Praying for the Ordinary
I’ve been pondering what to write for the past two weeks. What is it God wants us to pray about? I’ve started and set aside multiple posts. But a question I received this week got me thinking and that seems to be where God’s directing, so here we go!
A former student, newly graduated from university and living and working locally, met me for coffee. This student was a missionary kid who grew up in multiple places, but spent little time in the United States. This student speaks two languages fluently, and understands how to navigate life in multiple cultures. Yet, navigating life in the US is what is foreign. In the course of conversation, the student said, I just want to live an ordinary life, to which I responded, I think it’s hard for MKs to live an ordinary life (and how each person defines ‘ordinary’ differs, right?).
In my work with international and MK university students, I’ve been privileged to watch so many come to school, far from where they grew up, and begin to navigate life in an unfamiliar country and culture without the reassurance of family nearby. The MK students, in particular, experienced a lot of challenges. Most grew up outside of the United States, outside of their passport culture. To many of us here, we look at them and say ‘they’re home now’, but in their heart and mind, they are far, far from anywhere they consider home. Home is on the savannah in Kenya, a hut in Papua New Guinea, or a high rise in a closed country.
Maybe your son or daughter is a missionary, raising your grandkids overseas. Maybe you were an MK yourself, or you went to the field and that’s where your sons and daughters grew up. It is important that we take a few minutes to understand how to support these brothers and sisters in Christ more effectively. Whether it’s your son or daughter, your grandchildren, or someone else’s, they are a part of the body of Christ and it is our responsibility to encourage them and support them, more than just financially. If we understand their experience more deeply, we can pray more effectively.
Matthew 25:35 “For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in.”
Question 1: Do we recognize that, although they are back in the US, they are far from home and things are strange? They truly are a foreigner in heart, mind, and, sometimes, even language. How can we welcome them well?
Back to the question, “How can I make an ordinary life?”
It’s not that MKs can't live an ordinary life. But an MKs growing up is so extraordinary. Most of them had a passport from a young age and navigating airports and international travel was second nature. I've found so many MK's who feel at home in an airport. Their life has been so mobile and multicultural, there’s something comforting and familiar about the airport terminal. They live a life unlike so many of us who are born, raised, and live our lives in the same 10 mile radius.
Many MKs don't know what it means to stay in one place for a prolonged length of time, let alone live into adulthood in the same place you grew up (imagine that, friends… they struggle to answer the question “where are you from?”). The concept of putting down roots often scares them because they feel like that is restrictive instead of anchoring.
Colossians 2:6-7 “So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.”
Question 2: How can we help them understand that roots bring stability, not restriction? How is being rooted in Christ beneficial to our spiritual stability? How might physical roots support a stable life?
MKs don’t need to break the pattern of adventure, mobility, and multicultural experience, that’s an integral part of who they are, but they do need to learn how to settle and create a life, schedule, and patterns where God places them. There is a tendency to be anxious to move to the “next thing” or to get back to what was. Remind them to be present and to be careful to give 'here and now' credit for what makes it 'here and now' instead of comparing it to 'then and there'. And don’t be too eager to move on, recognize and enjoy what God has for you here in this moment. He’s placed you here for a reason.
Philippians 1:20 “I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death.”
Esther 4:14b “And who knows but that you have come to your royal position [this new location] for such a time as this?””
Question 3: How does God want you to be effective for Him where He’s placed you…for now? How might the story of Daniel, taken captive and held in a foreign land, help bring perspective to the knowledge that God placed you here and now for such a time as this?
Understand that most MKs and their family will go through a grieving process. Any time they leave one place for another, there are goodbyes, things left behind, loss, and hardship. Consider, when they leave for the field they sell most of their belongings, say goodbye to friends, family, pets, and life as they know it…then that process happens over and over throughout their life. It leaves trauma that is often unrecognized or glossed over. When they come to church to present, they put on their happy faces and tell you the best things, because they know a hurting family or a struggling MK is not what a church wants to see. Be willing to look deeper and to hear the hard things. Let’s love one another well.
John 13:34-35 ““A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.””
Question 4: Have I taken time to really listen to the MK and get to know their story?
Take the opportunity to learn from them- they are a wealth of knowledge. Listen to how God works in their part of the world- how have they seen Him work? Get ready for some amazing stories and humbling insights! What do they miss? What do they hold dear? This is how we can love others well.
“Ordinary” is when you have a routine and know what to expect right where you are. There's a settled-ness about it and a peace that comes with knowing and understanding where you are and why. Ordinary means you know where to go, where to find things, how to do life, and you move with the rhythm of the place in which you live. It's far from boring. It's using your gifts and talents in the place God has you right now, living successfully and finding joy in it. It's not the constant 'thrill-seeking' but a settled contentedness that gives you peace, assurance, and strength.
Isaiah 26:3-4 “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal.”
Question 5: Isn’t that what God asks of us- to be settled and at peace in Him, regardless of where He places us geographically? How might God use our ‘ordinary’ to bless and encourage someone today? How might you be able to help the MK settle in a country that doesn’t yet feel like home?
Take time to pray for an MK and their family. Reach out to ones you know and encourage them. Encourage your sons and daughters to do the same. The body of Christ is global and we need to be connected to one another, whether we fellowship in the same building or are spread across the globe. Let’s pray for the sons and daughters of those who serve.
Pray without ceasing.