Direction or Distraction: Practicing Discernment
“And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.” Philippians 1:9-11
New opportunities can be exciting! They can mean new locations, experiences, and relationships. The possibilities seem endless and the world is wide open. This could be what we’ve been waiting for…or not. But not every opportunity is one we should take. How do we discern what is the right choice? How do we guide our sons and daughters in the process?
Remember when our kids would come running in, breathless and excited, words tumbling over one another in an effort to tell their news, the exciting opportunity, the new discovery or adventure they just learned of? Maybe it was a ‘business idea’ (my daughter’s lemonade stand, in the middle of January, snow on the street and not a soul in sight) or the chance to go to camp (no, honey, you’re only in first grade, you have to wait a few years). But as our sons and daughters grew and matured, the opportunities also matured and grew, “Mom, I have to tell you about this guy…” “Dad, I’ve been considering signing with the Army…”. “Oh, we wanted to tell you guys, we’re moving….to another state.”
Throughout their lives, our sons and daughters will be presented with opportunities, or relationships, or even goals that would help direct and shape them. But just because it’s presented to them doesn’t mean it’s of God. That’s where discernment comes into play. The first question to ask is whether this is direction or distraction. Is God leading or is the enemy trying to derail us? Just because something is ‘good’ does not mean that God wants us to follow it or embrace it.
Discernment is something God asks us to practice. It helps us understand God’s will, His prompting and leading, and gives us clear direction to go and do or stay and wait. But it’s not something we just ‘grow into’ naturally. Discernment is provided by the Holy Spirit through our fellowship with Him and through our growth in our walk with the Lord. The Holy Spirit will provide clear spiritual discernment, but we need to be listening and willing to respond to His voice and His leading.
Paul says in Philippians 1:9-11 “And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.”
Discernment is a product of our love for God that is demonstrated in our pursuit of knowledge of Him and depth of insight into Scripture. The Apostle Paul isn’t just talking about the act of knowing information but the knowledge discussed in Philippians 1:9 is the Greek word ‘epignosis’ which means “precise and correct knowledge”. It is the word used for “things ethical and divine.” (1)
We don’t just pursue knowledge, for the sake of accumulating ‘facts’ and information, but we pursue a relationship with God. Knowing the Lord more deeply, understanding His character, pursuing His heart will enable us to understand His love for us and empower us to imitate Jesus Christ and reflect Him correctly (Philippians 2:5-11).
In addition to proper knowledge, Paul also mentions ‘depth of insight’ or good judgment in verse 9. The Greek word here is aisthesis and it means “perception or discernment.” (2 ) The growth in our knowledge of God brings discernment and that discernment is the ability to “test, examine, prove, scrutinize to see whether a thing is genuine or not.” (3) Isn’t that what we pray our sons and daughters would do when presented with an opportunity or decision? We want them to examine it carefully, not based on ‘feeling’ but on knowledge and insight of what and where God would lead.
It’s all connected. Precise and correct knowledge leads to effective discernment and, in turn, that discernment ensures effective decision making- the ability to know whether an opportunity is a direction or a distraction.
As parents, we must tread carefully as we listen and advise. We don’t have the liberty to tell our adult children what they can and cannot do- they are adults and regardless of how much we want to just say “No!” Or “Wait!” We need to practice discernment as well. If we are too vocal, we risk them backing away or perhaps withholding information to prevent our opinions and interference from swaying them or from guilting them into a decision. We don’t want their decision-making to be based on pleasing us, we want them to discern clearly and decide wisely based on God’s will for their lives. Colossians 1:9 is an excellent verse to pray over our sons and daughters as they make decisions and discern whether an opportunity is direction or distraction.
“For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of His will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives,”
Then, we can encourage them with these two steps:
When we are presented with opportunities that seem amazing, we need to pause and pray. Is this of God? How can I tell? How would this create opportunities to use my gifts and talents in ways that bring Him glory? Is there any ‘caution’ that I see in moving forward?
Proverbs 19:2 “It is not good to have zeal without knowledge, nor to be hasty and miss the way.”
2. Next, we should seek wise counsel. Share with spiritual mentors what we believe God is leading us to and to get their insight into whether we are being wise or whether we are only seeing what we want or hope to see.
Proverbs 15:22 “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.”
Ask if they’ve spoken to their pastor or a spiritual mentor. Pray with them. Pray for them. Ask the Lord to clearly show whether the opportunity is a direction or a distraction. And understand that our son or daughter may need to hear from someone besides us. Pray for that person. There is mighty power in prayer. It’s not the least you can do, it’s the best you can do.
As parents, we need to have honest conversations with the Lord. Ask Him to put up barriers if the opportunity is a distraction. Ask Him to reveal those things that are of concern and are not of Him. Pray that He makes it evident for all to see, especially our son or daughter. But if this is God’s direction, ask Him to affirm it. Pray that He would make it clear this is the path to follow. And pray that He helps our heart embrace His leading too, because sometimes He asks our sons and daughters to go places and do things that are far away and hard. Sometimes He leads them to decisions that are not our favored outcome. Take heart, obeying God is always better, even if the direction is not what we would have chosen.
Discernment doesn’t mean inaction. It doesn’t mean resistance. It means active pursuit of God’s will, understanding His heart, His leading, and His direction. The more you spend time with Him, the better you understand and hear His voice.
Let’s pray for discernment for our sons and daughters so they can clearly see His direction and avoid the distractions that would pull them away from following Him.
“Father, You are a good Father. You love and care for us in ways we often can’t see or fully understand. You are working all things for our good and Your glory. I pray for (name) today. As they face decisions and make choices on so many things: relationships, direction for their career or life, locations to live, work, and worship, I pray that You would give them discernment. Grow them in their knowledge of You. Give them depth of understanding of Scripture. Help them to bear fruit that would give evidence of a strong relationship with You. All of these are necessary for Godly discernment. Lord, make them pause if they are leaning on emotions or ‘feelings’. Affirm when they are moving in the right direction. I pray that You would bring other believers around them to speak truth into them, encourage them, and yes, also caution them about potential dangers or missteps that would take them away from You. Lord, if (name) does not have a personal relationship with You, I pray that even today Your Holy Spirit would bring conviction and a hunger and thirst for righteousness. Stir in their heart a desire to set aside every idol and to make You Lord of their life. Grow them in wisdom and knowledge so that their discernment would reflect that which glorifies Christ, not themselves. Give them a desire to serve You and to please You. Help me to parent well in this season of adulthood. Help me not be selfish or controlling but to trust You and Your leading. Your ways are better than mine. Give me peace as I pray for (name). In Jesus’ name, amen.”
Pray without ceasing
G1922 - epignōsis - Strong's Greek Lexicon (kjv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g1922/kjv/tr/0-1/
G144 - aisthēsis - Strong's Greek Lexicon (kjv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g144/kjv/tr/0-1/
G1381 - dokimazō - Strong's Greek Lexicon (niv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g1381/niv/mgnt/0-1/
Are you praying for a prodigal or know someone who is? Consider this new resource, 40 Days of Prayer for the Prodigal, a powerful book for anyone deeply in prayer for the heart of their loved one.
40 Days of Prayer for the Prodigal addresses the battle for the heart, mind, and soul of the prodigal through praying Scripture boldly and consistently with faith that God will bring repentance and restoration.
The reader will prepare their heart with their own surrender to God and then they will speak the words of Scripture back to God in effective and powerful ways, praying specifically over the condition and situation of their beloved prodigal. Transformation can begin in the life of the prodigal and in the reader’s own heart as well.
Grab your copy today! Read and share!
Available on Amazon
Questioning God
“How long, O Lord , must I call for help, but you do not listen? Or cry out to you, "Violence!" but you do not save? Why do you make me look at injustice? Why do you tolerate wrong? Destruction and violence are before me; there is strife, and conflict abounds.” Habakkuk 1:2-3
Some might think that questioning God demonstrates a rebellious attitude toward God, a lack of fear of Him, or perhaps a weak faith. Others would say it’s not for man to question God, yet God has given us a reasoning mind that, when we don’t understand something, will ask questions and seek truth and wrestle with things beyond our ability to grasp.
We may even hesitate to admit that we’ve questioned God ourselves in the midst of tragedy, pain, loss, or hardship. Why? Why, Lord? Why me? Why now? Why this? Why not healing, rescue, deliverance?
Our limited minds cannot grasp the eternal, limitless mind of God. Yet we try…and then we get angry or bitter towards Him when we don’t get the answers we think we deserve or we fall into despair thinking that we’ve been punished or abandoned. Oh how our minds jump to conclusions!
Just as we explained to our sons and daughters as we raised them, there is a right way and a wrong way to ask questions. The same applies when we talk to God. There is a right way and a wrong way to question Him. Below are some steps to ensure the questioning is with a right heart and doesn’t become accusing and bitter.
First, determine your motivation.
Are your questions coming from a place of truly wanting to know and understand, or are they motivated by bitterness, anger, and a desire to rail at God? Because one is inquiry and the other is accusatory.
“Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” Proverbs 4:23
Have a heart of humility.
Know your place. Who is God? Who are you? Where do you stand in that relationship? Before we bring any questions to God, we must acknowledge Who God is. We need to humble ourselves before Him.
“I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me. I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say, ‘My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.’” Isaiah 46:9-10
“Who among the gods is like you, Lord? Who is like you— majestic in holiness, awesome in glory, working wonders?” Exodus 15:11
A great Biblical example is the conversation between Job and God. Despite all of the suffering God allowed in Job’s life, He was still sovereign and still very much in control. When Job began to question Him, God responded and reminded Job of his position and of God’s eternal nature, perfect wisdom, unmatched power, and sovereign authority:
“Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?
Tell me, if you understand.
Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
Have you ever given orders to the morning,
or shown the dawn its place,
Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea
or walked in the recesses of the deep?
Have the gates of death been shown to you?
Have you seen the gates of the deepest darkness?
Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth?
Tell me, if you know all this.
“Will the one who contends with the Almighty correct him?
Let him who accuses God answer him!” Job 38:4-5, 12, 16-18; Job 40:2
Job responded in humility. He understood his place. He realized that the Sovereign God could choose to do whatever He planned. It was not for Job to question, but to trust.
Then Job replied to the Lord:
“I know that you can do anything,
and no one can stop you.”“You asked, ‘Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorance?’
It is I—and I was talking about things I knew nothing about,
things far too wonderful for me.” Job 42:1-3
3. Take time to learn the attributes of God.
As human beings, we have finite understanding and experience. We are time bound and limited; we struggle to grasp the eternal and really anything that exceeds our boundaries or occurs outside of our senses. If we learn about God’s character and attributes, we will gain perspective on our situation and our distress in light of eternity and in the bounds of God’s sovereignty. It can temper our bitterness to enable us to surrender in the Presence of God and to HIs purpose and plan:
God is Eternal
“Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever you had formed the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God.” Ps 90:2
“Of old you laid the foundation of the earth, and the heavens are the work of your hands. They will perish, but you will remain; they will all wear out like a garment. You will change them like a robe, and they will pass away, but you are the same, and your years have no end.” Ps 102:25-27
God is Sovereign
“Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable.” Isa 40:28
God’s wisdom and power is limitless and unsearchable
“Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable.” Isaiah 40:28
God is omniscient, knowing all, and He is omnipotent-all powerful. He has purpose in whatever hardship He allows and is fully in control over them.
“But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine. We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love be with us, LORD, even as we put our hope in you.” Psalm 33:18-22
God has plans and purposes beyond our understanding
“Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides You, Who acts on behalf of those who wait for Him.” Isaiah 64:4
4. Know that any spiritual discernment and understanding of the situation will only come through the Holy Spirit.
Our limited, mortal minds cannot begin grasp the eternal, spiritual nature of God’s work. We need the intervention and disclosure of the Holy Spirit to enable us to discern God’s work.
“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him” 1 Corinthians 2:9
Corinthians goes on to say, “But God has revealed it to us by his Spirit.” 1 Corinthians 2:10
“We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us.” 1 Corinthians 2:12
5. Respond, don’t react.
Instead of reacting to the situation and circumstances, we need to choose to respond. Lord, what would you have me learn? What is it I need to understand?
Rather than allowing ourselves to cave in to anger, we need to seek the Lord and ask the Holy Spirit to work in our hearts and minds to reveal to us what God is doing and what his purpose is. It is the difference between being godly over being fleshly.
“The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned.” I Corinthians 2:14
We must ask ourselves, is our response a reflection of wisdom or foolishness. Are we trusting in circumstances or the Sovereign Lord. Are we willing to walk in faith?
“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1
It’s easy to trust when you see things playing out logically, or in ways that benefit your goals and dreams. But faith is trusting what we do not see and having confidence in the promises of God, even when it’s not easily discerned. We must remember,
“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him” 1 Corinthians 2:9
When our sons and daughters encounter trouble and hardship (and they will) we as parents, mentors, and friends have a choice. What will we say in response to their questions? How will we counsel them? Will we react in kind and lose our self control, becoming angry or hysterical, or will we respond with Godly wisdom and the peace that passes understanding? If we know Jesus as our Savior and are indwelt by the Holy Spirit, we should always choose the latter.
Questioning God is something that we all will do at some point in our lives because we will all face circumstances and challenges that exceed our capacity to understand and surpass our coping skills and overwhelm our heart’s ability to embrace. Yet, God is there. He’s waiting to hear from us, He’s ready to answer, and He’s always present to supply our needs and sustain us through whatever it is we’re facing.
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33
Far too often, our reactions demonstrate we have more faith in the power of our circumstances to destroy us than in the Sovereign God of the Universe to deliver us.
Let’s be purposeful to point our sons and daughters to the cross. Let’s be deliberate about doing the same when we face hardship ourselves. Our children learn by watching us- even as adults. Let’s give them something worthy to emulate. Jesus and only Jesus should be our focus, our desire, our comfort, our refuge, and our strength. If we’re drawing strength and peace from another source, it’s artificial and cannot sustain us. Let’s go to the Authentic Source of life, strength, purpose and peace. Let’s cling tightly to Jesus.
“Oh Lord, God of the heavens and the earth. Before this world ever began, You were. You are always present and working. You always will be- You are eternal. That is more than my mind can grasp and for that I am so grateful. I know that my God is bigger than anything I will ever face, stronger than any enemy, and Your wisdom is more profound than I can comprehend. I pray that You would give me strength, discernment, and wisdom to encourage my sons and daughters. I pray especially for (name) as they struggle. Lord, You see them, You love them, and I know You have a purpose and plan that is beyond our understanding. I pray that You will protect them from bitterness. Open their eyes to see whether they are responding to you or reacting in anger and bitterness. Give them a humble heart to listen for Your voice and trust Your work. Lord, even when they don’t understand, help them to rely on Your goodness, Your lovingkindness, Your Sovereign power and Your eternal plan. Remind them of Your attributes. Then, give them strength and wisdom to seek the Holy Spirit for discernment. Lord, if they do not know you personally, if they are walking a path that is not with Jesus, I pray that You would use this situation to bring them to repentance and to salvation in Jesus through His death on the cross and His resurrection from the dead. Fill them with joy in Your Presence so that no matter what circumstances they face here, they know you have far better things planned for them in eternity with You, things that our minds can’t even begin to imagine. I pray, Father, that through Your Son, Jesus and through the Holy Spirit working, alive and active in their heart, that they would listen for Your voice, be ready for Your answers, and be trusting that You will never leave or forsake them. Give me courage to support them correctly, using Your Word and Your wisdom to point them to Jesus, again and again. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.”
Be still, my soul! the Lord is on your side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to your God to order and provide;
In ev'ry change he faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul! your best, your heav’nly friend
Thru' thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
Be still, my soul! your God does undertake
To guide the future as he has the past;
Your hope, your confidence, let nothing shake;
all now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul! the waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while he lived below.
Kathrina von Schlegel (1)
Pray without ceasing.
von Schlegel, K. (1752). Be still, my soul. Hymnary.org. https://hymnary.org/text/be_still_my_soul_the_lord_is_on_thy_side#Author
Building a Godly Life
A rite of passage for young adults is moving out of their parent’s home and into their own place. We all know it’s coming someday, but when the day arrives, it’s bittersweet because for us as parents, it marks the end of a season. We step away from the ‘active parenting role’ and into the unfamiliar territory of parenting an adult. We no longer tell them what to do or how to do it (but if they ask, we’re happy to share). Our own agenda, calendar, and priorities are no longer the guidepost for their days and cannot dictate what they do, where they go, and when they interact with us or others. We can (and do) offer wisdom and guidance, but their decision making is their own. They have a job and they’re building a home and a life. It is important that we respect their adulthood while still offering wise words in discerning ways at appropriate times. (Oh that there was a manual for this stage!)
And though we won’t hear the laughter coming from their room or enjoy the unexpected conversations when they walk in and plop on the sofa at the end of the day, telling us all about their day, we’ll still enjoy the relationship. The conversations will unfold differently and, perhaps more deeply. The relationship shifts from the parent caring for a dependent child to that of a parent encouraging an adult son or daughter (note, we didn’t use the word ‘child’). And, of course, we will keep praying…always. Because, although they’re no longer occupying our house, they’ll never stop occupying our heart.
We recently launched our youngest into her own place. When she moved out of our home, we gave her the things we no longer needed or wanted. She furnished her home with second-hand furniture, thrift store finds and things collected from family and friends. Often, our sons and daughters have an idea of how they want their space to ‘look’ and they pay a lot of attention to that. But the more important thing is the foundation of their life- how does that look? Is it solid? Does it fit a life that is Biblically sound?
Building a life requires wisdom (we know that young adults have some wisdom…but wisdom comes with years and experience…they’ll figure that out at some point). As much as we help them find the physical items they need for their home, the spiritual aspects are even more vital as they live as independent adults. Our job now, as parents and mentors, is to pray intentionally that the home and life they build is one founded on Godly wisdom and truth.
“By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.” Proverbs 24:3-4
The following are prayer points that we can pray for our sons and daughters as they establish themselves in adulthood (and in the new neighborhood)
Pray that they are intentional to spend time in God’s Word daily- reading, learning, gaining wisdom and knowledge.
“And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.” Philippians 1:9-11
2. Pray that they would have spiritual discernment and always look to the Lord for wisdom and protection.
“But my eyes are fixed on you, O sovereign Lord; in You I take refuge- do not give me over to death. Keep me from the snares they have laid for me, from the traps set by evildoers. Let the wicked fall into their own nets, while I pass by insafety. “
Psalm 141:8-10
3. Pray that they find a good church in which to settle, learn, grow and have fellowship and accountability. It’s easy to drift away from the habit of going to church.
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:24-25
4. Pray that their friendships and any spouse-potential relationship would be God-honoring, that those they surround themselves with, spend time with, and whom they allow to build into their life would be Christ-followers who desire to please God more than anyone else.
“I am a companion of all who fear you, of those who keep your precepts.” Psalm 119:63
5. Then, let’s pray over them daily, that the Lord would guide their steps, protect them from harm and from those who would deceive them, and provide for them both physically and spiritually. Pray that they would desire more of Him and would see His hand in their life.
“Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight.” Psalm 119:35
“Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me.” Psalm 119:133
Today, let’s pray Psalm 121 over our sons and daughters:
“I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.The Lord watches over you—
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.The Lord will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.”
Pray without ceasing
Testing the Narrative
Philippians 1:20-21 “I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.”
As we watch events unfold globally, it’s both interesting and disturbing to see how often one side will choose to spin information in an effort to deceive and gain sympathy from those who will listen and believe the lies. The deception is often an effort to undermine the ‘underdog’ - those who are weaker and whose cause is often in the right, those who are defending their country and people. But the aggressor creates a narrative about the conflict in an effort to gain (or keep) the upper hand, to sway or intimidate others into support….or silence. Despite the fact that pictures and first-hand accounts of the victims are clear evidence against them, the aggressor continues to spin the story. They go as far as to celebrate their criminal actions and unjust ‘victories’.
Unfortunately, there are always some who believe the lies. Those supporters are convinced their leader is right and justified. They choose to listen to the narrative and they don’t look with discretion and critical thinking at the bigger picture that gives evidence of unjustified aggression, intentional deception, and a warped agenda. For those who stand apart, it’s easier to see the deep deception, but for those who are entrenched and surrounded, it’s blurry and difficult to discern.
Friends, this could be describing current events…but it can also describe spiritual warfare. Isn’t it interesting that both have similar qualities? Could it be that what we’re seeing play out in the news has a deeper, more sinister source and agenda? It seems so.
We live in a time when prophecy is unfolding. Current events are beginning to mirror scripture. It’s thrilling and terrifying all at the same time. What is it that God calls us to do? What is our role? Friends, we need to take an eternal view. We need to see the scope and nature of what is happening and understand that God is weaving His story and we are a part of it all. He doesn’t call us to build a bunker, hoard food and prepare for nuclear Armageddon. We already know Who wins and we need to rest secure in that knowledge! We need to step up and put our fear aside. We need to look, with clear eyes, at what our role needs to be. God is calling us to be salt and light to a world in desperate need of a Savior. We have work to do! Too many believe the deceptive narrative of the enemy. Satan is deceiving image-bearers and drawing them toward eternal death. It’s his agenda and his goal and he’s busy about his business.
“Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”
1 Peter 5:8
As parents, we see what is happening and it’s not difficult to begin to fear the possibilities. We want, more than anything, to protect our sons and daughters from harm. We want to see them prosper and grow. We want to ensure their safety. We don’t want to imagine the ‘what ifs’, but as we watch and see what’s happening, we tend to think that way. But that way of thinking can become our ‘undoing’. And our fear can potentially hold our sons and daughters back from leaning in to obey the Lord and His call for their life. We don’t want to be a barrier.
As we read through Scripture, we see that God often uses young people in mighty ways by placing them in hard situations. Think about Daniel- taken hostage, led to a foreign country, impressed into the King’s service, learning a new language, new customs and, yet, mightily used by God to impact not only the nation of Israel, but the Kingdom of Babylon too. Then, there are his friends, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. They refused to compromise; they refused to bow to an idol. They knew that obedience to God had eternal blessings versus giving way to the King for a temporary moment of safety. Friends, there are SO many examples: Joseph, David, Ruth, Jeremiah, the list goes on and on. And then, there’s Esther., about whom Mordecai said “For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father's house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” Perhaps God is raising up our sons and daughters for such a time as this.
God may bring difficult times ahead. And He may call our sons and daughters to do hard things. Are we ready? Are we willing to stand for Truth? Are we willing to pray that our sons and daughters choose Jesus over a moment of safety? Can we authentically pray Philippians 1:20-21 for them?
“I eagerly expect and hope that (name) will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in (name)’s body, whether by life or by death. For to (name), to live is Christ and to die is gain.”
Philippians 1:20-21
That’s a difficult prayer, isn’t it? So, how do we do this. How can we wrap our parent-hearts around what may come and yet, pray with peace, ‘Thy will be done”?
First, we need to pray that our sons and daughters evade deception. This is a battle of the heart and mind, and victory is gained through having firm wisdom and knowledge of Jesus. They ARE fighting an enemy, every day. Do we pray as if they are?
“I have not stopped thanking God for you. I pray for you constantly, asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God.”
Ephesians 1:16-17
It’s important that we pray that our sons and daughters are alert to the nature of deception and how Satan works. Pray that they are not led astray, but stand firm in Jesus with an undistracted, undivided heart.
“But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent’s cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ. For if someone comes to you and preaches a Jesus other than the Jesus we preached, or if you receive a different spirit from the Spirit you received, or a different gospel from the one you accepted, you put up with it easily enough.”
2 Corinthians 11:3-4
Next, we need to pray that our sons and daughters have keen discretion to identify false teaching, a false Spirit and a false Jesus. They’re out there friends, and they’re dangerous. They ‘sound good’. There is just enough truth to woo the unsuspecting mind. There is a smattering of ‘love’ to soothe the hurting heart. There is false hope that is dished out in plentiful portions, until the deception takes hold and the enemy rejoices. It’s dangerous and we’re not immune. Our sons and daughters are prey for the enemy and they’re headed to the front lines.
“For false messiahs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and wonders to deceive, if possible, even the elect.”
Matthew 24:24
“For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.”
2 Timothy 4:3-4
We need to ask the Lord to give our sons and daughters a strong grasp of Biblical knowledge and wisdom so they can test what they see and hear against the Truth of Scripture. Pray that they are always alert and on guard, ready to battle the enemy. Pray that they understand it’s not about ‘checking the boxes’ but living authentically. And friends, as parents we need to be intentional to live out that truth without compromise.
“Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. This is how you can recognize the Spirit of God: Every spirit that acknowledges that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, but every spirit that does not acknowledge Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you have heard is coming and even now is already in the world. You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.”
1 John 4:1-4
Finally, we must pray that our sons and daughters are ‘sold out’ for Christ. Pray that they value their relationship with Him and the promise of eternity over comfort and pleasure in this temporary life. Yes, I know, we’re praying hard things. We don’t want to imagine where this might lead, yet scripture tells us we will face hard times.
“In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33b
Are we expending our energy and targeting our focus and worry on the “what if” or are we fully investing our hope and trust in What IS - the Great I Am, the First and the Last, the Eternal One. Intentional, targeted Scriptural prayer is the key that we must grab onto and not let go.
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”
John 14:27
Will we choose to pursue peace in Christ or allow our earth-bound focus to stir turmoil in our hearts by putting too much focus on the events and direction of this world? Hard times may come. Our faith may be tested. We need to love the Lord more than life itself, because He is the Giver of Life.
So how do we shift our focus? We need to pray that God would help us to have a “Hannah Heart”, a willingness to allow our sons and daughters to serve the Lord, wherever He may lead them…and to trust that He will care and keep them and use them for His glory.
“I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD.” And he worshiped the LORD there.”
1 Samuel 1:27-28
It’s daunting to consider what may come. But we KNOW our God is sovereign and there is nothing that will happen that is out of His control. We need to trust Him. We can absolutely trust Him- He is Faithful and True.
Let’s pray with great commitment. And let’s not only pray over this in the coming week, but in the days, weeks and months ahead. God is working, but so is the enemy. We can’t grow complacent or comfortable. We, and our sons and daughters, must always test the narrative to determine whether it is of God or of the enemy. Pray without ceasing, friends.
“Father, you see the turmoil in our world…and in our hearts. What we see is distressing and sometimes it sinks so deeply into our hearts and minds that we’re distracted, disturbed and distressed. Our focus becomes our worry and fear and our efforts shift to ‘fixing’ and ‘protecting’. Help us to get our focus back onto You- to take every thought captive and bring it into obedience to Christ. Whether our sons and daughters are walking a hard path because of their profession, or because of their life choices, You are capable of defeating the enemy that threatens them physically and spiritually. Lord, You are mighty to save. Help me to rest in that. Help me to remember that He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. Remind me that You will cover them with your feathers and under Your wings they will find refuge. You will be their shield of defense and their rampart of offense. Your power can protect them so much more than my worry. Lord, I pray that they would be fully committed to Jesus, serving Him faithfully without wavering. Help them to identify deception and not fall victim to false teaching and those who would lure them from You. Protect them Lord. Make them mighty followers of You. Use them for Your glory and help me to pray faithfully. Bind my heart to Yours, Lord, so that I trust without wavering. Please help each of us to love You, the Giver of Life, more than this temporary life. You are our King and Savior. Keep us faithful, Lord. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
Are you questioning where you stand with God? Do you want peace and assurance that your eternity is secure? Do you want to know more about having a personal relationship with Jesus? Reach out! I would love to talk with you and share how to have hope in Jesus Christ!
“If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.”
Romans 10:9-11