit, and without hope.
Are we deserving? No. Is He gracious and merciful? Absolutely. Remember that as you approach Him in prayer.
A Pattern for Prayer
King David gives us a great pattern for prayer throughout the Psalms. Is this the only way to pray? No, but it’s a great example and actually one that Jesus followed in the Lord’s prayer. Let’s take a look:
First, exalt God.
“I will bless the LORD at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul will make its boast in the LORD; the humble will hear it and rejoice. O magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt His name together.”
Psalm 34:1-3
Before you ask for anything, focus on God’s character and nature. Spend time in worship and praise of Who He is. Set your heart and mind in the right posture to begin an authentic, effective conversation with the Almighty. He already knows what you will ask and what weighs heavily on your heart. Don’t rush into the requests. Take time to rest in Who He is. Don’t simply be a consumer.
“Ascribe to the LORD, O families of nations, ascribe to the LORD glory and strength. Ascribe to the LORD the glory due His name; bring an offering and come into His courts.”
Psalm 96:7-8
Recall His works and wonders.
“Come and hear, all who fear God, and I will tell of what He has done for my soul.”
Psalm 66:16
Thank Him for the Red Sea rescue, for the widow’s oil that didn’t run out, for being the God who stood and triumphed against the hundred prophets of Baal, the God who healed leprosy, crippled legs, blind eyes and deaf ears, the God who defeated death and paid for sin with His own life. Record those miracles and wonders from scripture so you have a go-to list to remind yourself of His power and provision. List the amazing things God’s done for you and shown you and thank Him for them. Remind yourself of His greatness and provision. It sets the tone for your upcoming requests and reminds you that nothing is too hard for Him. He sees. He hears. He acts. Believe Him.
“LORD, I have heard of your fame; I stand in awe of your deeds, LORD. Repeat them in our day, in our time make them known; in wrath remember mercy.”
Habakkuk 3:2
Surrender yourself to Him, ensure your heart is right.
Confess any lingering sin or offense. Scripture tells us again and again that our heart condition is important to God.
“If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened;”
Psalm 66:18
If we want effective communion with the Lord, we need to ensure there is nothing that stands between us and Him.
“The LORD is far from the wicked, but he hears the prayer of the righteous.”
Proverbs 15:29
Humble yourself before the Lord. Allow Him to reveal what needs to be confessed. Let Him show you if there are idols that need to be displaced. Ask Him to soften your heart and make it right with Him.
“For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”
1 Peter 3:12
Pray
Pour out your heart to the One Who created you.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”
Philippians 4:6
Throughout Scripture there are many different descriptions of prayer from crying out to quietly meditating. Prayer can be shouting in grief or joy, and interceding for ourselves and others. There is no ‘right’ volume or words. When we pray, we step past the veil into a spiritual realm that we cannot see but our spirits understand and where Jesus is our High Priest. He advocates for us in ways that no other will. He loves us. He protects us. He provides. Take time to dwell in that space and enjoy His presence.
Wait in hope
God always answers. Always. But His timing does not match our own. He exists outside of time and space and He holds all of history that has been and is yet to come in His scope as He works. Everything He does is interwoven with Who He is and with His plan for mankind. Trust His work.
“I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope.”
Psalm 130:5
When we had children, it wasn’t simply to ‘get a child’ but to grow that relationship, watch how they learned, explored, and deepened their understanding of themselves, their family, and the world. The answer to our prayer for a child wasn’t just in the delivery (whether by birth or adoption) but in the unfolding of the whole experience of parenthood.
Prayer is similar. We should not just be there for the answer, but for the unfolding of the process and how it grows us. Waiting in hope deepens our faith. It shows us the depths of God’s love, care, and faithfulness- His ‘hesed’ (Hebrew). Hesed is God’s covenant faithfulness, His powerful merciful kindness that has our best at the heart of His work and His ways. Everything God does is ultimately pointed toward His will and plan to bring everything under His authority and rule, to bring Shalom- to set everything at one again, a step back to the garden before the fall. As you wait, remind yourself of the words “shalom” and “hesed”. There is purpose in the waiting. Don’t let your impatience and your longing overshadow His work.
Journal
How often do we hear or experience something and say “That’s something I’ll never forget!”, and yet, we do forget. Those powerful examples that God gives us often become dim or clouded when we’re desperate, struggling, longing for an answer. Journaling is a testament not only to ourselves, but to those who follow. It is a legacy of faith that attests to what God has done and how we learned to follow after Him. Because, if we’re honest, though we pray for answers to our prayers, our deepest longing is more of Him. When we stand in eternity, we won’t cling to that car, that job, that friend or family member, we will cling to Jesus and praise Him.
“We have heard with our ears, O God; our fathers have told us what You did in their days, in days long ago. It was not with their sword that they won the land, nor did their arm bring them victory; it was Your right hand, Your arm, for you loved them.”
Psalm 44:2-3
We want to ensure we leave a Godly heritage for our children and pass along generational blessings. What a treasure to have a record of what God did in a life!
“But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD’s love is with those who fear Him, and His righteousness with their children’s children—with those who keep His covenant and remember to obey His precepts.”
Psalm 103:17-18
Prayer is a beautiful, powerful communion with God that can take you deeper into fellowship with Him and strengthen your faith. There is no ‘perfect’ way to pray. God just wants to talk with you. Step into that conversation and listen for His voice.
I’ve created a printable you can use for this format of prayer. There are two versions, fancy or plain. Feel free to print them and share them. My prayer is that it will help you grow in your prayer life and deepen and enrich your time with the Lord.
Pray without ceasing, friends!
A Phone Call in the Night
“It was a dark and stormy night.”
Last Thursday night was truly a dark and stormy night. Spring weather in the midwest USA can be tumultuous and unpredictable. My husband and I sat watching the weather reports as storms moved into our area and severe cells began showing rotation with potential for tornadoes. As many midwesterners would understand, we made sure we had our shoes on in case we needed to make a run for the tornado shelter. My 10pm bedtime came and went and I was still awake. Then my phone rang. It was our youngest daughter. Her voice was a little hard to hear as she said “I was on my way home on the highway and got hit.” It was her birthday and she’d driven to the city to meet friends for the evening and to celebrate turning 24. She sounded shaken and uncertain with traffic noise in the background and rain pouring down.
As a mom, my mind raced through all the things, “where is she?”, “is she okay?” “what do we need to do?” She said she was alright but needed a ride home because her car wasn’t driveable. That brought more concern, how ‘not driveable’ was it? We sprang up from our seats, concern over the weather now a distant thought. We grabbed our wallets and headed to the car- thinking enough to grab a raincoat and a coat for our daughter as well. We prayed as we got onto the road that the Lord would keep her safe, protect her from harm, give us clear travel and hold off the weather. “Lord, protect her life.”
She was nearly 40 miles away, in a limited access construction zone that was only accessible by exiting the highway and getting into the westbound lanes and waiting in the miles-long backup caused by the accident. We were told to pull up to the accident site, on the highway, in the midst of the chaos. As we crawled through the traffic, our patience was tested. All I wanted to do was see my girl, affirm to my own eyes that she was okay. After what seemed like forever, we finally saw the emergency lights and made our way up to the accident. As soon as we stopped I jumped out and saw her walking toward me, safe and well. Praise God! I looked around and saw a semi truck, a flatbed tow truck and then, I saw the car…or what was left of it.
It was in that moment that God showed me the power of prayer and that our prayers are never wasted, never unheard, never pointless. My daughter was whole and unharmed save some bruises and sore muscles. The Lord guarded her life in so many ways.
Sometimes we may wonder what effect our prayers actually have- does God even hear us? Does He really respond? Then God gives us a glimpse of His working. He does hear and He sees our love for our children and He loves them too. He is always watching over them.
The officer in charge smiled kindly and told us there was nothing more we needed to do and the car would be towed to a local wrecking yard. We got back into our car, made our way back into the flow of traffic and began the trip home.
The story unfolded as we drove home, she was the second car in a 4 vehicle chain reaction crash, the first and last vehicles being semi trucks. She had plenty of room as the truck in front of her braked fast and hard, and the tow truck behind her did as well, but the semi truck at the rear of the line couldn’t stop and plowed into the tow truck who then hit our daughter’s car and pushed her into the front semi. As we listened we understood even more how God protected her life.
The days that followed brought more details and then a visit to the wrecking yard to gather her belongings. When we asked how the car looked in the daylight all she responded was, “Bad, bad, bad.” We recognized the goodness of God, yet again. The car was so beyond repair, but it did what it was designed to do- it saved her life in a crash. She is a living, walking testimony of the goodness and protection of the Lord (and the wise design of Toyota- thank you!)
It’s amazing, (but not surprising) to see how God aligns His messages and His word to everyday life. I’ve been studying 1 Samuel and this week’s lesson had me read 1 Samuel 25 and one verse jumped out at me because it was such a beautiful picture of God’s protection. I Samuel 25:29, “If men rise up to pursue you and to seek your life, the life of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of the living in the care of the LORD your God. And the lives of your enemies he shall sling out as from the hollow of a sling.”
The backstory to that verse is that David was being pursued by Saul, the King of Israel. Saul wanted to kill David. All of Saul’s men, his loyal followers, were part of the pursuit. David was on the run, cut off from connection with his family, from fellowship, sacrifice and offering at the tabernacle. He was exiled and hunted. His life was in danger on every side.
The enemy had an agenda…you see if David was destroyed, the line of David would be erased and the Messiah would be thwarted (or so Satan thought). There was much at stake that even David didn’t recognize, but his heart was tender to God. David had to surrender himself to God’s plan and trust His protection. He was in the storm, on the run, but he trusted that God had a plan. He was God’s anointed.
In 1 Samuel 25, Abigail reminded David of the Source of his protection. She said, “If men rise up to pursue you and to seek your life, the life of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of the living in the care of the LORD your God. And the lives of your enemies he shall sling out as from the hollow of a sling.” 1 Samuel 25:29
That line resonated with me, “The life of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of the living in the care of the LORD your God.” There is so much that pursues our sons and daughters. The enemy wants to incapacitate them, he wants to eliminate their influence, diminish or remove their testimony, and snuff out their potential. He wants to keep them from the mission God has established and he wants to poison their fruit.
David could have been distracted by the others around him, by the difficult circumstances, by pride, by hardship, but he kept His focus on God and God sent others to remind him of his purpose and to protect his integrity.
So often situations in life mirror our spiritual walk. As our daughter drove on the highway, she could have been distracted by the other drivers going too fast in that construction zone. She could have been consumed by her thoughts, worries, or even fiddling with the ‘entertainment’ in the car. But instead she stayed focused on what was ahead of her. She was mindful of the storm outside. She stayed in her lane, not wandering back and forth. She remained steady to what she knew would keep her safe if the unthinkable began to unfold. Are our sons and daughters mindful of the storm? Are they cautious of those around them who might cause them to ‘crash’? Are they taking care to ensure they are following the Lord and not wandering or veering off the narrow road?
We can raise our sons and daughters with caution and care. We can do our best to protect them from negative influences. We can do all the things to ensure their life is protected (we can put them in the safest car.) But there is nothing more powerful we can do than to ask the Lord to surround them and hold them close. When we ask God to bind them in the bundle of the living in the care of the Lord our God, the omnipotent One whose ways and will cannot be thwarted, we are protecting them in the strongest way. When God does that, they are held securely by Him, held closely to Himself, for safe-keeping. Nothing can touch them out of His will. I love that symbolism. Ponder that for a moment.
Our daughter was bound in the bundle of the living in the care of the Lord our God. That is what preserved her life. God has a purpose for her. He chose, on her 24th birthday, to give her life again. He has a plan. All of our efforts mean nothing if He is not in it. Had the semi truck been going faster, had the tow truck been even closer, had the first semi not begun moving before the initial crash, we could be grieving a much different outcome. But our sweet girl was bound in the bundle of the living in the care of the Lord our God.
I ask for nothing better for my sons and daughters- Lord bind them close to You! Today, you should pray the same. Trust God for the care of your children. Trust that He has a plan that outsmarts the enemy, outmaneuvers the obstacles of this world, and surrounds them with spiritual and physical protection that is far beyond what we could generate or orchestrate. God is mighty. His protection is invincible. He has a plan and we need to trust Him.
“Heavenly Father, thank You for Your powerful hand of protection over my children. Your mercy is more than we deserve and you give it to us daily, new every morning. I pray that You would remind me daily of Your guiding hand and open my eyes to see Your kindness, Your goodness, Your powerful protection each and every day. I pray, too, that (name) would recognize Your hand in their life. Help them to see that not a moment, not a breath is guaranteed and each is a gift from You in line with Your plan for their life. I know You have a plan, Lord. I trust that You will protect and preserve (name) so they will be able to fulfill what You have for them to do. Help them to be surrendered to You and obedient to Your will. Keep them walking faithfully with you, not straying to the left or the right. Protect them from others who would influence the in the wrong ways. Remove distractions that would take their focus off of You. Lord, there is nothing better I can do to keep them from harm than to give them to You and trust Your shield about them. Help us, as parents, to give our sons and daughters to You. Take away our fear. Free us from worry that consumes our thoughts and keeps us from fully trusting You. Remind us of Your omnipotent power. You are the Lord of the storm-both physical and spiritual. Be our shelter and our safe place. Guard and guide us. Keep us in the center of Your will and under the shadow of Your wings. Bind (name) in the bundle of the living in Your care, oh LORD my God. Show Yourself powerful to protect and preserve (name) today and in the days ahead, in Jesus’ name, amen.”
God’s Children Rebelled, Too
God knows and understands what it’s like to have children who rebel. He had rebellious children, too.
Isaiah 1:2 “Hear, O Heavens! Listen, O Earth! For the LORD has spoken: “I reared children and brought them up, but they have rebelled against me,”
God kept His promise to Abraham to make him, his offspring Israel, into a great nation.
Genesis 12:2 “And I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you; I will make your name great and you will be a blessing.”
Yet, in their greatness, they turned from God. It was a pattern- He would bless, they would praise, then they would become distracted, prideful and selfish. They would lose sight of God. He would chastise, they would return and for a while, be faithful, then it would cycle once again.
The Israelites knew what God expected of them. They understood His commands. Each day they would make sacrifices, but it simply became an act of going through the motions- a show of obedience when there was no willingness to worship Him. Their heart was not in it.
That’s why God told them “Stop bringing meaningless offerings!” Isaiah 1:13
As parents, our greatest prayer is that our sons and daughters would commit their heart and life to Christ. And our hearts are burdened when our sons and daughters don’t choose to follow Jesus and make Him Lord of their life. We were diligent to bring them up in the knowledge of the Lord. We took them to church, encouraged them to attend youth group, maybe Awana, Young Life, or Youth for Christ. But at some point, our children must make the decision for themselves. Who will they live for? Who will they serve? Being raised by believing parents is no guarantee that the children will choose to follow Jesus in faith. And when they choose a different path, our hearts are broken. Where did we go wrong? What should we have said, done, changed? Often we struggle with questions, doubts, and regret. But we need to remember, each one must choose for themselves. Though we parent adult children differently, we still pray as if they were our beloved little ones. And isn’t that how God looks at us? His little ones?
Joshua put the decision before the Israelites to state clearly who they would choose to serve:
“But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve,” Joshua 24:15a
Too often we (and I do mean all of us) get prideful and rebellious. We don’t want to be told what to do. We want to make our own decisions, be the captain of our own ship. The dialogue in our mind says, “You’re not the boss of me!” We reach a level of knowledge and experience that boosts our ego and our pride. And Satan loves it. He leads us on, feeds us thoughts and feelings that bolster our independent spirit. He lures us with the illusion of freedom from oppression when in reality, He is slowly binding us with the chains of slavery to sin. But we don’t see it.
Israel knew how to keep up appearances. They knew the language, the routines, the rituals, and the expectations. They could go through the motions. But God saw their heart and called them out on their lack of sincerity.
“But concerning Israel he says, “All day long I have held out my hands to a disobedient and obstinate people.”” Romans 10:21, Isaiah 65:2
Kids raised in church also know how to play the part. They know the words to say and the actions that demonstrate belief. But the heart is where the real truth resides. They see the truth of their own heart condition and it’s their decision as to where its affections will be directed.
Parenting adult children is challenging. Young people reach the age of knowing everything, right? They know better than their parents because they understand the trends, have the latest information, and are not ‘antiquated’ in their thinking. They're smart, switched on and progressive... they’re also deceived, prideful, and lost. They are easily entangled and led astray because of pride and foolishness.
We need to pray that God would call out our sons and daughters on their sincerity of heart toward Him. We cannot be their Holy Spirit. In fact, the more we address it, the greater the risk they will pull away and stop talking to us. We need to be thoughtful in our words, our timing, and our intention. We can’t change their heart- only God can. In our angst and urgency, we need to surrender our own expectations and timeline to the Lord- a living sacrifice to His will and His way. It’s better. It’s perfect. It’s sufficient. We need to trust Him.
No sin is too great and no distance too far. Nothing is too hard for Him. He can soften the hardest heart, unstop the deafest ears, and move the immoveable. Not us. God and God alone.
Here’s the thing, Israel’s rebellion meant the gospel came to the Gentiles. Think about that. God extended His mercy and grace to those who were not His children and He adopted us into His family and called us His children. He’s given us an inheritance. He put His Holy Spirit into us and marked us as His own, never to be snatched out of His hand. We are included in Abraham’s promise!!
God wastes nothing. There is a much bigger plan at play here. Although it is about your son or daughter, there are so many facets of the situation and individuals who are unknowingly part of God’s plan. Perhaps there is another who will come to Christ because of the current rebellion of your son or daughter. Maybe God will use this rebellion to soften more than just the heart of your loved one. Maybe, just maybe, God will use this season of rebellion to prepare your son or daughter for a powerful ministry that reaches many for Christ. Pray. It is what you can do and no one can stop you.
God understands the rebellious heart and He made a way to reconcile that heart to His own. Don’t spend all your time fussing and worrying about the ‘what if’ or the sin that entangles. You know it’s there. God knows it’s there. He can undo it. Pray:
That God would soften their heart
“For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12
That God would bring believers into your son or daughters life who would speak truth into them
“And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.” 1 Thessalonians 5:14
That their eyes would be opened and their ears unstopped
“I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you,” Ephesians 1:18a
For conviction of sin
“Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.” 2 Corinthians 7:10
That God would stir a longing for fellowship with Him- that they would hunger and thirst for righteousness
“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.” Matthew 5:6
That they would not resist the Holy Spirit
“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.” Ezekiel 36:36-37
God loves our sons and daughters even more than we do and He desires a relationship with them. He wants to be their Father, their Lord, their Savior and their Friend. He wants to give peace, joy, and fulfillment. He wants to remove their heart of stone and replace it with a heart of flesh, one that is soft and pliable to His ways and desires to worship and serve Him.
Only He can do that.
Today, pray through the scriptures above. Ask God to work in their heart and bring them to salvation in Jesus. Trust Him that He will work according to His will, in His time, and in His mighty power. Praise Him for what He will do!
Perhaps in reading this, you’ve realized that you need Jesus? Scripture says we’ve all sinned and fall short of the glory of God- even the kindest, most generous person cannot make themselves worthy of God and heaven (Romans 3:23) But God made a way! He gave Jesus to be the perfect, sinless sacrifice, once for all- we don’t need to keep sacrificing, Jesus paid it all! His death on the cross satisfied the wrath of God towards our sin. (Romans 6:10).
If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. (Romans 10:9) God tells us that, “All are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. (Romans 3:24-25) It is for everyone- there is no sin too great that God will not forgive.
All you need to do is confess and believe. Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.”” Romans 10:11
Simply pray this prayer: “Lord Jesus, I know that I am a sinner- from things I’ve thought, said, and done that are wrong. But I believe you died on the cross for my sin, paying the price so that I don’t have to. I believe you were buried and you rose again on the third day. I believe you sit in heaven at the right hand of God, advocating for me. And I believe when God looks on me, He sees You and Your blood that covers my sin. Please forgive me and be my Lord and Savior. Help me to live for You. I pray that the Holy Spirit would work in me to teach me, guide me, and protect me from spiritual attack. I look forward to standing in Your presence one day, redeemed, your beloved child. Thank you for forgiveness, for hope, and for life beyond the grave. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
If you prayed that prayer, send me a message! I would love to encourage you and pray for you!
Are you looking for a great Christmas gift? Consider 40 Days of Prayer for the Prodigal. This is a 40 day journey of prayer through Scripture and journaling that guides the reader in praying God’s word over the prodigal heart. Available on Amazon
I’m praying that you all have a blessed Christmas and a wonderful New Year. Thanks for following this year!
Join the PAC is taking a break, but will return in January 2026 with new devotionals and prayers to encourage parents as they pray! Cling tightly, love deeply, and follow Jesus with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.
Helping Our Children Grieve Well
“Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and body with grief.” Psalm 31:9
No one wants to see their child grieve, it’s heart-breaking. As parents, we just want to ease the pain and reassure them all will be well. We want to see them have joy once again. It’s a helpless feeling and a difficult process to witness. It’s one of those parenting things that no one prepares you for, yet it happens to all of us.
Whether it be the end of a relationship, a broken engagement, the loss of a friendship, the death of a loved one, or the collapse of a dream, it’s all painful and there is little we can do to make it better. Grief is deep and the pain can be life-altering. We need to be careful that we don’t gloss over it with a sweet “it’ll be okay, there will be others” response. We have to be respectful of their experience and carry their grief and sorrow with care. Even if we know for certain that it won’t be a lasting grief, in the moment it is all-consuming and to lighten it with insensitive comments can erode the trust our sons and daughters have for us.
Perhaps it’s grief over sin. We don’t often consider that as part of a grieving process, but it is certainly a valid and Biblical point. Matthew 5:4, “Blessed are those who mourn” isn’t addressing the death of a loved one, but grief over sin. When we mourn our sin, we align our heart with God’s, Whose grief over man’s sin propelled Him to the cross to pay the penalty for our sin and offer a way of redemption and restoration with God.
As difficult as grief is, we also don’t want to avoid it- God brought it for a purpose. He made our emotions and we are made in His image. We want to help our sons and daughters embrace grief mindfully and process it well.
The grieving process can be equated to crossing a bridge. It’s the transition from what was, the ‘old’ settled place, to what is happening right now- the new, unfamiliar and unsettled place in process, shaky and unfamiliar, to the hope of what will one day be a new normal, a resettledness that, although different, feels comfortable and okay. The catch is, we don’t always recognize that process, nor do we tend to manage it intentionally. Too often we let grief run its course, carrying us along as it does. We become a passenger of its ebb and flow, helpless, just waiting until it settles.
https://www.traininternational.org/blog/blog-post-bridge-of-transition
It’s important that when our sons and daughters grieve (and they will) that we are cognizant of the process (pictured in the graphic above) and we encourage them effectively through each stage. It’s especially crucial in that ‘in between’ stage, because that is often when the anger, depression, and deep loss are felt most keenly and where the one grieving can be struggling the most. It is where the loss is manifested in confusion and hard emotions and it is when our sons and daughters will need wise, effective support.
We can’t just tell them to get over it, to ‘keep calm and carry on’. We have to be intentional in what we say and how we encourage. We may not be able to empathize, but we can show compassion, we can be a source of strength and encouragement, and we can pray them through it.
https://www.adaptconsultingcompany.com/2023/11/01/the-bridges-transition-model/
Grief is a response to the loss of someone or something for which we held a deep love and sense of purpose. Grief can accompany a move from one place to another, a job change, a closed door or the end of a chapter in life. Many MK kids (and even PKs and military kids) experience this grieving process when they move to a new mission field, change churches or change duty stations or leave their home abroad to return to the US for university. It's letting go of what was, even if you’re not ready. It's embracing what lies ahead, even if you don’t want to. It’s the losses. It’s all the goodbyes and farewells, knowing that you may never return. It is one thing to leave home…it’s another to leave and know you will never return to that place. That’s hard to accept. Yet Jesus is in it all- of course He is. He is Sovereign. He is Omnipresent. He is LORD.
As believers, we sometimes chide ourselves for sad or angry emotions, those shown in the ‘leaving, chaos, and in-between’ stages. But, emotions are not sin. Scripture shows us examples of so many of these. Consider Elijah who was burnt out and overwhelmed in dealing with the abuse and resistance of Ahab and Jezebel. God didn’t chide him, He cared for him and gave him rest and nourishment. Consider Naomi, who grieved her husband and sons. God didn't take her to task for grieving, He brought others alongside to walk through the grief with her, Ruth and later, Boaz. Then He blessed her with Obed, a sweet grandson who restored Naomi’s hope and joy.
Emotions are not sin, but wallowing in them and allowing them to become our god is sin. When we allow emotions to rule and overcome us so that they are all we’re focused on and they are what directs our thoughts and our actions, that is sin. When we allow them to be the excuse for bad behavior, bad attitudes, and justification for rebellion, it is sin.
Understand, too, deep grief IS all-consuming. And it goes hand in hand with overwhelming, long-lasting emotions. There is no prescripted, appropriate length of time, after which those emotions settle and evaporate. The process is different for each one. How we choose to handle the process is key.
So what can a parent do?
Identify where your son or daughter is in the grieving process. If parents can take a step back and understand where they are in the grief journey, it can give perspective and guide the support and encouragement.
Support them mindfully. When they’re ready, help your son or daughter honestly look at the transition bridge and identify where they are in it. Helping them to see that what they’re experiencing is normal and there is an end to the chaos and confusion that accompanies grief can help them be a bit more mindful of the emotions they’re experiencing and why. Help them to recognize that there is a progression and they’re not just ‘stuck’. If they have context for what is happening, it can provide some reassurance and hope.
Encourage your children to talk to Jesus, to tell Him all that they’re feeling and how overwhelmed they are with it all. He already knows, but opening that communication with Him enables them to begin to listen to Him. It helps them be honest with what they’re thinking and feeling. Far too often, we bury our grief, hide it from others because it’s not well-received or others don’t understand. We put on a mask to pretend everything is okay. God is in the midst of the process and He has a purpose in it. But that is yet to be seen. Pointing to that fact too soon may exaggerate the difficult emotions. It’s a realization that the grieving one has to recognize in time. Talking to Jesus begins a healing process. Tell them to pray out loud, pray while they’re walking, pray prostrate, pray anytime, anywhere. Open communication with the Lord will begin to transform their heart and mind.
So, how can we manage the grief and the transition from what was to what is to what will be?
Take every thought captive. Much of the battle of grief and depression is fought in the mind. This is not a ‘mind over matter’ approach. That is a tendency to ignore or suppress thoughts and emotions. No, the one grieving needs to acknowledge the emotions and work through them, but they also must be intentional to set their mind on things above (Col. 3). That’s hard in the grieving process and it takes time. Grief makes us vulnerable in so many ways. We need to be intentional that we are spiritually protected and not an easy target for the enemy.
Identify where your hope is anchored. If your hope is set on the resolution or the healing, it is misplaced. When we hope for an outcome, we are far too often disappointed, disillusioned, and crushed once again. Outcomes are inconsistent, they change, they rarely result in what we hope for or imagine. No, our hope must be anchored in Christ, the Eternal One, the All-Sufficient One, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. He is unchanging…and isn’t that where we want our hope secured? Hope is the eager expectation of something good, and if we know our Bible, we know that this world is not where that is delivered. God’s good is stored up for us in eternity. We have treasure in Heaven, we are part of His family and He’s prepared a place for us to live eternally with Him. When we know Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, He strengthens and equips us to endure the hardship here because we know He redeems everything and makes beauty out of ashes. He will wipe away every tear. When our hope is anchored in Jesus, we have a steady, unchanging, eternal hope that can weather any storm.
Finally, we must worship in our grief. Worshipping in grief can be a sweet, restorative time between the griever and the Savior. There is something healing about being outside in nature. All of creation knows its Creator and if we sit and listen, we can hear the response of creation to Him. Listen to the wind in the trees, the song of the birds, the chirp and hum of the crickets and bugs. Psalm 96:12 says “Let the fields be jubilant, and everything in them; let all the trees of the forest sing for joy.” and Psalm 148 calls for all creation to praise the Lord. Darkness and light cannot dwell together. Shut out the noise of the world. Allow the Spirit to speak to your heart. Praise drives away the darkness and helps us refocus our hearts and minds on the Lord. Time outside, spent listening to creation, reading Psalms, and even listening to praise and worship music can be healing.
Grieving can make us more like Jesus. That’s not usually something someone in grief wants to hear, yet, `Jesus was a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief. He knew the loss of a loved one; His father, Joseph, died at some point during Jesus’ earthly life. God can use grief to deepen our understanding of Him. Deep love for humanity and the grief over sin is what brought Jesus to the cross. God understands our grief and can use it for our good and for His glory.
Don’t be afraid to embrace grief as a gift. Pray for your sons and daughters to embrace it well, to be submitted to the Lord and His refining process, and to praise Him that He is Present and working through it all. He has not abandoned you and He will not. Though we cannot see a way forward, He is the way-maker. Trust Him, lean into Him. Cling tightly.
“Father, grief is so painful. I know you understand because you watched Your Son grieve- the rejection of His peers, the loss of His earthly father, the betrayal of those closest to Him- Peter’s denial three times while He was being beaten and wrongly accused- all of those and so many more. How did You watch and not intervene? Your love for us enabled You to allow your Son to suffer. It was for Your glory and our good. Lord, I hate to see (name) suffer. Yet I know it is in the hard, painful times that we grow closer to You, we understand Your heart more clearly and we deepen our faith. Father, give (name) hope…no just temporary hope, but deep, abiding hope in Jesus. Help (name) to have assurance that no matter what happens here, You have a purpose and a plan forward. Surround them with other believers who will speak into their life, or who will be a quiet strength to support them through the grief. Lord, bring Scripture to mind that will encourage them and help them set their mind on things above. I pray, Holy Spirit, that You would be the Comforter they need, reassuring them that, although things feel out of control, You are very much in control and You are tempering everything that touches them, even the hard and painful things. Oh, Jesus, I know You understand. You are a Man of sorrow, acquainted with grief. You took on all of our sin, our pain, our shame. You carried this grief that (name) is walking through long before the situation ever occured. We can trust You. I pray that You would increase (name)’s faith and trust today. Give me discernment to support them well. Guard my mouth so that the words I speak would bring encouragement, salt, and light. Guide my steps so that the actions I take would be helpful and supportive. Lord, give light to this situation so that we can see Your hand at work and praise you for it. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
Pray without ceasing.
The Time that Remains
As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more. Psalm 103:15-16
Last week our news feeds were suddenly filled with the tragic stories of two different plane crashes. The first involved a military helicopter that collided with a passenger jet in Washington D.C.. It left 67 dead and the Potomac River filled with debris and the bodies of so many individuals whose lives held so much promise. Then, just two days later, a Learjet taking off on a medical flight plummeted to the ground at high speeds. The crash filled a busy street in Philadelphia, leaving a scene unlike people had ever witnessed. Cars and houses were burned and a crater and scattered debris was all that remained of the plane.
All told, 73 lives were lost and countless families were sent into a spiral of grief and disbelief. Both tragedies hit close to home here. The first in D.C. took the life of a student from a university at which I have many ties. The loss is felt keenly. The second happened in my hometown of Philadelphia, where so many who I know and love live and work, some close to the scene.
None of those 73 people knew that day would be their last. All had plans and dreams. Many were athletes, competing to earn their spot in the national and world rankings with hopes of the Olympics someday. Others were professionals, making a mark in their field and working to make a difference. They were sons and daughters, sisters and brothers, mothers and fathers all making their way to their destination with plans for the next day and appointments in their agenda. But it all stopped. Suddenly. Without warning. Life ceased abruptly. And those left behind are left wondering, weeping, and asking ‘what if’ questions that can’t change the outcome. Each one has a story. Each one was loved. Each one needed to know Jesus as their Savior. Some did. Others, likely did not. And that is the real tragedy.
When each traveler stepped foot onto their respective flight, none of them knew their time was short. They each expected to exit their plane on their own two feet, headed toward the baggage claim. Instead, their bodies were recovered and identified, families were notified, and grieving began to take hold. When we stop to think about it, it’s disturbing. It’s unfair. It’s heartbreaking. And the eternal consequences are sobering.
What if we had some idea of the time that remains…of our own or of others? Would we prioritize differently? Would we be bolder? More joyful? Would we have a sense of urgency to tell others about Christ? How would we live differently? Oh friends, none of us knows how long we have, yet we often fall into the lull of the ordinary and of expecting the expected and doing what was planned. If we knew that the time that remained was limited, I suspect that we might change what we choose to do and say so that we make the most of the time God gives us.
As parents, we help prepare our kids for the future. We send them to school, we help them define goals. We give them guidance on a degree, a career, a relationship. But when do we take time to talk to them about the temporary nature of life here in this current reality on Earth? We do talk about eternal life, but far too often that’s removed from the reality of today. It’s a ‘someday’ thing, but rarely do we talk about it as a ‘could be today’ thing. And far too often our children have an invincible perspective that doesn’t acknowledge the reality of the brevity of life here.
For each of those passengers, their last day was the regular day that became their entrance into eternity. Were they ready? Did they consider their souls as much as they considered their boarding pass? Were they mindful that there is more to life than what is lived here and now?
Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. James 4:14
It’s time to begin talking about eternity today with our sons and daughters. Bring it into the conversation. It’s important to recognize that at any moment, we can step from ‘here’ to ‘hereafter’ and we change dimensions, but also at that moment, our faith becomes sight! There should be anticipation, not dread, and preparation, not procrastination. We should be so ready to meet Jesus that we step into eternity and into the arms of Jesus with a joyful gasp and cry of delight!
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade--kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. I Peter 1:3-5
To think that there are so many people who wouldn’t have the relationship with Jesus to be able to imagine that scene is heartbreaking. Too many people are unsure of what awaits after death. Some believe that death is the end, there is nothing, they simply cease to exist. Others ‘hope for the best’ but have no assurance. But we, as believers in Christ, KNOW for sure that we have eternal security with Jesus in heaven. Why wouldn’t we feel compelled to share the hope we have in Christ?!
Romans 10:9-11, 13, “That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. As the Scripture says, "Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame." "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."
We need to model for our sons and daughters what it is to use the time that remains in a way that honors God and shares the hope of salvation with others.
This week, let’s pray that the Holy Spirit leads and gives us the words to share the gospel with someone. Don’t force it, but let the Spirit lead. Pray that He would give our sons and daughters the words to share with others around them! Be mindful of the time that remains, both for you and for others. Whether God calls us home or Jesus returns to claim His Bride, the Church, we have a job to do and an urgency to use the time well. Let’s pray that our sons and daughters do the same.
Romans 10:14, 17 How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.
Let’s pray together:
“Oh, Lord, You created us in Your image to be Your vessels, yet so often we take matters into our own hands, or we lose sight of our calling to make Your name known. We waste time or worry over time when You are Lord of time and we are Your servants. I pray that You would give us boldness this week to share Jesus with others. I pray for (name) that You would help them gain perspective of the time that remains. None of us know how long we have. Oh that (name) would live for You each moment! Help (name) to share Jesus with others unashamedly, boldly, and with joy. Lord, they need to know You!! They need to have hope for eternity and strength for today. As believers in Christ, we have that hope because we know You as our Lord and Savior. There is nothing better than the confidence and assurance we have in Christ. Give us the words and the opportunity. I pray for those grieving after the tragedies this week. Comfort them, Lord. Help them to cling tightly to You. Draw them to cry out to Jesus for salvation. Lead them into green pastures where they can rest and be refreshed. I pray that You would empower believers to come alongside them and share the hope of Christ. Help each of us to stand strong in these last days and boldly proclaim the gospel in our words and actions. Help us to live rightly in ways that bring glory to Jesus. In His name I pray, amen.”
Prodigal Prayer
“Heavenly Father, my precious prodigal (name) is headed for eternal disaster without Christ. They are oblivious to the dangers or maybe they just don’t care. Holy Spirit, speak to their heart and mind today. Help them to recognize they are in desperate need of a Savior and that Jesus died for their sin so they could live eternally. I pray that you would sober them with the realization that time is short and they must decide who they will serve. Lord, open their eyes to see the reality of their destination without Christ and the hope and salvation that comes with surrendering their heart to Him. I pray they would crave forgiveness, redemption and a hope of eternity with Him. Please, Lord, redeem the time that remains, bring them to salvation, restore the relationships that have been broken and bring joy where there is grief. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
If you don’t know Jesus as your Lord and Savior and you have questions about how to have a personal relationship with Him, reach out! I would love to share the hope of Jesus with you today!