A Blessing of Favor and Purpose.
“May the favor of the Lord our God rest on us; establish the work of our hands for us— yes, establish the work of our hands.”
Psalm 90:17
We pray for so many things regarding our sons and daughters, their walk with the Lord, protection from spiritual oppression and attack, their relationships, their attitudes and desires. Sometimes we get consumed by the needs and we neglect the blessings. And although the needs are great, it’s good to shift our focus from the struggle to the One who makes all things new.
So today, we’re going to pray a blessing over our sons and daughters. Psalm 90:17 is a beautiful prayer and even more so when you look at each word in the original Hebrew language. When we understand the original language, we understand more deeply what God is teaching us, the power that protects and sustains us, and the calling He has on our lives.
The prayer in Psalm 90:17 is twofold. The first is the request for God’s favor - God pouring His Presence and blessing on us. The second is the request to give us purpose and make us productive in a way that brings glory to Him.
Let’s look at the key words from Psalm 90:17
When we pray for favor, what are we actually praying for? We often think the word ‘favor’ means goodwill or kindness. When some does a favor for us, it is nice and an expression of care not out of obligation, but out of the goodness of their heart. When someone shows favor toward us we feel chosen, appreciated and special. But the Hebrew word for favor, noam, means so much more!
Favor is God’s “delightfulness or pleasantness, splendor and grace” (1) It is reflective of God and His character. When we pray for favor on our children, we pray that God would pour out Himself on them, giving them a glimpse of Eden and life before the fall, when God walked in the garden with Adam and everything was set at one with Him. God’s favor is refreshing and sustaining. It is God’s goodness, delightfulness, splendor and grace lavished on us when we’re not deserving and in ways we could never deserve or earn. It is glorious and it reminds us that He has more for us than what this world offers. His favor is refreshing, encouraging, and reminds us that He is present and working. And how do we typically respond to favor? We are inclined to be drawn to the one who shows it toward us. Part of our prayer should be not only that God pours out His favor on them, but that our sons and daughters respond by drawing near to Him, craving time with Him, and recognize the blessing and gift of His favor on them.
The next word is “rest” (or be in some translations) and that is the Hebrew word haya. It means “to exist or come to pass, be accomplished or committed to” (2) When something comes to rest, it exists. It settles upon. When God’s favor settles on us, it rests, it stays, it provides a reminder of His presence and His protection and nothing can move it or remove it from us. When something rests it is linked to a location or purpose. God’s favor rests on us with purpose, position, and power and nothing has the power or authority to remove it.
“On Us” is the Hebrew word ‘al’ and it means “according to, on account of, on behalf of, concerning, beside, in addition to, together with, beyond, above, over, by, on to, towards, to, against.” (3) Scripture tells us that in all times and in every way, God is surrounding us from all directions. It’s akin to Psalm 139:5 which says, “You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.” When we pray this blessing, we are asking for God’s favor to rest on us in every way at all times, everywhere.
The second part of this prayer of blessing is the request to establish the work of our hands. This is asking God to use us to do meaningful work that reflects His presence in our lives. The word ‘establish’ (in some translations the word used is conform) is the Hebrew word “kun” and it means “to set up, appoint, render sure and prosperous; to ordain or order, to confirm and direct.” Some verses used the word ‘determined’ or ‘prepared’ others the phrase, ‘firmly decided’ or ‘make ready’. Think about that. When we ask God to establish our sons and daughters, we’re asking Him to prepare them, make them ready, ordain their life, their choices, their steps, and ultimately, their eternity. When God establishes someone, He blesses them. That does not mean their life is easy, but it does mean it is fully in His sovereign keeping.
We’re asking God to establish their work- that which they choose to do daily, whether occupation or vocation, whether hobby or leisure. There is nothing more frustrating than pointless work, right? How many times have we done something and asked, why am I doing this? What purpose does it have? We do not want to see our sons and daughters disillusioned with life, their purpose, or their value. The Hebrew word for work is “maase” and it means “a transaction, product, act, art, labor, occupation” (5). 1 Corinthians 10:31 reminds us that whatever we do, it should be done for the glory of God. But none of that is accomplished in our own strength. Unless God enables it, we cannot do it. We want God to appoint the actions and choices of our sons and daughters so the work that they do reflects His presence in their life and brings glory to Him. We need to pray that our sons and daughters see that even the menial, daily things have eternal value.
This part of the blessing is a prayer that asks God to help us see the eternal in the temporal and the divine in the midst of the mundane. We want our children to recognize that things like changing a baby’s diaper can be a reminder of how God lifts us out of our sinful mess and cleans us up, making us fresh and new. And each time they do that, it should remind them of God’s faithfulness to continually meet us in our mess and make us more like Christ. We want them to always be mindful that although making a meal can become a chore, it can also be a reminder of God’s provision, His daily bread for us, both physically and spiritually. There are so many things that can quickly and easily become trivial and shift our mind and focus toward the temporal, but if we have our mindset fixed on Christ, those daily chores become gentle reminders of His presence, His purpose, and His plan for us. He appoints days, seasons, events, relationships, and opportunities for His plan and His glory. Nothing is pointless. Everything can bring Him glory.
Today, let’s take time to pray through Psalm 90:17, pondering the deeper meanings there and asking the Lord to bless our sons and daughters abundantly, to rest His favor upon them and establish the work of their hands.
“Heavenly Father, Holy One, Almighty, Everlasting God. You show us favor even though we are undeserving. You delight in lavishing Your blessings on us because You love us. I pray that You would be gracious to rest your favor on (name) today. Let it settle on them, wash over them, go before and behind them. May they recognize Your favor in the warmth of the sunshine, the provision of a warm cup of coffee or the friendly smile of a co-worker or friend. Remind them that Your favor keeps them in hardship, sustains them when they are weary, and infuses them with joy that is unexplainable in a world saturated with sin and darkness. Let the blessing of Your favor be evident to those around them, so that it would ring loudly as a testimony of God’s presence and purpose in their life.”
“I ask, too, Lord, that You would establish the work of their hands. Let whatever they choose to do, be blessed by You and bring You glory. Open their eyes and heart to see Your purpose and Your presence in every thing. Don’t let them fall into disillusionment or feeling purposeless and directionless. Don’t let the darkness and depravity of this world overshadow Your Presence in their daily life. In all of the tedious things they must do, bring a recognition of Your daily provision and presence. Let them see your favor in recognizable and undeniable ways so that their mind will remain fixed on Christ and their perspective will continue to be eternal to their hope and inheritance in Christ. I know You can do this Lord.”
“May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon (name), establish the work of their hands for them - yes, establish the work of their hands, Lord. I pray this blessing in the mighty name of Jesus’, amen.”
Pray without ceasing.
H5278 - nōʿam - Strong's Hebrew Lexicon (NIV). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/h5278/niv/wlc/0-1/
H1961 - hāyâ - Strong's Hebrew Lexicon (NIV). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/h1961/niv/wlc/0-1/
H5921 - ʿal - Strong's Hebrew Lexicon (NIV). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/h5921/niv/wlc/0-1/
H3559 - kûn - Strong's Hebrew Lexicon (NIV). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/h3559/niv/wlc/0-1/
H4639 - maʿăśê - Strong's Hebrew Lexicon (NIV). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/h4639/niv/wlc/0-1/
Direction or Distraction: Practicing Discernment
“And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.” Philippians 1:9-11
New opportunities can be exciting! They can mean new locations, experiences, and relationships. The possibilities seem endless and the world is wide open. This could be what we’ve been waiting for…or not. But not every opportunity is one we should take. How do we discern what is the right choice? How do we guide our sons and daughters in the process?
Remember when our kids would come running in, breathless and excited, words tumbling over one another in an effort to tell their news, the exciting opportunity, the new discovery or adventure they just learned of? Maybe it was a ‘business idea’ (my daughter’s lemonade stand, in the middle of January, snow on the street and not a soul in sight) or the chance to go to camp (no, honey, you’re only in first grade, you have to wait a few years). But as our sons and daughters grew and matured, the opportunities also matured and grew, “Mom, I have to tell you about this guy…” “Dad, I’ve been considering signing with the Army…”. “Oh, we wanted to tell you guys, we’re moving….to another state.”
Throughout their lives, our sons and daughters will be presented with opportunities, or relationships, or even goals that would help direct and shape them. But just because it’s presented to them doesn’t mean it’s of God. That’s where discernment comes into play. The first question to ask is whether this is direction or distraction. Is God leading or is the enemy trying to derail us? Just because something is ‘good’ does not mean that God wants us to follow it or embrace it.
Discernment is something God asks us to practice. It helps us understand God’s will, His prompting and leading, and gives us clear direction to go and do or stay and wait. But it’s not something we just ‘grow into’ naturally. Discernment is provided by the Holy Spirit through our fellowship with Him and through our growth in our walk with the Lord. The Holy Spirit will provide clear spiritual discernment, but we need to be listening and willing to respond to His voice and His leading.
Paul says in Philippians 1:9-11 “And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.”
Discernment is a product of our love for God that is demonstrated in our pursuit of knowledge of Him and depth of insight into Scripture. The Apostle Paul isn’t just talking about the act of knowing information but the knowledge discussed in Philippians 1:9 is the Greek word ‘epignosis’ which means “precise and correct knowledge”. It is the word used for “things ethical and divine.” (1)
We don’t just pursue knowledge, for the sake of accumulating ‘facts’ and information, but we pursue a relationship with God. Knowing the Lord more deeply, understanding His character, pursuing His heart will enable us to understand His love for us and empower us to imitate Jesus Christ and reflect Him correctly (Philippians 2:5-11).
In addition to proper knowledge, Paul also mentions ‘depth of insight’ or good judgment in verse 9. The Greek word here is aisthesis and it means “perception or discernment.” (2 ) The growth in our knowledge of God brings discernment and that discernment is the ability to “test, examine, prove, scrutinize to see whether a thing is genuine or not.” (3) Isn’t that what we pray our sons and daughters would do when presented with an opportunity or decision? We want them to examine it carefully, not based on ‘feeling’ but on knowledge and insight of what and where God would lead.
It’s all connected. Precise and correct knowledge leads to effective discernment and, in turn, that discernment ensures effective decision making- the ability to know whether an opportunity is a direction or a distraction.
As parents, we must tread carefully as we listen and advise. We don’t have the liberty to tell our adult children what they can and cannot do- they are adults and regardless of how much we want to just say “No!” Or “Wait!” We need to practice discernment as well. If we are too vocal, we risk them backing away or perhaps withholding information to prevent our opinions and interference from swaying them or from guilting them into a decision. We don’t want their decision-making to be based on pleasing us, we want them to discern clearly and decide wisely based on God’s will for their lives. Colossians 1:9 is an excellent verse to pray over our sons and daughters as they make decisions and discern whether an opportunity is direction or distraction.
“For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of His will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives,”
Then, we can encourage them with these two steps:
When we are presented with opportunities that seem amazing, we need to pause and pray. Is this of God? How can I tell? How would this create opportunities to use my gifts and talents in ways that bring Him glory? Is there any ‘caution’ that I see in moving forward?
Proverbs 19:2 “It is not good to have zeal without knowledge, nor to be hasty and miss the way.”
2. Next, we should seek wise counsel. Share with spiritual mentors what we believe God is leading us to and to get their insight into whether we are being wise or whether we are only seeing what we want or hope to see.
Proverbs 15:22 “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.”
Ask if they’ve spoken to their pastor or a spiritual mentor. Pray with them. Pray for them. Ask the Lord to clearly show whether the opportunity is a direction or a distraction. And understand that our son or daughter may need to hear from someone besides us. Pray for that person. There is mighty power in prayer. It’s not the least you can do, it’s the best you can do.
As parents, we need to have honest conversations with the Lord. Ask Him to put up barriers if the opportunity is a distraction. Ask Him to reveal those things that are of concern and are not of Him. Pray that He makes it evident for all to see, especially our son or daughter. But if this is God’s direction, ask Him to affirm it. Pray that He would make it clear this is the path to follow. And pray that He helps our heart embrace His leading too, because sometimes He asks our sons and daughters to go places and do things that are far away and hard. Sometimes He leads them to decisions that are not our favored outcome. Take heart, obeying God is always better, even if the direction is not what we would have chosen.
Discernment doesn’t mean inaction. It doesn’t mean resistance. It means active pursuit of God’s will, understanding His heart, His leading, and His direction. The more you spend time with Him, the better you understand and hear His voice.
Let’s pray for discernment for our sons and daughters so they can clearly see His direction and avoid the distractions that would pull them away from following Him.
“Father, You are a good Father. You love and care for us in ways we often can’t see or fully understand. You are working all things for our good and Your glory. I pray for (name) today. As they face decisions and make choices on so many things: relationships, direction for their career or life, locations to live, work, and worship, I pray that You would give them discernment. Grow them in their knowledge of You. Give them depth of understanding of Scripture. Help them to bear fruit that would give evidence of a strong relationship with You. All of these are necessary for Godly discernment. Lord, make them pause if they are leaning on emotions or ‘feelings’. Affirm when they are moving in the right direction. I pray that You would bring other believers around them to speak truth into them, encourage them, and yes, also caution them about potential dangers or missteps that would take them away from You. Lord, if (name) does not have a personal relationship with You, I pray that even today Your Holy Spirit would bring conviction and a hunger and thirst for righteousness. Stir in their heart a desire to set aside every idol and to make You Lord of their life. Grow them in wisdom and knowledge so that their discernment would reflect that which glorifies Christ, not themselves. Give them a desire to serve You and to please You. Help me to parent well in this season of adulthood. Help me not be selfish or controlling but to trust You and Your leading. Your ways are better than mine. Give me peace as I pray for (name). In Jesus’ name, amen.”
Pray without ceasing
G1922 - epignōsis - Strong's Greek Lexicon (kjv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g1922/kjv/tr/0-1/
G144 - aisthēsis - Strong's Greek Lexicon (kjv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g144/kjv/tr/0-1/
G1381 - dokimazō - Strong's Greek Lexicon (niv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g1381/niv/mgnt/0-1/
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