Parenting is Hard, Prayer is Vital
There, I said it. It’s hard. Social media would have you believe it’s all glorious and perfect…with just little hiccups between joyful photo shoots. Nope. It’s hard. It can be painful…and ugly. But parenting is also sacred and worshipful. The Bible shows us from the start that God is our Father and He works to build into us in ways that make us more like Him. Parenting gives us that opportunity to model God’s character and selfless love. It’s not easy, but it’s beautiful and it’s valuable.
As parents, we sometimes make the mistake of thinking that if we can just get through ‘this’ stage, it will be easier. But ask any seasoned parent and they will tell you, with each new stage come new challenges and yes, new joys, too. “I can’t wait until…” is often the mantra of the battle-weary parent, the one who is overwhelmed with sleepless nights, laundry, and diapers. Then, the toddler years arrive and the child seems to have 1000 hands, boundless energy, and insatiable curiosity. I can’t wait until…. School, all the activities, sports, then driving, and dating, and before you know it, they’re off to college and then working, married, and with their own children. How did it go so fast? "I can’t wait until they’re grown and I don’t have to worry any more.” Ah, that is a faulty expectation. When you love someone, you will always carry concern for them, whether they’re 2 or 32. Each new stage of parenting brings new and often more complex prayers.
Our parenting doesn’t end when our sons and daughters become adults. But our prayers change. They move from “Lord, please let them sleep… to Lord, please wake them up, spiritually.” The early years are filled with prayers for their physical growth and safety, along with their spiritual formation. But as they grow and age, our prayer becomes even deeper because, as a parent, we no longer have the daily influence or the ability to steer them away from negative influences and dark places. Our prayers take on a deeply spiritual direction, not that they were not before, but there becomes a greater urgency and a deeper understanding of eternity and their place in it. The physical needs, although still present, are secondary to their eternal state. We feel the heaviness of their spiritual condition and direction, we battle on our knees for protection from spiritual attack, and we plead with the Lord for His intervention…and for their recognition of it.
Parenting doesn’t get ‘easier’ it just shifts to another level of support, concern, and intervention- most of it spiritual. Are you prepared for that?
Some may say, “I don’t know how to pray that way.” Oh friends, prayer isn’t just for the ‘learned’ or those who have a long faith history. Prayer is a practice, a spiritual discipline. You just do it. You start where you are and allow the Holy Spirit to guide you. You have a complete handbook to use- the Bible. A great way to begin is by praying scripture over your sons and daughters; God’s word never returns void. It is guaranteed to bear fruit.
Remember, God works outside of time and space. He sees the end from the beginning. He’s weaving people, events, places, and resources together in ways we cannot begin to comprehend all to bring about that which He wills. When we pray, we not only need to lift up our sons and daughters, but we need to pray for our own heart, that we would be surrendered to what God wants and that He would align our desires with His will. Be cautious. Too often we pray with an answer or conclusion in mind. Let God lead.
Today, let’s do just that. Let’s pray Philippians 1:9-11. It’s straightforward and powerful. Write it down and carry it with you this week and pray for your sons and daughters that God would do a work in their lives, reflective of the passage.
“And this is my prayer: that (name)’s love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that (name) may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.” In Jesus’ name, amen.”
Pray without ceasing.
Who Influences You?
It’s true, the people we spend time with are the ones who have great influence on us. We begin to reflect, imitate, and resemble them in our thought, speech, and action.
Consider why we often see those who are successful in business associating with others who are of equal caliber? They learn from one another and propel their business acumen to greater heights. Tennis players want to play against those who are more experienced, and who have stronger skills because it challenges them and pushes them to improve their game. The same should be said of our choice of friends. Who makes us a better person? Who pushes us to be exceptional? Who sharpens our faith and disciples our walk with the Lord?
“Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”” 1 Corinthians 15:33
When we spend time with people of good character, we tend to make better choices. But the opposite is also true. When we associate with people who are more poorly behaved, have bad habits, and are less principled, we tend toward the same if we’re not intentional to maintain our personal standards and our commitment to live for the Lord. It’s a far-too easy capitulation and one that takes us down a slippery slope.
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Jim Rohn
When our children were little, we were particular about who they spent time with. We didn’t want them picking up inappropriate behavior or language. We wanted to ensure that the influences on them were positive and Godly, pushing them in the right direction and impressing on them the kind of person they ought to be, cultivating in them the character and habits that reflected Jesus well. Yet, now that they’re adults, we can’t manage that for them. They need to stand on their own convictions.
Who our sons and daughters choose to associate with for fun, encouragement, mentoring, and more all have an impact on them. Will they choose those who will push and pull them closer to the cross or will they choose compromise, little allowances here and there because “what can it hurt?” Will they compartmentalize their life, living for the Lord on Sunday, but living their own will on the weekdays? Will they pursue success according to the world or the Word? Each choice to allow something questionable weakens their spiritual armor that protects them from the enemy.
“Associate yourself with people of good quality, for it is better to be alone than in bad company.” – Booker T. Washington
Our sons and daughters are continually being pressed to compromise, tolerate downward-trending morals and overlook indiscretions- both their own and those of others. Peer pressure in high school has nothing on the peer pressure in today’s social scene, corporate world, military life, and beyond. Our sons and daughters are in the thick of the battle when it comes to the challenge of standing firm and choosing their associates wisely - are we praying for their protection?
As parents, we ought to pray daily that our sons and daughters cling tightly to the cross and that everything they choose to say and do, each place they choose to go, and each person they choose to embrace is filtered through the godly worldview that is founded on Scripture. Does it please the Lord? Does it represent Christ well? It truly needs to be asked, what would Jesus do? And if He wouldn’t, don’t.
“Choose your friends carefully for you will tend to be like them and be found where they choose to go.” Thomas Monson
The question is, who do our sons and daughters want to become and how do they want to be known? What do they value most? We cannot answer those questions for them, but I guarantee, we know the answers we want to hear.
As parents of adult children, our influence has shifted. It looks different and our greatest leverage is in prayer. Today, let’s pray fervently that our sons and daughters choose their friends wisely. Pray that they would heed the prompting of the Holy Spirit to refuse to compromise their values. Pray that they would be salt and light, not shunning those who don’t know Jesus, but living like Jesus amongst them, showing compassion, love, and choosing what is right, no matter what, so that God is glorified.
“Lord, I know (name) is confronted with pressures to compromise their standards and their faith. We live in a world that mocks Christians and abuses Your name. I pray that You would surround (name) with others who love You and serve You. Give them courage and conviction to stay true to their faith and morals when they’re confronted with opportunities or temptation to compromise. I pray that Your Holy Spirit would prompt and remind them and help them to be sensitive to His voice. Lord, I pray that they would not find the world appealing but would constantly run to You for their affirmation, encouragement, and anchor. Remind them of the hope they have in Jesus and the eternal blessings of following Him. Lord, let them shine Your light amongst those who are chasing after things that will not satisfy. Don’t let them join in the chase. Help them to choose good company and build good character in them. I pray this in Jesus’ name, amen.”
Are you praying for a prodigal? Don’t lose heart. Keep laying your burdens in prayer at the feet of Jesus. Trust Him and know that He’s working. You may not see it, but He works in dimensions that are beyond our comprehension. Pray for those friends and associates that interact with your beloved prodigal, that God would use them to bring them to repentance and a redeeming relationship with Jesus.
Consider this new resource, 40 Days of Prayer for the Prodigal, a powerful book for anyone deeply in prayer for the heart of their loved one.
40 Days of Prayer for the Prodigal addresses the battle for the heart, mind, and soul of the prodigal through praying Scripture boldly and consistently with faith that God will bring repentance and restoration.
The reader will prepare their heart with their own surrender to God and then they will speak the words of Scripture back to God in effective and powerful ways, praying specifically over the condition and situation of their beloved prodigal. Transformation can begin in the life of the prodigal and in the reader’s own heart as well.
Grab your copy today! Read and share!
