Struggling with Words
Recently I’ve struggled with what to write on the blog. I’ve prayed, “Lord, what is it that people need to hear? What are they wrestling with? What is it they need to pray for their sons and daughters?” And words have been elusive. Oh, I’ve had plenty of ideas, good titles, and valuable Scripture that comes to mind, but when I sit down, the words don’t flow and I won’t post unless I am prompted by the Lord that it’s what He wants others to hear. I realized today, the absence or uncertainty of what to say is exactly what needs saying.
Sometimes when we pray, we just don’t have the words. We struggle to say what burdens our hearts or races in our minds. We know it, but we can’t seem to express it. We fumble. We stutter. We come up short.
The Bible tells us there is prayer for that, friends.
“Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few.” Ecclesiastes 5:2
Sometimes we need to sit with Who God is. We need to ponder His faithfulness, His Sovereignty, His eternal nature, in order to have a right mind and heart before Him. We need to be quiet. Words are not the be-all and end-all of prayer, though we’re often led to believe that. Eloquence without a right heart is empty and honestly, is no better than the Pharisees.
God sees the burdens of our heart. Nothing is hidden from Him or too deeply buried that He cannot fully understand.
“Though the LORD is exalted, he looks kindly on the lowly; though lofty, he sees them from afar. Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life. You stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes; with your right hand you save me.” Psalm 138:6-7
Though we may struggle with words, with expressing the heavy burdens and aching pain of our hearts, when we humble ourselves before the Lord and ask, the Holy Spirit intercedes for us.
“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God's people in accordance with the will of God.” Romans 8:26-27
When we don’t know what to pray, the Holy Spirit who indwells us communicates on our behalf to the Father, praying words we cannot about griefs, pains, and struggles that God sees and understands.
We must remind ourselves that God is more powerful than our struggles, pain, and hardship. He has the power to overcome. Yet, sometimes He waits. Will we wait with Him, trusting Him, or will we work against Him, pushing ahead for the resolution or rescue that we think is best?
“But you, God, see the trouble of the afflicted; you consider their grief and take it in hand. The victims commit themselves to you;” Psalm 10:14
We need to pray for His will, not our own, and then be willing to wait for it. But do we know His will? Not always, but if we surrender to Him, He will make it clear. As believers in Christ, though we may not know how a situation will be resolved or a need met, we DO know that God is Sovereign, His dominion is eternal, His will is perfect, and His plan is securely in place. We can trust Him. When we quiet our hearts before Him and intentionally pursue Him, and not this world, He reveals His will to us and helps us be at peace with it. It could be moments, days, or years, but God’s timing is unlike anything we understand or experience in our limited human capacity. If we trust His eternality, if we believe in His sovereignty, we need to rest in His timing and that His way is perfect.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2
So, this week, as you pray- or struggle to pray- do the following:
Quiet your heart before Him. Sit with Him and listen.
Exalt Him- His Supremacy, His Dominion, His Faithfulness, Power and Purpose that work on our behalf. Let your words be few.
Acknowledge that He sees you and your burdens and pain. Speak it out loud so your ears hear your heart and mind affirming your trust.
Ask the Holy Spirit to intercede for you and for your loved one. He knows where they are, what they need, and the condition of their heart. Ask Him to work as Redeemer, Great Physician, Advocate, Defender, Rescuer, and Shepherd.
Take time to meditate on Scripture. Continually point your heart and mind to the infallible Word of God, the truths that affirm His Authority and Power, the reassurance that He is fully in control.
Rest in Who He is and what He will do.
“But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,” Psalm 33:18
Pray without ceasing.
Teach Them to Love Jesus
“Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” Deuteronomy 6:5
We’ve taught our sons and daughters many things over the years, often by talking to them and repeating words and phrases and the truths of Scripture, but more often, by being an example to them. When we taught them how to tie their shoes, we didn’t just say it, we showed them- over and over, until they could do it themselves, and then we praised their efforts. We taught them how to be self-sufficient, mature, and how to live with integrity.
When it comes to teaching our sons and daughters the truths of faith, our words carry weight, but our example speaks more loudly. Friends, we need to live it out in front of them. Our words don’t have nearly as much impact as our actions, our attitudes, and the demonstration of our love and commitment to Jesus being lived out in our daily life. It cannot be “do as I say, not as I do”. They’re adults. They will do what they choose. But if we live out our faith, consistently, circumspectly, putting Jesus at the forefront, always, our lives will reflect His character and our actions will demonstrate our priority of faith. Because, if we’re honest, it’s not that we want our kids to do what we say…we want them to do what Jesus says.
Think back to your days in elementary school. Do you remember the lessons? Do you recall how you learned fractions or reading? It’s possible vague details will return, but if asked about your teacher, you would immediately begin to give a description of how your teacher interacted with you and made you feel important, seen, and valued. The teacher had a lot to say, but what impacted us was their character and actions toward us.
“I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us, then, who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you.” Philippians 3:12b-15
As we live out our Christian walk, are we investing more time and energy into words, or actions? Are we trying to convince others (especially our sons and daughters) that what we believe is right and true, or are we modeling it to them? We must be cautious because we can weary others by always trying to prove our point. Paul says “and if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you.” Paul was assuring the Philippians that by pursuing the Lord, God would make clear what is right and true. It wasn’t up to Paul and the church to correct people’s thinking. Should we speak truth? Absolutely! Can we demand or pressure others to follow it.? Not so much. It’s a heart-decision that only the Holy Spirit can motivate.
Though our sons and daughters are grown, we still feel that burden to know that they are walking with the Lord. That burden may inspire us to speak a bit too much, press a little too hard, to try and sway their thinking. But friends, we are still teaching them when we interact with them by living out our faith. We demonstrate how to be a disciple when we consistently follow the Lord, pursue personal time with Him, memorize His word and obey His commands. We model what it means to love when we are patient, kind, unselfish, and forgiving (1 Corinthians 13). We show them the strength and humility that accompanies asking forgiveness when we apologize for saying what we shouldn’t or doing something hurtful. We are not above that, at any age.
Our interaction with them says more than our words ever could. It communicates that God is what is most important to us and we will always submit to Him, making Him the head, the Lord, and the Shepherd of our hearts. He is the One to whom we surrender all of ourselves, and that will be reflected in our life, so more than in our words. Take a moment to check yourself, is that what your life demonstrates? Could others testify to it… would they?
Model Jesus to your sons and daughters at every opportunity. Let your actions speak loudly and let the Holy Spirit do His work.
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:” Philippians 2:3-5
Pray that they would love Jesus authentically and that He would be the foundation upon which they build their life.
Pray without ceasing.