A Season of Saying Farewell
This week we’re going back to a post from 2019. As parents get ready to send their kids off to school- whether it be to Kindergarten for the first time or university and the first steps of adulting, those changes are hard. They signal a new stage of parenting and a heart-adjustment that takes longer than the initial ‘goodbye’. Take some time to read and pray. And trust that long before you ever knew that little one would be placed in your arms, your home, and your heart, God knew them. He has and has a plan for their life. Trust Him. He’s ever present, always faithful, and the One you can trust without fail.
It’s hard being a parent, isn’t it? Parenting is all-consuming. Every. Waking. Moment. But as your children grow and mature, their needs change, they become more independent and before you know it, that day arrives when they get ready to leave. They head off to college, get married, or take that job in the exciting new place. And there you are….a parent without someone to parent.
Today’s devotion and prayer are written with a lot of my friends in mind, and if I’m honest, it’s written for me. Many of us are struggling with emotions right now…trying to hang tough and look like we’re excited on the outside, but melting and choking back tears on the inside. We don’t want to be THAT Mom who clings too tightly to her child, not wanting or afraid to let go. We want to be ecstatic that they are pursuing their dreams and grabbing hold of the amazing opportunities God’s brought to them; but we grieve.
We have reached that bridge where we cross from parenting a child to parenting an adult. It’s a re-defining of our role. It’s a new, uncharted ocean and we’re adrift, far from any familiar landmarks. It’s feeling loss and grief and wondering who we are now….and whether we’ll figure it out any time soon. And will there be peace again…and joy?
Farewells are hard, not just because you’re saying goodbye, and not because you’re letting go, but because of the unknown. You’re releasing your beloved son or daughter to something and somewhere that is beyond your control, your protection, and your reach.
When I would talk with my kids about their future and where they would settle, I wanted them to know that I was excited for them to go wherever God would choose to take them, whether 10 miles away, or 10,000. We had conversations about exotic places and exciting jobs and ministries. Was I being truthful in my excitement? Yes, absolutely. I would joke that the only stipulation was they must have a place for me to stay when I visit. Some parents might think I was nuts. Honestly, my own mother would have been appalled. She struggled when I moved 8 miles away.
Truth be told, I was excited to think that my kids would venture out into places that were beyond our borders, because if they did, it would mean God was drawing them to do a work that was beyond what we might have asked or imagined for them. Some people may think I’m crazy, but there is no better place to be than where God leads and if you resist and fuss at your children following after God, you become a stumbling block and, dare I say, tool of the Enemy (Ouch). We cannot protect them by holding them back. That won’t keep them safe or shield them from pain. But it will breed discontent, frustration, and bitterness between them and you. The more tightly you cling, the more they will resist and pull away.
When I first wrote this post, my kids were in college (with one still in high school). Life has changed, once again. Now, they’re all graduated and in different locations. God’s tested that willingness in my heart in leading our son to be a military doctor. He won’t just go far away, he’ll likely, at some point, be in the midst of danger. When our son explained how field hospitals are set up, he shared that they are at interval distances from the front with the closest being within 5km of the front line…and then he shared, “that’s where I want to be.” My heart cries out, “Jesus, protect my son!” Yet, I know, if that’s where God wants him, there is no safer place for my son to be. God’s will is perfect and protective. God knows the number of our days and no one can shorten that, no enemy can thwart it, no threat can overcome. Who do I trust? God or man? I choose to trust and rest in the Lord. Do I worry? Of course, but I don’t let it take over and I don’t allow it to become an idol- that which consumes my time, attention, and affection.
Mom and Dad, we need to step back, let our children fly, and in turn, anchor ourselves in Christ, trusting Him for their safe keeping. We need to pray for their growth and a deepening faith, and for our own as well.
Still struggling? Read Psalm 139:7-10, this is good stuff.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
There is nowhere your son or daughter can go that is outside of God’s protection, care and control. Across the ocean? He’s there. In a closed country? He’s there. In a war zone, He’s there too. God’s hand will always guide them and will always hold them fast. What we need to do is pray that our children consistently reach out to Him and cling to His hand and we need to do the same, modeling that complete trust in the One who loves us.
Mom and Dad, it’s time to set them free and watch them fly. Your heart will go to places you never imagined and your God will sustain you with the peace you need to re-define your role as a parent….you may even discover you become a friend and confidante of your once little one, unimaginable in the teenage years, now refreshing and fulfilling.
“Lord, today I ask that your Spirit would watch over every step that (name) takes. Lead (name) wherever you choose, and help me to have your peace and to trust You to take care of (name). Being in your care is far safer and better than any protection I could ever offer and your watchfulness and provision better than anything I could ever provide. Lord, please guide (name) and hold them fast. Above all, I pray that (name) would look to you for help, hope, and protection. Please help (name) to realize and there is nowhere they could run from you and trust there is nowhere you cannot protect and guide them. I ask that (name) would seek to follow after you all the days of their life, even if called to the ends of the earth. In Jesus name, Amen.”
Like a Thief in the Night
1 Thessalonians 5:2-4 “for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. While people are saying, “Peace and safety,” destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman and they will not escape. But you brothers and sisters, are not in darkness so that this day should surprise you like a thief.”
We spend much time praying over our sons and daughters that they would have a heart for Jesus, an understanding of Scripture and would pursue holy living. But how often do we stop and pray that they would have an eye on the future? Sometimes it seems so far off that, although we know Jesus’ return could happen at any moment, we too easily find ourselves lulled into a mindset of ‘someday’ vs. ‘imminent’, “even today”. It should change how we live. It should determine our focus. It is the important thing by which we should prioritize our days, our choices, our lives. Yet, too often, it’s buried in the back of our minds as something that ‘might’ happen in our lifetime, but is probably unlikely because look how much time has gone by already? It’s been two thousand years. As days go on the imminence seems to lose its urgency, and isn’t that what Satan hopes will happen in the believer’s heart and mind? The Lord tells us we need to be aware and watching.
Look at current events- what do you see? Are things becoming more peaceful? Is crime becoming less prevalent? Are people caring for one another in ways that bring harmony and show kindness? Oh, governments and leaders will proclaim peace and tell us alliances are certain to assure us of the same, but Scripture tells us that’s the deception of the enemy. Satan is the Prince of the power of the air. This is his domain. He breeds chaos and pain. Matthew 24:7 says, “Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places.” Watch what is happening and don’t be unaware.
Sin is rampant, this world is in deep decay and Jesus is the only remedy that will change anything. Yet, scripture tells us at some point, He will return and catch up those who confess His name and believe in their heart that Jesus is Lord. We call it the rapture. Some will say, “well, that word isn’t even in scripture!”. Hmmm. No, the English word is not in scripture. But the Bible wasn’t written in English. If you dig a little deeper you’ll see something very interesting in 1 Thessalonians 4:17, “After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.” Those words ‘caught up’ is the word ‘harpazo’ which means “to seize, catch (away, up), pluck, pull, take (by force).” (1) It comes from the word ‘haireo’ which means “to take for oneself, i.e. to prefer, choose.” (2)
This ‘catching up’ of believers won’t come with a warning or a ‘heads up!’. That’s already been given in Thessalonians. We are told to live ready. Much like a special forces military officer lives always ready to go at a moment’s notice. Their ‘go bag’ is packed and ready so that when they get the call, they’re on their way immediately. When we get the call from Jesus, we’ll be out- in a moment, caught up and pulled out. It will be that quick. It will be unexpected. People will be caught unaware.
Matthew 24:36-44 says, ““But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and the other left. Two women will be grinding with a hand mill; one will be taken and the other left. “Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him.”
Jesus is coming back. Are we keeping watch? Do we teach and encourage our sons and daughters to be alert and aware? We need to pray that our sons and daughters live in the light of Jesus return, always watching, always ready, because this world is not where we are meant to be. This is not our home, so we shouldn’t get too comfortable. Pray that our sons and daughters would have a burden to share the hope that they have in Christ with those who are spiritually dying. Pray that they are excited to see His return because that will be the moment their faith becomes sight! Can you imagine? What an amazing, breath-taking moment that will be! Even so, come quickly Lord Jesus!
“Heavenly Father, You assure us that Jesus will return for us. You also remind us in Your Word that the day and the hour is unknown to all but You. It could happen at any moment. But I fear we lose our focus too easily and we become comfortable here. So many years believers have been waiting, and we may wait even more. But that waiting is Your kindness toward those who have yet to believe (2 Peter 3:9). I pray that You would give us a fresh excitement and anticipation for Jesus’ return. Help us always to be watching with hope, waiting while being busy for Your kingdom, eager to see Jesus but burdened for those who don’t yet know Him. Lord, I pray for (name) today. Don’t let them live unaware. Remind them of the promises in Scripture that tell us this is not our home. Stir them to action and cause them to think about what they choose to say and do- would it please Jesus if He returned to find them doing it? Lord, affirm to us, even today, that You are working and that Jesus return is near. Don’t let us grow dull. Don’t allow us to become desensitized to the urgency. Lord, we long for that moment when our faith will become sight- I pray that (name) would long for that too! Lord Jesus, come quickly!”
Pray without ceasing.
Do you know Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior or are you unsure of what you believe? Do you know where you will spend eternity or are you just hoping for the best?
If you have questions or would like to know more, please reach out! I would be happy to share the hope you can find in Jesus and point you to what He says in Scripture that gives confidence in His plan for our lives.
G726 - harpazō - Strong's Greek Lexicon (niv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g726/niv/mgnt/0-1/
G138 - haireō - Strong's Greek Lexicon (niv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g138/niv/mgnt/0-1/