Battling Destructive Thoughts and Words
“The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18
Imagine an old brick house covered in ivy. It looks beautiful and mysterious. The ivy creeps over the walls and the house takes on a different personality as the ivy spreads. But the ivy plant has root tendrils on the vines that penetrate into the surface of whatever it climbs on. Those roots attach the vine to the brick and mortar and begin to draw out the moisture. The vines spread and the leaves cover the walls and windows, blocking out the light. The vines will work their way under siding, in through windows and eventually, the ivy will damage the brick and destroy the mortar, compromising the integrity of the structure. Though it looks ‘pretty’ it becomes a silent enemy that will eventually destroy a house.
The power of words
Words can be similar to that ivy. They may seem innocent at first, just a surface thing that doesn’t do harm. But they can penetrate and cause damage, blocking out the light of Truth and drawing away the Living Water. Words can become dark thoughts that linger and penetrate into the heart and mind and cause destruction.
Our sons and daughters struggle with the battle against destructive words, even if they won’t admit it, because we know we do too…even if we won’t admit it. If asked to remember the kindest thing someone ever said to us, we might take a few moments to recall. But if asked to share the hardest or most hurtful thing, we can almost immediately call it to mind. Harsh words stick like glue.
This world is hard and the messaging that is being thrown at our sons and daughters is brutal. Standards they should attain to, but that are nearly impossible to meet; negative messaging that tears down their self-worth; comparisons that daily steal their joy - it all accumulates and festers. It creates a narrative that becomes their daily soundtrack. Sometimes we recognize the struggle in our children, other times they hide it well, but we know the negative words and messages are bombarding them and making an impact.
As believing parents, we have a responsibility to keep speaking truth into their lives, not just when they need it, but all the time. Will we wait and just ‘admire the proverbial ivy’ while it slowly and steadily destroys them, or will we begin to speak truth in ways that could transform their hearts and minds? Will we begin to tear down the destructive “ivy” of negative words and dark thoughts that would penetrate and destroy? We need to ensure that the messages they are hearing are Godly and right and will impact them for good. We cannot risk them struggling with dark thoughts that become deeply rooted and cause cracks in their spiritual foundation.
We can and should speak truth in love and point them to the power of the cross and the resurrection, not just when we see them struggling, but at every opportunity. There is power in the name of Jesus and the gospel is for everyone, everyday, not just on the day of salvation.
The best way to preserve a house from the damage of creeping ivy is to remove it- all of it. It’s not welcome. It’s destructive. And so it is with the words we choose to listen to, the values we choose to embrace, the practices we choose to engage in. If they are not Godly and we allow them to cling to us and take root, they will begin to change our stability and alter our spiritual integrity and obscure the light of God from our life.
So how do we best combat dark, destructive thoughts?
Scripture says “Take every thought captive” that comes from 2 Corinthians 10:5 “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
Demolish arguments.
What is it that you are listening to? What is trying to define you? What arguments are speaking into your worth and value? Evaluate their truth and pull down those lies from the pit that are trying to root themselves into your heart and mind. Don’t allow them to take hold and do damage.
The arguments are what the Greek calls “logismos” and it means a speculation or imagination (1). Do you see? There is little basis in truth, if any. It’s a guess, it’s an idea, it’s nothing that would hold up in court because there is little to no evidence to support it. Demolish it.
2. Demolish pretensions.
Pretentions are those ‘lofty thoughts’. The Greek word is ‘hypsoma’ and it means an elevated place or thing, or a barrier (2). What are the imagined barriers or those obstacles that situations or people put up in front of us? What are those things that exalt themselves over the truth of Scripture? Are they godly? Are they worthy? Are they deserving of our time, energy, and emotions? If not, knock them down. Detour around them. Break through them. Don’t invest in them because when you do, you’re redirecting your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual resources to something that is not of Godly.
3. Demolish every thing that sets itself up against the knowledge of God.
John 1:1-5 “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”
Evaluate the thoughts and feelings against the truth of John 1:1-5. Where do they originate? Do they honor and exalt God? Are they thoughts and feelings God would give you? Do they speak life and light or are they representing darkness, confusion, and oppression? Rebuke any thoughts that do not represent Christ - they are of the enemy and should not have a place in your life. Do not give the enemy a foothold. Tear them down and focus on what is good, just, pure, and lovely (Phil 4:8). If something is set against God, it is not promoting or sustaining the fruit of the Spirit- love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self-control (Gal. 5:22-23). The fruit of the Spirit is a great standard by which to gauge the godliness of thoughts, feelings, words, and actions.
4. Take every thought captive and bring it into obedience.
The Greek word here is aichmalōtizō and it means to conquer, bring under control, or to master (3). We have the ability to ‘pump the brakes’ and stop our wrong thinking. We have the capacity to arrest the wild thoughts, bring an end to the oppressive, accusatory dialogue and to, instead, set our minds on things that glorify the Lord. Is it easy? No. Is it possible? Absolutely!
5. Finally, choose to make our thoughts obedient to that which pleases God.
We must choose to do what the Greek calls hypakoē, which means attentive listening, compliance or submission (4). We must choose to bring our thoughts and feelings into compliance to God’s will, not leave them to the mercy of the arguments and pretensions that set themselves up against God and against His image-bearer.
Colossians 3:1-3 is the confirmation we need.
“Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.” Set your hearts. Make the choice. Be intentional.
The enemy wants us to live in the darkness of death. He deceives us into thinking that we are condemned and we have no hope. He lures us into lingering in the shadows- but our Savior walks through the shadows with us and it’s because of His light we can see the dangers and be confident of His protection! He prepares a table before us in the presence of our enemies, Psalm 23. We can rejoice and celebrate because Christ has won! We are redeemed! The enemy holds no power over us unless we allow it, and why would we?
Demolish it. Take it captive. Bring every thought into obedience.
These are the steps to overcome negative, dark, depressive thinking. These are the steps to a victorious mindset. We must choose where we will allow our thoughts to reside. We must choose what we will speak into the lives of others. It is important and urgent that we choose wisely and encourage our sons and daughters with the same.
Commit to pray
“Father, God, You see the struggles I have with my own thoughts and feelings. I know You see (name), too. You understand their struggles, their fears, their doubts and self-doubt. You see the enemy trying to leech living water and spiritual nutrition from them as he entwines his dark thoughts and casts his shadow of worthlessness and doubt. I rebuke this in Jesus name! I pray that You would help (name) to take every thought captive. As soon as those negative, questioning, dark thoughts begin to linger, I pray that they would capture them, rebuke them, and shift their thinking to what is right and true. Speak into them, Lord, their worth as a child of God, chosen and dearly loved. Strengthen them through Your Holy Spirit to demolish the arguments that would set themselves up against Your Word, Your Character, Your Truth. I pray that they would daily, moment by moment, bring every thought into obedience to You and Your will so they can live in victory. I pray that You would bring to mind Scripture that would encourage them. Help them to evaluate what they hear and choose to believe against Philippians 4:8 “...whatever is true, whatever is honorable and worthy of respect, whatever is right and confirmed by God’s word, whatever is pure and wholesome, whatever is lovely and brings peace, whatever is admirable and of good repute; if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think continually on these things [center your mind on them, and implant them in your heart].” (AMP) Lord, You are able to transform their mind and I pray You would do that, even today. Let the words of their mouth and the meditation of their heart be pleasing to You, Psalm 19:14. I pray this in Jesus name, amen.”
Pray without ceasing
If you don’t have a personal relationship with Jesus and you would like to know more, keep reading! Scripture says we’ve all sinned and come short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). Though we live ‘rightly’, do good, give of our time and resources, it’s not enough. Our sin is too great for us to atone for. But Jesus, the Son of God, came in human form to live among us and to be a sacrifice for our sin- for the sin of the world. He lived a sinless life and died on our behalf so that we could be reconciled to God. In our sin, we cannot stand before a righteous and just God- we have no good in us. All of our ‘righteousness’ is just like filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6). But God demonstrated His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). Jesus became the sacrifice for our sin on our behalf. He paid the price for our sin once, for all. When we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, God looks on us and sees Jesus. We are made holy and just. We are acceptable to God because of Jesus’ sacrifice. When we choose to follow Jesus, we make Him the focal point of our life, we pattern our life after Him and we live to serve and please Him. He promises everlasting life in His presence and an inheritance unlike any other. “If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you are saved.” Romans 10:9 This is not religion, it’s not a set of rules or a checklist of things you must accomplish, it’s a personal relationship with the One True God, the Almighty, Creator of the Universe and lover of our souls. Would you choose to follow Jesus today? Pray this prayer,
“Lord, I know that I’m a sinner. I’ve done many things wrong, thought things that were impure, said things that were hurtful. Lord, I’m undeserving. But I believe Jesus died for my sin. I believe He rose again from the dead, conquering sin and death and that He lives eternally. I confess my sin and ask for Your forgiveness. I want Jesus to be Lord of my life. I ask Jesus, that You would be my Lord and Savior. Forgive me. Cleanse me. Make me new and give me life beyond the grave. Thank you for forgiveness and for the hope of heaven. In Jesus’s name, amen.”
If you prayed this prayer, reach out! I would be so happy to give you some resources and some encouragement! Knowing Jesus truly is life-changing!
G3053 - logismos - Strong's Greek Lexicon (niv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g3053/niv/mgnt/0-1/
G5313 - hypsōma - Strong's Greek Lexicon (niv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g5313/niv/mgnt/0-1/
G163 - aichmalōtizō - Strong's Greek Lexicon (niv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g163/niv/mgnt/0-1/
G5218 - hypakoē - Strong's Greek Lexicon (niv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g5218/niv/mgnt/0-1/
Praying in Desperation
Psalm 143:5-7 “I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done. I spread out my hands to you; I thirst for you like a parched land. Answer me quickly, LORD; my spirit fails. Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit.”
Do you feel like you pray and pray but nothing changes? Are you desperate for an answer? Is your heart growing weary? It’s times like these that our fragile hearts need a good reminding of God’s faithfulness.
David understood that helpless desperation well, but rather than wallow in self-pity or allow his dark thoughts to overwhelm him, he used that as a call to remember all that God had done for him and as proof that God would not abandon him.
Remember the days of long ago- what are those things that God has done for us throughout our life? What are the ways He’s shown himself faithful? Are there stones of remembrance we can stack up as a reminder of God’s goodness and faithfulness? We need to write them down. Meditate on them. Remind ourselves of God’s goodness. Consider what His hands have done. Those reminders are the precious anchors for our weary souls that keep us grounded in the Truth that God never fails and never forsakes us.
“I spread out my hands to you; I thirst for you like a parched land.” Sometimes, in our desperation, we become so consumed with our own needs... our pleading prayers, that we lose sight of Who we should desire most of all. Stop. Let’s check our hearts. Do we want that answer to prayer more than we want Jesus? Has the thing we are praying for become more precious to us than our Savior? What if His answer is ‘no’? What then? When we’re fully satisfied with our Savior and long for Him more than anything else, we can manage whatever the answer will be because we know it comes from His good heart...even if it’s not the answer we prayed for. Thirst for Him, friends, and trust Him. Want Him more than anything else.
“Answer me quickly, LORD; my spirit fails.” Sometimes we have desperate prayers and we’re so emptied of anything else. We have nothing more to pour out, and in those times we just need to cry out to the Lord. Period. We don’t need a long explanation. We don’t need fancy words. When our children were little and needed help quickly, they didn’t go into a long explanation, they just cried out our name and we came running. Why would we think our Heavenly Father would do anything differently? When our spirit fails, we can cry out to Him and be heard. He will not hide his face, He will not let us go down to the pit. He will hear and answer. We can trust Him.
Today, remind yourself of these things. And pray. Trust Him that He will hear and answer. He intends good for you. “I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done. I spread out my hands to you; I thirst for you like a parched land. Answer me quickly, LORD; my spirit fails. Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit.”
Pray without ceasing.